Umxholo
- 1. Utshintsho alunakuphepheka - ungazami ukuluyekisa
- 2. Xa sisilele ukunika iqabane lakho imvume yokutshintsha
- 3. Ukunqongophala kokuqonda izinto ezithintela ukukhula
- 4. Asizithandi ezinye zeenguqu
- 5. Vumela iqabane lakho ukuba liguquke libe ngumntu lowo bakhetha ukuba lilo
- Jongana nobungozi obunokubakho kunye nokwenza isicwangciso somsebenzi
“Utshintshile!” -Kunyango, ndiva uninzi lwezibini zichaza ukuba amaqabane atshintshile ukusukela oko betshatile.
Ndiphulaphule ngenyameko njengoko bechaza kwaye bexoxa ngamaqabane abo abakholelwa ukuba ayinguye laa mntu babesithi: "Ndiyakholwa!" Emva kokutyholwa ngokutshintsha, umtyholwa uthetha into enje, “Hayi anditshintshanga. Ndingumntu okwam! ” Ngamanye amaxesha bade balirhoxe ityala labo baze batyhole amaqabane abo ngesenzo esifanayo xa besithi, “Nguwe otshintshileyo!” Inyaniso liqabane lakho ngaphezu kokuba litshintshile, nawe ngokunjalo. Oku Kulungile! Ukuba utshatile ngaphezulu kweminyaka embalwa kwaye alukhange lubekho utshintsho ngokuqinisekileyo oku kuyingxaki ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi.
1. Utshintsho alunakuphepheka - ungazami ukuluyekisa
Akukho nto ihlala ifana, ngakumbi xa kuziwa kuluntu. Ukusukela kumhla wokukhulelwa kwethu sitshintsha mihla le. Sitshintsha ukusuka kumbungu, emva koko umntwana, emva koko usana, umntwana omncinci, umntwana omncinci, umntwana ofikisayo, ulutsha, umntu omdala, njalo njalo. Ubuchopho bethu buyatshintsha, imizimba yethu iyatshintsha, isiseko solwazi lwethu siyatshintsha, isiseko sezakhono sitshintsha, izinto esizithandayo nesingazithandiyo ziyatshintsha, nemikhwa yethu iyatshintsha.
Olu luhlu lweenguqu eziqhubekayo lunokuqhubeka kumaphepha. Ngokwengcinga ka-Erik Erikson ayisiyi kuphela ukuba sitshintsha ngokwebhayoloji, kodwa inkxalabo yethu, imiceli mngeni yobomi, kunye nezinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka ziyaguquka nakweli xesha ngalinye okanye isigaba sobomi. Ukuba sitshintsha rhoqo ukusukela ekukhulelweni, kutheni le nto inokumisa ngequbuliso umhla esatshata ngawo?
Ngesizathu esithile esingaqhelekanga, silindele ukuba utshintsho luyeke xa iqabane lethu lithathe isigqibo sokuba bafuna ukuchitha lonke usuku lwabo nathi. Sifuna ukuba bahlale bengabantu abayiyo mhla sathandana nabo ngonaphakade ngokungathi asinakubathanda nangayiphi na indlela.
2. Xa sisilele ukunika iqabane lakho imvume yokutshintsha
Ukungabikho kotshintsho emtshatweni yingxaki kuba utshintsho luhlala lubonisa ukukhula. Ndicinga ukuba sonke singavuma ukuba xa sisithi asitshintshanga, sithetha ukuba bekungekho kuhluma. Xa sisilela ukunika iqabane lethu imvume yokutshintsha siyabaxelela ukuba abavumelekanga ukuba bakhule, bavele okanye baqhubeke.
Ndiyavuma ukuba lonke utshintsho alulunganga okanye lutshintsho olusempilweni, nangona kunjalo, oku kuyinxalenye yobomi. Yonke into ayizukuba njengoko besilindele okanye sinqwenela njalo.
Ngokwam, ndineminyaka eli-19 nditshatile, kwaye ndinombulelo ngokuba akukho namnye kuthi owayefana nathi xa sasinokuphinda senze izifungo xa sasikwiminyaka yethu yokuqala yama-20. Sasingabantu abakhulu ngelo xesha njengoko sinjalo ngoku, nangona kunjalo, sasingenamava kwaye kuninzi esakufunda.
3. Ukunqongophala kokuqonda izinto ezithintela ukukhula
Iimeko ezahlukeneyo zempilo yengqondo kunye / okanye iingxaki zeemvakalelo, ukuxhomekeka kweekhemikhali, okanye ukubonakaliswa kukonzakala kunokuthintela ukukhula kunye notshintsho. Ugqirha onelayisensi unokuvavanya kwaye axilonge ukufumanisa ukuba ngaba ukhona na umba weklinikhi ekufuneka unyangwe.
4. Asizithandi ezinye zeenguqu
Ngoku ekubeni sisazi ukuba abatshati bethu bazakutshintsha kwaye kufuneka batshintshe, masithethe malunga nokuba kutheni ukuziqhelanisa notshintsho kunokuba nzima. Zininzi iimpendulo kulo mbuzo, kodwa eyona mpendulo isisiseko kwaye ibaluleke kakhulu asizithandi ezinye zeenguqu. Kukho iinguqu esizibonayo kumaqabane ethu esibaqhwabel 'izandla kwaye sizixabisile, kwaye kukho ezo singazamkeliyo, siyazicekisa kwaye sizijongela phantsi.
5. Vumela iqabane lakho ukuba liguquke libe ngumntu lowo bakhetha ukuba lilo
Ndiyabakhuthaza bonke abantu abatshatileyo ukuba bavumele abatshatileyo ukuba baguquke babe yindoda okanye umfazi ababenzelwe ukuba babekho kwaye bakhethe ukuba kuko. Ukuzama ukumila isimilo somntu okanye ubuntu bakhe ngaphandle kweziphumo zakho kukukhathazeka, ungquzulwano, kunye nolwalamano olubi.
Xa umntu omdala eziva ngathi abanakuba ngabo, uneentloni kuba nje bekho phambi kwabanye, kwaye baziva belahliwe ngamaqabane abo basemngciphekweni wokufumana iimpawu zoxinzelelo noxinzelelo, iimvakalelo zosizi , umsindo, inzondo, kunye neengcinga zokungathembeki.
Ngamnye wethu ufuna ukuziva amkelekile kubantu abatshatileyo kwaye azive ngathi balungile na thina kunokuba sihlazeke ngokuba singobani.
Umzekelo olungileyo ngumfazi olindele ukuba umyeni wakhe abuyele ekholejini ayokufumana isidanga sakhe kuba efuna ukuba afumane umsebenzi ongcono. Ufundile, unesiqu esaziwayo nomqeshi wakhe, kwaye uhlala engacacanga xa oogxa bakhe bebuza ngomsebenzi womyeni wakhe.
Uneentloni ngesihloko somyeni anaso ngoku kumqeshi wakhe. Uyaqhubeka nokucebisa umyeni wakhe ukuba aqhubele phambili ngemfundo yakhe, nangona eyazi ukuba akanamnqweno wokwenza njalo kwaye wonwabile ngomsebenzi wakhe wangoku. Oku kunokubangela ukuba umyeni wakhe amqumbele, azive ngathi uneentloni ngaye, azive engafaneleki, kwaye kunokubangela ukuba awuthandabuze umtshato wakhe.
Ukufuna okona kulungileyo kwisiqingatha sakho kubalulekile kumtshato owonwabileyo.
Ngamanye amaxesha kubalulekile ukwamkela ukuba okona kulungileyo kwiqabane lakho kusenokungafani noko kulungileyo kubo. Vumela ukuba abe ngoobani kwaye ubavumele bonwabe. Esi sesinye sezizathu ezininzi ezilungileyo zokuxoxa ngeenjongo zomsebenzi kunye neqabane elizayo ngaphambi kokuba utshate kubalulekile.
Oku kuyakunika ithuba lokuthatha isigqibo sokuba ngaba iinjongo zabo zomsebenzi ziyahambelana nezo zakho, ukuba akunjalo, uthathe isigqibo sokuba uza kuphila kwaye uhlale kunye ngokonwaba ngeenjongo ezahlukeneyo kunye neenkcazo ezichaseneyo zempumelelo.
Jongana nobungozi obunokubakho kunye nokwenza isicwangciso somsebenzi
Xa utshintsho olunobungozi kwimpilo-ntle yakho okanye kwimpilo yobudlelwane, indlela ethathiweyo ibalulekile ekusombululeni ingozi enokubakho kunye nokuphuhlisa isicwangciso sokumelana kunye / okanye sokuhlengahlengisa. Ukusondela kumxholo kunye neqabane lakho ngothando nokuqonda endaweni yobubi nomsindo kubalulekile.
Kukwabalulekile ukuba omabini la maqela akwazi ukudlala indima ekuphuhliseni isicwangciso sokunciphisa ingozi enokubakho kunye nokwenza utshintsho olongezelelekileyo kunye xa kufuneka njalo.
Le ndlela iya kunciphisa ukubanakho kwelinye icala livakalelwe ngokungathi utshintsho olwenzekileyo kunye nesicwangciso sokuhlengahlengisa kutshintsho lwenziwa "kubo" kunokuba "nabo."