Umxholo
Njengomcebisi wezempilo yengqondo yabantwana, ndibona iindlela ezininzi zeengcali kunye nabakhathaleli bezama ukukhuthaza abantwana babo. Ootitshala baqhubeka nokusebenzisa iitshathi zesitikha, kuvavanyo, kunye neenkqubo zenqanaba, ngethemba lokufumana isimilo esifanelekileyo. Abazali baphumeza umkhondo wokuziphatha, izibonelelo, kunye nokunyoba ezantsi ekunene, ngethemba lokuqhuba abantwana babo ukuba baphumelele. Nditsho ndibona iiphilisi zisebenzisa iilekese ukugcina abantwana begxile kwaye bekwindlela. Ukwaneliseka kwangoko komvuzo oqaqambileyo kunokusebenza kwixesha elifutshane, kodwa yenza oku Ngaphandle Izikhuthazi zibanceda ngokwenene abantwana bethu bakhulise inkuthazo kwaye baxhase ubuchule babo ekuhambeni kwexesha? Ngaba asifuni ukuba abantwana basondele kwingxaki ngenxa yovuyo olukhulu kunye neqhayiya lokukwazi ukuyisombulula kwaye bayisombulule, kunokuba bafumane umvuzo wangaphandle obanikwe omnye umntu? Sonke sizalwa sinalo ngaphakathi inkuthazo. Iintsana ziyakhuthazeka ukuba ziphakamise iintloko zazo, ziqengqe, zirhubuluze, kwaye ekugqibeleni zihambe; hayi ngenxa yenjongo yangaphandle, kodwa ngenxa yokuba beqhutywa sisibheno solawulo ngokwalo! Uphando lubonisa ngokubonelela ngenkuthazo yangaphandle, sibulala umoya wangaphakathi wabantwana wokuyila, ukuqhuba nokuzithemba ukuthatha umngcipheko. Uphononongo luka-2012 olwenziwe nguLee noReve okunene lufumanise ukuba inkuthazo inokuvela kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo zobuchopho, kuxhomekeke ekubeni iyangaphezulu okanye iyangena ngaphakathi. Inkuthazo yangaphakathi ivula i-cortex yangaphambili, apho iarhente yobuqu kunye nemisebenzi yolawulo yenzeka (ingqondo yethu yokucinga). Inkuthazo engaphandle inxulunyaniswa nendawo yengqondo apho ukungabikho kolawulo lomntu kugxile khona. Inkuthazo engaphandle iyinyani eyingozi kwimpumelelo ekusombululeni iingxaki!
Inkuthazo yangaphakathi
Kungenxa yenkuthazo yangaphakathi ekukhuleni kwendalo yabantwana, ukuzimela nokuzithemba, kwaye abantwana bafunda indlela yokwenza oko nyamezela. URichard M. Ryan kunye no-Edward L.Deci benze uphando olubanzi kuzo zombini iinjongo zangaphakathi nezangaphandle. Ngophando lwabo, baqinisekisile ithiyori yokuzimisela echaza ukuba eyona nto iphambili ekukhuthazeni inkuthazo yangaphakathi ibandakanya ukufaka ubuchule, ukuzimela, kunye ezinxulumene, okanye oko ndikubizayo uqhagamshelo. Oku kubalulekile ekukhuleni komntwana. URichard Rutschman weYunivesithi yaseMantla e-Illinois ufundisa ukuba ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zomntu ngokwengqondo kuyonyusa inkuthazo yangaphakathi, kukhokelela kwiingcinga ezilungileyo, kwaye kwandise ukudityaniswa kwe-neural okukhokelela ekufundeni ngokugqibeleleyo kunye nokomelela okungakumbi! Ziphosele ecaleni ezo tshathi zokuncamathela ecaleni kwaye ulandele ezi zikhokelo zomntwana oqhutywa ngakumbi kunye nenkuthazo!
UNGENZI
- Nika umvuzo: Gcina ilekese kwikhabhathi! URutschman ugxininisa ukuba "Ukunika abantu umvuzo wangaphandle ngokuziphatha okukhuthazayo ngaphakathi kujongela phantsi inkuthazo yabo kuba ithathwa njengokujongela phantsi ukuzimela kwabo."
- Vavanya: Unjingalwazi wezePsychology, uBeth Hennessey ubhala ukuba ukugxila kwimpumelelo yomntwana wakho kunokubangela ukuba umntwana wakho anikezele xa kunzima. Uvavanyo kunye noqwalaselo lootitshala luye luthande ukoyikisa intshukumisa yomntwana. "Endaweni yokuxhomekeka kwingxelo yootitshala, abafundi mabafundiswe ukujonga inkqubela yabo."
- Yenza ukhuphiswano: Ngelixa ukhuphiswano lunokuba sempilweni kwaye luqheleke kwezinye iimeko xa injongo ikwakha inkuthazo yangaphakathi, gcina umntwana wakho egxile ekukhuleni nakwizakhono zakhe. Ukhuphiswano luyindalo engaphaya kwendalo kwaye ngesiqhelo, umvuzo okanye ibhaso lilindele ophumeleleyo. Ukuziva uneentloni kunye nokungoneliseki nako kusengozini ukuba umntwana wakho akenzi ngokuhambelana neminye imigangatho.
- Thintela ukhetho: Ngokuthatha ithuba lomntwana lokuzikhethela, ususa iimvakalelo zakhe ukuzimela. Ujoliso luba ngaphezulu ekugqityeni injongo yakho kwaye kuncinci malunga nokufezekisa.
- Thintela ixesha: Ixesha luxinzelelo kwaye lushenxisa amandla omntwana wakho okucinga ngaphakathi kwaye ajolise koku nakwangoku. Umntwana wakho unokuba nexhala ngakumbi kwiwotshi yokuphawula kunendlela anokuphumelela ngayo ekusombululeni iingxaki. Ixesha elithintelweyo likhupha iihormones zoxinzelelo ezinokuthi zithintele amandla omntwana wakho ekwenzeni kangangoko anakho.
- Micromanage: Ukuhambahamba kunye nokugxeka yindlela eqinisekileyo yomlilo yokubulala ukuzithemba komntwana wakho kunye nobuchule bokuyila.
- Ukugqitywa kwamandla: Umyalezo othi "Akukho bantu baVumelekileyo" utshintsha ukugxila kukhuthazo, ukukukholisa.
YENZA
- Vumela ukusilela: Nxibelelana nomntwana wakho kwaye uvelane neemvakalelo eziza nokusilela. Emva koko, khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba azame kwakhona, kwaye kwakhona, kwaye kwakhona.
- Yincome imizamo yomntwana wakho: njengoko uvumela umntwana wakho ithuba kunye nexesha lokunyamezela. UDan Siegal wabelana ngencwadi yakhe ethi, The Developing Mind: How Relations Relations and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are, “... ayizizo zonke iintlanganiso zehlabathi ezichaphazela ingqondo ngokulinganayo. Izifundo zibonise ukuba ukuba ingqondo ibeka umcimbi "njengobalulekileyo", kuya kuba lula ukukhunjulwa kwikamva ". Ukuba sinika abantwana bethu i ixesha lokunyamezela, impumelelo yabo iya kuhlala ixesha elide kwaye ibhalwe kwimemori yabo, ibenze bazithembe kwizakhono zabo kwaye banakho ukukhuthazeka kwimisebenzi yexesha elizayo.
- Khuthaza ukusebenzisana. Ukuba yinxalenye yeqela kukhuthaza abantwana ukuba banxibelelane nabanye, babandakanyeke kungquzulwano, banxibelelane, kwaye basebenzisane ukusombulula ingxaki. Abantwana bakhuthazwa ngamava ekwabelwana ngawo kunye neemvakalelo zokufezekiswa kwiqela.
- Nika ukhethoKhuthaza ukuzimela kunye nokulinga ngokuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba abelane ngendlela aceba ukuyifeza ngayo injongo yakhe. UBeth Hennessey ubhala kwinqaku lakhe, "Ukukhuthaza ii-Creative Mindsets kuyo yonke inkcubeko-iBhokisi yezixhobo zootitshala", ukuba abantwana "mabakhuthazwe ukuba babe ngabafundi abakhutheleyo, abazimeleyo, abazithembileyo kubuchule babo bokulawula inkqubo yabo yokufunda."
- Yamkela umonde. Nika umntwana wakho amandla okuphuhlisa ubuchule obuza kuba nexesha lokuntywila kulomsebenzi unzima okanye ingxaki.
- Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba asombulule ezakhe iingxaki: Nceda umntwana wakho ngokuba nomdla ngeendlela ezahlukileyo zokumisela umsebenzi.
- Nika umntwana wakho inkululeko yokuzama izinto ezintsha: Ewe, nokuba oko kuthetha ukuba ufumanise ukuba ikarati ibingapholi njengoko ebecinga njalo ekuqaleni ... mhlawumbi ipiyano kukufowuna kwentliziyo yakhe!
Ngaphezu kwako konke, gcina ulindelo lwakho lusengqiqweni. Akukho mntu u-100% okhuthazayo ngalo lonke ixesha. Nabantu abadala baneentsuku apho inkuthazo kunye nemveliso iphantsi. Abantwana bethu abafani. Bafunda ukuba yintoni ebakhuthazayo kunye nengabenziyo. Kubalulekile ukubanika indawo kunye nexesha lokusebenza kwaye phumla ukuba yimisipha ekhuthazayo! Kuya kuba nzima ukutshintsha iindlela zakho ezikhuthazayo, kwaye akukho mzali ugqibelele. Sebenzisa izikhuthazi ezingaphandle kancinci kwaye ujonge kulwalamano lwakho kunye nonxibelelwano lwakho ukukhulisa ukukhula kobuchule bomntwana wakho kunye nokuzimela. Kungekudala ngokwaneleyo uya konwaba xa ubona umntwana wakho emisela kwaye azityhalele imida yakhe, efikelela kwiinkwenkwezi (ezingezizo ezincamathelayo)!