Umxholo
- Ukucinga okunyanzelekileyo
- Okulindelweyo
- Inokubonakala njani yahlukile le?
- Ukucinga okunyanzelekileyo
- Okulindelweyo
- 1. Yenza nasiphi na isicelo ofuna ukusenza
- 2. Yithi ewe uze ulandele, okanye uthi hayi
- 3. Yamkela ukuphoxeka nentlungu
- 4. Bukela umahluko wamandla
- 5. Yenza iimfuno
- 6. Imemo yenyanga
Ngaba ufumanisa ukuba ufuna uncedo ngokwakha ubudlelwane obunempilo? Ukuthatha imibuzo yobudlelwane obusempilweni inokuba licebo elihle lokufumanisa ukuba umi phi neqabane lakho.
Ukuba ujonga iingcebiso zobudlelwane obusempilweni, sikulethela izivumelwano ezintandathu ekufuneka ujonge kuzo. Ezi zivumelwano zizinto ezisisiseko zokwakha ubudlelwane obunempilo.
- Yenza iimfuno
- Hambisa ulindelo kwizicelo, uhambise imbophelelo yokuzibophelela kwizithembiso
UCaitlyn: Mama, ndingaziboleka iibhutsi zakho ezintsha?
USherry: Ngokuqinisekileyo sithandwa
Kamva ngala mini.
USherry: UCainlyn uyacaphukisa! Ndifuna ukunxiba iibhutsi zam ezintsha waziboleka!
Gabe: Ngaphandle kokubuza?
USherry: Hayi, ubuzile. Andinakuthi hayi, kuba uyakuphoxeka.
UCaitlyn: Mama, yintoni ingxaki? Kutheni undenza umsindo?
USherry: Bendifuna ukunxiba ezo bhutsi namhlanje! Uzingca kakhulu!
UCaitlyn: Kulungile uxolo! Awunatyala kum! Ungumama ocaphukisayo. Kulungile. Andiyi kuphinda ndibuze nantoni na kwakhona.
Ngaba olu hlobo lwesimo luqhelekile?
Ndikubiza ngokuba "Yimbophelelo yokucinga." USherry wayenembopheleleko yokucinga ukuba kufuneka aboleke iibhotile zakhe eCaitlyn.
Njani ngale nto:
Kum kwintlanganiso yabasebenzi: “Owu nkosi yam, laa mntu mtsha usebenza, uColton, khange azinikezele nangokuhlamba izitya zam. Akabahloneli abadala bakhe. Andiqondi ukuba uqashiwe! ”
Lo msindo kunye nokugweba sisiphumo sezinto endizilindeleyo.
Ubudlelwane obusekwe kulindelo kunye noxanduva buhlala buhlungu
Bacinga ukuba kukho incwadi enkulu yokulungileyo nokungalunganga, apho umntu ngamnye kuthi anokufikelela kuyo, ukuze kuthi ngandlela thile sazi, kwaye sivumelane ngokulungileyo, okulungileyo, nokufanelekileyo.
Bacinga ukuba ukuphoxeka akulunganga. Ukuba umntu uziva ephoxekile, kukho omnye umntu onephutha. Endaweni yokuqonda ukuba ukuphoxeka yimvakalelo yendalo umntu ayive xa ezenza ukuba alungelelane nenyani- ukuba le nto bebeyifuna ayizukwenzeka.
Makhe sijonge okwenzekileyo kwezi meko
Ukucinga okunyanzelekileyo
UCaitlyn wenza isicelo.
USherry, ekholelwa ukuba uCainlyn wayenethemba lokunikwa izihlangu, wazenzela 'ingqikelelo yesinyanzelo.' USherry waziva enyanzelekile, ngathi 'wayenako' ukunika uCainlyn izihlangu. Ke wathi 'ewe' xa esithi 'hayi.'
USherry emva koko waziva enenzondo kuCainlyn.
USherry ugxeke uCainlyn kuGabe.
USherry uvakalise umsindo kuCainlyn, esithi uCainlyn wenze into engalunganga, kwaye wayeyimpazamo yokudana kukaSherry. Waphosa uCainlyn kumtya wokuloba enetyala njengesithiyelo.
UCaitlyn uthenge into, kwaye waluma isithiyelo, emva koko waziva enetyala.
UCaitlyn emva koko watyhola uSherry ‘ngokumenza azive enetyala.
UCainlyn wasombulula ingxaki ngokunqamla ubudlelwane. Uthe akazukuphinda enze izicelo kuba akakwazi ukufunda ingqondo kaSherry kwaye akazokwazi ukuthembela kwinyani ka-Sherry ka-ewe.
Okulindelweyo
Kwintlanganiso yabasebenzi, ndinguye 'umdala' weqela. Ndinethemba lokuba umncinci, umsebenzi omtsha, uColton, uyakubonisa imbeko kubantu abadala. Into ejongeka kum, kukuba uya kunikezela ukucoca izitya zam. Ndicinga ukuba uColton angakhangela incwadi enkulu yokulungileyo nokungalunganga, kwaye azi ukuba kufuneka 'acoce izitya zam.
Into enokwenzeka kukuba eli tyendyana linokwenzeka ukuba libe nembono efanayo yokuzibophelela ehambelana noko ndikulindeleyo. Okanye mhlawumbi angayifunda ingqondo yam. Kwimeko apho, uya kuhlamba izitya zam. Eyona nto inokwenzeka kule meko, kukuba ndingamqumbeli. Yeyona meko ilungileyo.
Kodwa ngakumbi, ngekhe kwenzeke ukuba abenezibophelelo ezifanayo ngokuhambelana nolindelo lwam. Emva koko ndiya kumqumbela, ndimgwebe, ndimphose ngentambo yokuloba enetyala, kwaye 'ndimenze' azive engalunganga kwaye embi.
Inokubonakala njani yahlukile le?
Ukuphilisa ukungasebenzi kubudlelwane obusekwe kulindelo, thetha ulindelo lwakho njengezicelo.
Ukulindela kuthatha omnye umntu kunyanzelekile ngoxanduva lokuziphatha. Ukuba kufuneka 'bayenze, kwaye ukuba abayenzi imbi / ayilunganga / abaziphethe kakuhle.
Isicelo siyayiqonda inkululeko engaphakathi yomnye umntu, kwaye siyavuma ukuba ukuba bathi ewe, sisipho kuwe, okanye isigqibo abasenzileyo (mhlawumbi ngenxa yokutshintsha) kwindawo yenkululeko.
Oku kuvula ithuba elingakumbi lokuzimela, uthando, kunye noxabiso kubudlelwane.
Ukucinga okunyanzelekileyo
UCainlyn wenze isicelo esisempilweni.
USherry wathi ewe, kodwa wayethetha ukuthi hayi.
Nokuba yeyiphi
- Wayenokuthi "Hayi, Caitlyn, bendiceba ukunxiba izihlangu namhlanje," okanye
- Ukuba uSherry angaziva onwabile ngokuhlangabezana nesidingo sakhe sokuboleka ngeebhutsi kuCaitlyn, ngewayenokuthi 'ewe,' kwaye wakonwabela ukunikezelwa kwesi sipho.
UGabe ngewayethe “Ukuba uCainlyn uphoxekile, kulungile. Uyakuphila. Ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, ngoyena mntu ufumana ukugxekwa kwakho. Ndingabheja ukuba ngewayekhethe ukuba uthembekile wathi 'hayi.' ”
Endaweni yokuba uCaitlyn athenge into ethi wenze into engalunganga, okanye nguye onoxanduva lokudana kukaSherry ngokwenza isicelo, angathi, "Mama, xa bendicela iibhutsi, ngendilungile ukuba ubusithi" hayi. ' Ndiziva ndidanile kodwa okwethutyana. Ndingafumana iqhinga elahlukileyo lokuhlangabezana nemfuno yam.
Xa ndikubuza kwixa elizayo ndiza kuthi 'Mama, ingayifeza imfuno yakho yegalelo kwaye ikwenze uzive wonwabile ngokundiboleka iibhutsi zakho?' Kungenxa yokuba isicelo sam sithetha oko. Kwaye ndiyathemba ukuba uya kundiphendula ngokunyaniseka. Ukuba awusoze uthi 'hayi' kum, ngekhe ndithembe ukuba ewe yakho iyinyani.
Uninzi lwabantu lubambe uxanduva lokucinga okungabonisi nakuphi na ukulindelwa komnye umntu. Kuhlala kuluncedo ukuqinisekisa umbono, ngokubuza kwelinye iqela ukuba banesicelo abangathanda ukusenza.
Mhlawumbi umama uya kuzo zonke iintlobo zobunzima ukwenza ikeyiki yosuku lokuzalwa komntwana wakhe esikolweni, kodwa isikolo asimfuni nokuba ayenze. Unokujonga esikolweni ngaphambi kokuthatha nje uxanduva. Kwaye emva koko, unokuthi ewe wasimahla okanye hayi kwisicelo.
Okulindelweyo
Enye imeko enokwenzeka kwintlanganiso yabasebenzi kukuba ndiguqula ulindelo lwam lube sisicelo. “Colton, ungakhathazeka xa uhlamba izitya zam ngenxa yam? Ingandinceda ndikwazi ukugqibezela le projekthi ndiyenzayo. ” Emva koko uColton, kwinkululeko yakhe, wayenokuthi ewe okanye hayi. Ukuba uthi ewe, ndiziva ndinombulelo kuye, awonwabileyo.
Okanye, enye imeko, andinakulindela kuColton. Kodwa mhlawumbi, unikezela ngokuhlamba izitya zam. Emva koko ndothuka kancinci, amashiya am anyuka. Emva koko ndiyancuma kwaye ndiziva ndinoxabiso kakhulu. Ubona amashiya am kunye noncumo lwam, kwaye uziva onwabile. Isidingo sakhe somrhumo kunye nonxibelelwano sifezekisiwe. Ukuphumelela kabini.
1. Yenza nasiphi na isicelo ofuna ukusenza
Xa kuvunyelwene ukuba umntu angathi hayi, oku kunciphisa uxinzelelo oluninzi malunga nokwenza isicelo. Ukuba woyika ukuba umntu uza kuthi ewe xa bethetha hayi, unokoyika ukwenza isicelo.
Kodwa xa usazi ukuba baya kuthatha uxanduva lokuthi hayi, ungabuza nantoni na oyithandayo. “Uyakukhotha umgangatho?” Sisicelo esithandekayo ngokugqibeleleyo.
2. Yithi ewe uze ulandele, okanye uthi hayi
Nje ukuba umntu enze isicelo, kuluncedo kakhulu ukuba omnye umntu aphendule ngo ewe okanye hayi. Okanye ngesilungiso esicetyiswayo kwisicelo ukuze sikwazi ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zabo. “Ngokuqinisekileyo ndiza kukubolekisa ngeebhutsi, kodwa ungazibuyisa ngentsimbi yesi-4 ukuze ndizinxibe kwiklasi yam yangokuhlwa?”
Ukuthi hayi yimpendulo entle kwisicelo.
Ukunxibelelana ukuba kutheni usithi hayi, oko kukuthi, ukuchaza ukuba zeziphi na iimfuno zakho ozama ukuhlangabezana nazo ezikufaka endleleni ethi ewe, kuhlala kuluncedo ekuthobeni iintlungu zikahayi. “Ndingathanda ukuboleka ngeebhutsi zam, kodwa ndiceba ukuzinxiba ngale mvakwemini.”
Ukuba umntu uthi ewe, ke oku kukuzibophelela.
Kuluxinzelelo olukhulu kubudlelwane ukuba umntu akalandeli ngezibophelelo zabo.
Sonke sinezithintelo ezingalindelekanga ezithi zize endleleni yokulandela izibophelelo zethu, kwaye kulungile. Ukuhlala kwisidima kunye nomnye umntu, kuya kufuneka sinxibelelane nabo ngokukhawuleza, kwaye sinikele, ngokusemandleni akho, ukulungisa izinto.
Kwaye njengoko sibonile noSherry, ukuthi ewe xa usithi hayi, ayisosipho komnye umntu.
Ngamanye amaxesha, uya kuthatha isigqibo sokuba u-ewe, nangona ungaziva ufuna ukunika isicelo. Xa umntwana wakho ekhala ebusuku, usenokungavumi ukuphakama, kodwa uthatha isigqibo, kwinkululeko yakho, ukwenza njalo.
3. Yamkela ukuphoxeka nentlungu
Ukuphoxeka kunye nokwenzakala ziimvakalelo ezisempilweni, ezenza ukuba umntu alungelelane nenyani.
Zonke iimvakalelo zinenjongo eluncedo ekwakheni ubudlelwane obunempilo.
Siziva sidanile xa sisamkela inyani yokuba asizukufumana into ebesiyifuna. Siziva sibuhlungu xa sisamkela ukuba umntu akasithandi, njengoko besifuna njalo. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuvumela le mvakalelo ukuba yenze umsebenzi wayo, kwaye isizise kwindawo yokwamkela ubunyani behlabathi lethu.
La mava ngokweemvakalelo ngamaxeshana. Azonakalisi.
Ukuba siyakuqonda oku, sixhase umntu ukuba amkele imvakalelo, kwaye sinike ubungqina bokubabonisa umntu ngelixa efumana le ntlungu yethutyana, sibenzela inkonzo enkulu kakhulu kunokuzama ukusola umntu, ukukhanyela uvakalelo, okanye ukuxoka ukunqanda iimvakalelo ukuba zingenzeki. Kulungile ukuziva.Yiloo nto kanye ekufuneka beyazi.
Kubonakala ngathi uloyiko lokuphoxeka okanye ukwenzakala yile nto iqhubela abantu kwiindlela ezingalunganga zobuhlobo.
Enye ingxaki eqhuba ubudlelwane obungenampilo kuxa singahloniphani omnye nomnye. Umntu othi hayi utyholwa ukuba umenzi wesicelo uziva ekhathazekile okanye edanile.
Njengenxalenye yezivumelwano ezintandathu, wonke umntu kufuneka avume ukuba wonke umntu unoxanduva lweemvakalelo zakhe, kwaye angathathi uxanduva lweemvakalelo zomnye umntu ngaphandle kwabaxhomekeke kuwe.
Ngokusola umntu othe hayi ngeemvakalelo zakho, wenza ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba kwixesha elizayo baya kuthi ewe xa bethetha ukuthi hayi, emva koko uyakufakwa kwingqumbo, okanye bangalandeli, njl.
4. Bukela umahluko wamandla
Kuninzi kubudlelwane bethu bemihla ngemihla, sinokwenza ezi zivumelwano zintandathu zobudlelwane obusempilweni, kodwa kubalulekile ukuba sazi ukuba kolunye ubudlelwane, elinye iqela alikwazi okanye alinamandla okanye linemikhwa yenkcubeko ngokuchasene nokuthi hayi xa bethi hayi .
Kule meko, unokwenza isicelo esicace gca, unike imvume ecacileyo yehayi yasimahla. “Nceda uthi hayi kwisicelo sam, ngaphandle kokuba siyakunceda ngandlela thile, okanye sonwabe, ukusinika. Ndifuna kuphela ukuba uthi ewe ukuba ingayimemonon. ” Imemonon yintengiselwano eyinzuzo kumaqela omabini. Ukuphumelela / ukuphumelela.
Ngamanye amaxesha elinye iqela alinakuthi hayi-njengoMama woMhlaba, okanye izilwanyana, okanye abantwana abancinci.
Kule meko, unokuthatha uxanduva lokuva uhayi wabo ngayo nayiphi na indlela onokuyifumana, njengokuzibuza, 'Ukuba ibindim lo, bendiza kuthi ewe okanye hayi?'
5. Yenza iimfuno
KuNxibelelwano olungenabundlobongela, bathetha ngeemfuno ngendlela eyenza kubonakale ngathi ufuna ukubaphepha.
Nanku apho ukucinga kwam kwahlukile khona kancinci. Ngelixa ndivuma ukuba ukwenza ibango, endaweni yesicelo, kudala unxibelelwano kubudlelwane, kukho amaxesha apho ndikholelwa ekubeni ukwenza ibango yeyona ndlela isempilweni yokuhamba.
Ukuba omnye umntu ukhetha amaqhinga, engakhange athathele ingqalelo iimfuno zakho kwaye ngenxa yoko bayazenza / abazenzi isimilo esikuhlukumezayo, okanye sikuthintele ekufezekiseni iimfuno zakho, ke ndiyakholelwa ekubeni ukwenza ibango laloo mntu likhondo lesenzo kunye esona siphumo sihle ngokubanzi.
Ngokufuna, ndithetha ukuba uya kunika umntu isipho solwazi.
Uya kubazisa, ngaphambi kokuba benze isigqibo kwinkululeko yabo, ukuba uza kwenza ntoni kwinkululeko yakho ukuphendula ukhetho lwabo.
Ibango lilandela ukuba emva koko mna, ifomathi. "Ukuba ukhetha ukushiya izitya zakho phezu kwetafile, ndiyakukhetha ukuzibeka ebhedini yakho."
Kwakhona, ndingasebenzisa kuphela ibango ukuba omnye umntu akafuni ukuncokola nawe ukuze achonge zombini iimfuno zakho kwaye ufumane isicwangciso esihlangabezana nazo zombini ezi mfuno. Okanye, ukuba omnye umntu uyenza kodwa akenzi nzame zokulandela ukuzibophelela.
Ndiyakholelwa ukuba kungcono ukuthatha uxanduva lweemfuno zakho, kwaye usebenzise nawaphi na amandla onawo ukukhusela ungaphulwa.
Olu hlobo lwemeko lunqabile, kwaye luhlala lubonisa ukuba omnye umntu ukwintlungu ethile kwaye ufuna uvelwano noncedo. Ke emva kokumisela owakho umda okhuselayo, unokukhetha ukubanika uncedo.
6. Imemo yenyanga
Oko sisebenzela ubudlelwane, kubizwa ngokuba yimemonon.
IMemnoon ithetha ukuba umntu omnye unika omnye isipho, kwaye ngokunika isipho, bayavuya. Ke yimeko yokuphumelela / yokuphumelela.
Njengokuba uColton enikezela ngokuhlamba izitya zam.
Ngokwenza ngokuzazi ezi zivumelwano zintandathu nabantu ebomini bakho, ndicinga ukuba uyakufumanisa ukuba uninzi lobunzima obungafunekiyo bobudlelwane buya kuthi shwaka, kwaye uzive uhlonitshwa ngakumbi, kwaye uyokonwabela abantu abahle ebomini bakho ukuba ngokupheleleyo.