Umxholo
Ukuba ubuze abantu abayi-100 esitratweni, ukuba banoloyiko lokuba bodwa ukuba abatshatanga, abekho kubudlelwane, ama-99% angathi abanangxaki ukuba bodwa okanye abanaloyiko lokuba nesizungu.
Kodwa leyo iya kuba yinyani epheleleyo, inzulu kakhulu.
Kule minyaka ingama-30 idlulileyo, umbhali oyena mntu wathengisa kakhulu, umcebisi, umqeqeshi wobomi, kunye noMphathiswa uDavid Essel bebencedisa abantu ukuba bafike kwingcambu yesizathu sokuba ubudlelwane babo bungabi sempilweni njengokuba befanele ukuba njalo.
Apha ngezantsi, uDavid wabelana ngeengcinga zakhe kwinto elula yokuba uninzi lwabantu luyoyika ukuhlala lodwa ebomini.
Umtshabalalisi ophambili kubudlelwane obunokubakho bothando
“Kule minyaka ingama-40 idlulileyo, iminyaka engama-30 njengomcebisi, umqeqeshi wobomi obalaseleyo, kunye nomphathiswa, ndizibonile iinkqubo zenkolelo ngothando nobudlelwane notshintsho.
Kodwa olunye utshintsho olungakhange lwenzeke, kunye nokuphela kobudlelwane bethu bothando, luloyiko kunye noxinzelelo lokuba wedwa ebomini.
Ndiyazi, ndiyazi ukuba ufunda ngoluhlobo ngoku kwaye awutshatanga mhlawumbi uthi “UDavid akandazi, andindedwa ebomini, kwaye andoyiki ukuba ndedwa, Ndihlala ndikhululekile phakathi kwam, andifuni abanye abantu ukuba bonwabe ... njl njl.
Kodwa inyaniso ichasene kakhulu.
Uninzi lwabantu alunakuma lodwa. Kukho uxinzelelo oluninzi, ngakumbi kwabasetyhini, lokuba kubudlelwane, ukubandakanyeka, okanye ukutshata kangangokuba kumntu obhinqileyo ongaphezulu kweminyaka engama-25 ongatshatanga ujongwa “njengokuba kukho into engalunganga kuye.”
Ke xa ndisebenza nabafazi abajonge ukungena kwilizwe lokuthandana, ukufumana iqabane eligqibeleleyo, ndiza kubacela kuqala ukuba baqwalasele ukuthatha ixesha elinzima emva kobudlelwane babo bokugqibela ukuze benze umsebenzi ofunekayo wokukhupha ingqumbo yabo.
Ndiya kubacela ukuba bajonge esipilini kwaye babone indima abayidlalayo ekhokelele ekusebenzeni kobudlelwane kwaye bazazi ngakumbi. Ukuzazi njengowasetyhini ongatshatanga okanye umntu ongatshatanga.
Impendulo ihlala ifana: "Ndikhululekile ukuhlala ndedwa ...", Kodwa inyani yahlukile; mandikunike imizekelo.
Kwincwadi yethu entsha, ethengisa kakhulu, "Uthando neemfihlo zobudlelwane ... Wonke umntu kufuneka azi!" Sinika ezi zizathu zilandelayo zokuba abantu bajongana njani nokuba bodwa, ngelixa bengekho kubudlelwane ebomini, abangaphilanga konke.
Abantu bajongana njani nokuba bodwa
Inomboloe yokuqala. Abantu abanoloyiko lokuba bodwa ngeempelaveki baya kufumana indlela yokuziphazamisa, nokuba kukusela, ukutshaya, ukutya kakhulu, ixesha elininzi elichithwe kwiNetflix.
Ngamanye amagama, abakulungelanga ukuba wedwa; Kuya kufuneka baphazamise iingqondo zabo kunokuba babe kumzuzu wangoku kunye nabo.
Inani lesibini. Abantu abaninzi, xa bekubudlelwane obungenampilo, bafuna iphiko okanye intombazana enamaphiko, umntu oza kuba naye ecaleni, ke xa olu lwalamano luphela, abayi kuba bodwa. Isandi esiqhelekileyo?
Inani lesithathu. Xa silala nge-hop okt, xa siphelisa ubudlelwane sangena kwenye, okanye sibuphelisa ubudlelwane bethu, kwaye kwiintsuku ezingama-30 kamva, sithandana nomntu omtsha ... Oko kubizwa ngokuba kukulala, kwaye luphawu olukhulu lokuba sinayo uloyiko lokuba wedwa ebomini.
Malunga neminyaka eli-10 eyadlulayo, ndandisebenza nomntu obhinqileyo owayemenzela yonke into: wayelumkile, enomtsalane, ewukhathalele umzimba wakhe kwindawo yokuzivocavoca ...
Wayethandana nomfana omnye owaphuma phandle wathi eneneni akanawo nomdla wokulala naye ... Kodwa wayesazi ukuba angatshintsha ingqondo.
Khange isebenze.
Kwaye njengoko esiva ukuba akanamdla kwaye akazukutshintsha ingqondo yakhe malunga nobudlelwane, waqalisa kwangoko ukuthetha nomnye umfana, ngelixa wayesenendoda yokuqala, ukuqinisekisa ukuba akazukuba yedwa .
Ude wandixelela ukuba uluhlobo olwahlukileyo lomfazi, ukuba kufuneka abenobudlelwane ukuze azive kamnandi ngaye.
Oko kubizwa ngokuba kukungavumi. Akukho mntu kufuneka abenobudlelwane ukuze azive kamnandi ngawe, kwaye ukuba kufuneka ube kubudlelwane, ubizwa ngokuba "yi-100% yomntu oxhomekekileyo."
Kwaye xa umfana wesibini emxelela ukuba wayengenamdla kuyo nayiphi na into ngaphandle kokuba ngumhlobo nezibonelelo, uqhubeke nokumbona ngelixa ejonge macala wonke umntu oza kuzalisa indawo yakhe ebhedini.
Oko kunokuvakala kukuphambana, kodwa kuyinto eqhelekileyo, ayinampilo, kodwa iqhelekile.
Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zokujonga ezinokubonisa ukuba usempilweni, wonwabile, kwaye ungoyiki ukuba wedwa:
Inomboloe yokuqala. NgooLwezihlanu, ngeMigqibelo, ngeCawa, xa wonke umntu ephumile kwiintsuku okanye kumatheko ... Ukhululekile ukuhlala, funda incwadi; Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ubambe ingqondo yakho ngengqondo ngeziyobisi, utywala, iswekile, okanye inikotini.
Inani lesibini. Wenza ubomi obuzaliswe kukuzonwabisa, amathuba okuvolontiya, nokunye okuninzi ukuze uzive ukhulule ngawe, ubuyisela umva, uyinxalenye yesisombululo kulo mhlaba xa kuthelekiswa nokuba yinxalenye yengxaki.
Inani lesithathu. Xa uyithanda inkampani yakho, awunangxaki yokuthatha iintsuku ezingama-365 emva kokuba ubudlelwane bexesha elide buphelile, kuba uyazi ukuba kufuneka ucime ingqondo, umzimba kunye nomoya ukuze ulungele ubudlelwane obulandelayo.
Landela ezi ngcebiso zingasentla malunga nendlela yokujongana nokuba wedwa, kwaye uya kuqala ukubona ubomi obahluke mpela, ubomi obuzaliswe kukuzithemba okuzithemba nokuzithemba njengokuba ungasoyiki ukuba wedwa ubomi.