Umxholo
Isizukulwana esidlulileyo, yayiqhelekile into yokuba ushiye indlu yabazali bakho uye edolophini uze uye ngqo kumyeni wakho.
Ngama-1970, abafazi batshata malunga neminyaka engamashumi amabini ubudala. Ngoku kuqheleke ngakumbi ukulandela imfundo kunye nekhondo lomsebenzi kwiminyaka yakho yamashumi amabini emva koko ufumane iqabane lakho kwiminyaka engamashumi amathathu. Ukuba usondela kwiminyaka yakho yamashumi amathathu, unokuzifumana ulangazelela ukufumana iqabane lakho lomphefumlo.
Umnqweno wokutshata unokukudla ngamanye amaxesha.
Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi ukuba uninzi lwabahlobo bakho batshatile kwiminyaka yabo yamashumi amabini. Ke abo bahlobo baqala ukuba nabantwana, beshiya amafa amancinci, kwanangaphambi kokuba udibane neqabane lakho. Nangona kunjalo, ukutshata kwiminyaka yakho yamashumi amathathu kunokuba nezona zinto zilungileyo.
Ngokwe Psychology Today, inqanaba loqhawulo mtshato lisezantsi kumntu otshate ngaphezulu kweminyaka engamashumi amabini anesihlanu.
Ewe kunjalo, kunokubakho iingxaki ekutshateni kwiminyaka yakho yamashumi amathathu, ngakumbi ukuba ufuna ukuba nabantwana kwaye iwotshi yebhayiloji ibonakala ngathi ikhawuleza ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa kukho izibonelelo ezintle kwabo batshata kwishumi labo lesithathu leminyaka.
Uyazi ngokwakho
Xa utshata emva kwexesha elithile kubudala bakho, unexesha lokuzazi ngakumbi. Uya kuba nabantu ohlala nabo abanamashumi amabini abanokuthi bakunike ingxelo esempilweni malunga nokuba kunjani ukuhlala nawe usuku nosuku.
Unethuba lokuhamba, uphonononge izinto ozithandayo, uhlala kwesinye isixeko, okanye wenze utshintsho ngequbuliso kwikhondo lomsebenzi. Zonke ezi meko ziya kukunika ukuqonda okunzulu kwinto oyithandayo, into oyithiyileyo, kunye nendlela ophendula ngayo kumava ahlukeneyo.
Ukuba uwenzile umsebenzi ukuze uzazi, uya kuba nobukrelekrele ngakumbi ngokwasemoyeni ngokuhamba kwexesha.
Uyakuyazi indlela oziva ngayo ngezinto, yintoni ekwenza wonwabe, ekwenza ube lusizi, kunye nendlela osabela ngayo kwiimvakalelo nakwizenzo zabanye abantu. Emva kokuhlala nabantu ohlala nabo, usenokwazi neminye yemingxunya yokuhlala kunye.
Isibonelelo sokwenene kukukhula ngokweemvakalelo ekuqondeni izizathu zakho kunye nendlela olibona ngayo ilizwe.
Ukhe waphila
Njengomntu omdala ongatshatanga, iminyaka yakho yamashumi amabini ihlala ijolise kwimfundo, ukwakha amakhondo kunye nokuzonwabisa. Unethuba lokufunda izihloko ozikhathaleleyo emva koko utyale izakhono kunye neetalente zakho kwicandelo okhethe ukulilandela.
Ngaphandle koxanduva lweqabane kunye nabantwana, unokuthatha isigqibo sokubeka imali yakho kwizinto ozikhethayo.
Ukuba ufuna ukufumana abahlobo kunye kunye nokuhamba ngesikhephe, unga. Ukuba ufuna ukuhlala phesheya, kunokwenzeka ukuba ukwenze oko kwenzeke. Ukuba ufuna ukuhamba kwaye uphonononge ukuhlala kwenye indawo entsha, unokwenza eso sigqibo sibe lula kwaye utsibe kwisahluko esitsha.
Abahlobo abatshatele abancinci kakhulu kwaye banabantwana abancinci kakhulu baya kuphawula kuhambo lwakho kwihlabathi liphela. Baya kuba nomona ngeminyaka oye wahlola iidolophu ezintsha, indawo ezinomdla, okanye uhlala eManhattan ecaleni kweCentral Park kunye nabantu ohlala nabo.
Ewe, aba bahlobo babathanda kakhulu abatshatileyo kunye nabantwana babo, kodwa bahlala ngokuzonwabisa kulo lonke ubumnandi obupakishelayo kwiminyaka yakho eyodwa.
Ulungile
Kwiminyaka engamashumi amabini anesihlanu, ukuphuma kunye neqela labahlobo kude kube ziiyure zonke zobusuku kukuqhuma. Ngexesha oneminyaka engamashumi amathathu, umbono wokuchitha ubusuku obunenzolo kunye nomntu omthandayo uyathandeka.
Umtshato ufuna ukuzincama kwaye ulalanise.
Awungekhe uthabathe umsebenzi kwilizwe lonke ngaphandle kokuxoxa ukuba lichaphazela njani iqabane lakho. Yongeza abantwana kusapho lwakho kwaye ukuzincama kuya kukhula ngokuqinisekileyo.
Kwiminyaka engama-22 ubudala, la madini ayenokuziva njengomthwalo onzima kwaye abangele iimvakalelo zokuphoswa. Ngokuqinisekileyo oku kulalanisa kunye nokuzincama kunokuziva kunzima nakuma-30 akho. Kodwa, emva kokulandela amaphupha akho kangangeminyaka elishumi okanye ngaphezulu, uya kuziva ulungele oko kufunekayo kuwe ukuze umtshato usebenze.
Ukungatshati ixesha elide kunokuziva ulilolo
Kuyinyaniso ukuba ukungatshati ixesha elide kunokuziva ulilolo ngamanye amaxesha. Kodwa, ukutshata kwiminyaka yakho yamashumi amathathu eneneni kuyamangalisa. Ngapha koko, kufanelekile ukulinda.
Ukuba utshata kwiminyaka yakho yamashumi amathathu, mhlawumbi ucinga abantwana kungekudala kwangoko. Ndiyakuthembisa ukuba usengakwazi ukugcina ukuthandana emtshatweni wakho emva kokufumana umntwana.