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Umxholo
Ukufumana iqabane eligqibeleleyo okanye iqabane akufani nokufumana umntu ogqibeleleyo wokuchitha ihlobo elinedwa.
Kuthetha ukufumana umntu onokumthanda kwaye umdala kunye nomntu ozibona umthanda iminyaka engamashumi amane, amashumi amahlanu, nangaphezulu apha endleleni.
Ukufumana nokukhetha umntu ofuna ukutshata naye kwaye uchithe ubomi bakho sisigqibo esinzima kakhulu, kwaye sesona sifuna uxanduva olunzima, kunye nokunyaniseka okuninzi kunye nokucinga kwangaphambili.
Kodwa wonke umsebenzi onzima ngokuqinisekileyo uya kuhlawula wakube ufumene umntu okhethekileyo kwaye uqala ukuphila ubomi bolonwabo!
Ukufumana iqabane eligqibeleleyo akukho malunga nethamsanqa, kodwa malunga nokumisela injongo kunye nokuzama ukuyiphumeza.
Ezi ngcebiso zilandelayo ngokuqinisekileyo zinokukunceda ufumane iqabane elifanelekileyo okanye iqabane
1. Zithande
Enye yeendlela ezilula zokufumana iqabane kunye nokuqinisekisa ukuba uzibophelele emntwini ofanelekileyo ngezizathu ezifanelekileyo kukuzithanda ngaphambi kokufumana umntu oza kuchitha ubomi bakho bonke.
Ukuzithanda akuthethi ukuba kuya kufuneka ukuba ube u-100% wonwabile, kodwa ukuba awonwabanga nesiqu sakho, kungenzeka ukuba ungene kubudlelwane nomnye umntu kuba loo mntu ekwenza uzive kamnandi ngawe .
Ewe umntu okhetha ukuchitha ubomi bakho kufuneka ekugqibezele, akwenze uzive uphelele njengomntu, kodwa kubalulekile ukuba uzithande ukuze uqonde ngokupheleleyo xa umntu ofuna ukutshata naye ekwenza uzive ungcono !
Ngamafutshane, kubalulekile ukuba wonwabe kukuba ungubani, ujongeka njani, kunye nento oyenzayo.
Oku akuyi kukhulisa ukuzithemba kwakho kuphela, kukwenze kube lula kuwe ukutsala abantu, kodwa kuya kukunceda ufumane umntu omangalisayo ngokulinganayo oya kwenza ubomi bakho bube ngcono kwaye bonwabe, ayingomntu olapha ukuzalisa izikhewu kuphela ubomi bakho obungonwabanga, xa ukuhambo lokufumana iqabane.
2. Yonwaba xa uwedwa
Ukungatshati xa bonke abahlobo bakho abasenyongweni bonwabile emtshatweni, okanye ukuthandana yenye yezona mvakalelo zibi emhlabeni.
Unokulangazelela uthando ngaphezu kwayo nantoni na, kwaye kuyindalo ukuba uzive ulusizi kwaye unesizungu ukuba awukwazi ukuyifumana. Kodwa, into ebalulekileyo yokuthanda ukuba ungubani ukuchitha ixesha kunye nawe.
Kubalulekile ukuba ufumane iindlela ezahlukeneyo kunye nezinto ezikugcina wonwabile kwaye unomdla ngaphandle kwenye ebalulekileyo.
Oku kuyakukunceda uzive ngcono nangakumbi ngawe xa loo mntu ubalulekileyo esiza!
Uninzi lwabantu luphazama ngokulula ngobuhlobo ngenxa yothando. Ukuba uziva ulusizi kwaye ulusizi wedwa, unokuhle ungaphazanyiswa lula nangubani na ongena ebomini bakho akunike into yokwenza.
3. Fumana amava
Ukuba uyakwazi ukufumana uthando lwakho lokuqala xa uneminyaka elishumi elinesithandathu, ke unqabile kwaye unohlobo olunethamsanqa kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, abantu abaninzi abatshati owokuqala, owesibini, okanye nkqu nentombi yabo yesihlanu okanye isoka labo.
Ukuthandana nabantu abaninzi kunceda uqonde iindlela ezahlukeneyo apho ubudlelwane bunokusebenza, kwaye kukunceda ukuba uqonde amandla angapheliyo kunye neefom ezinokubakho ubudlelwane.
Oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka umshiye umntu omthandayo ukuze ubone ukuba yintoni phaya.
Kodwa, ukuba uziva ukuba "wonwabile" kunye neqabane lakho kwaye awuzange wakhe wathandana nomnye umntu, ke kungcono uzame ukuthandana nabanye abantu kunokuhlala.
Ukuthandana nabantu abaninzi kuyanceda ekufundeni, kwaye kukwenza uqiniseke ngakumbi ukuba iqabane lakho elizayo 'lelona' kwaye uziva njani kubo kubaluleke kakhulu.
Ukufumana amava ezesondo nako akulunganga.
Ukuba ubukhe unamaqabane ambalwa ngaphambi kokudibana nomntu wakho okhethekileyo, kuya kukunceda uqiniseke nokuba ikhemistri phakathi kwakho yinto ekhethekileyo ngokwenene.
Kwakhona, ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuzibophelela kumntu wokuqala okhe wahlala naye ungakhange wonwabe ngokwenene, unokuchitha ubomi bakho bonke uzibuza ukuba ngekwenzeke ntoni ukuba ubungakwenzanga oko.
4. Misela iimpawu ozijonga kwiqabane
Nangona ngekhe wazi ukuba ngubani kanye kanye umphefumlo wakho de utshixe amehlo kunye nabo kwaye uzive umhlaba wakho uphela, ngokuqinisekileyo unokujonga iimpawu ozijongileyo xa ufuna ukufumana iqabane.
Olunye lwezi mpawu lunokubaluleka kangangokuba awuyi kuthathela ngqalelo umntu njengeqabane elinokubakho ukuba abanalo.