Umxholo
- Ngaba ukungaboni ngasonye kunokuchaphazela ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu?
- Kubudlelwane beplato
- Kubudlelwane bosapho
- Kubudlelwane bezothando
- Ke inceda njani okanye yenzakalise ubudlelwane?
Uninzi lwethu kufuneka ukuba luhlangabezane neemeko apho inyani yethu ingqubana nolindelo lwethu ebomini. Ukungqubana okunje kusenza singonwabi kwaye ke siye sithande ukulalanisa ngokwamkela inyani esingakhange siyithethele okanye siyitshintshe inkolelo yethu.
Umzekelo, uJohn Doe unokusebenzisa iziyobisi gwenxa nangona ekholelwa ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi akulunganga. Njengomphumo wokungangqinelani phakathi kwembono yakhe kunye nezenzo, uyasokola ngaphakathi. Ukunciphisa uxinzelelo lwengqondo, unokuthatha isigqibo phakathi kwezi ndlela zimbini zilandelayo:
- Yeka ukusebenzisa iziyobisi gwenxa kuba ichasene nenkolelo yakhe, okanye
- Yiyeke imbono yokuba ukusebenzisa kakubi iziyobisi akuyonto imbi kwaphela.
Iimeko ezinjalo zinokuzisa ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo njengoko umntu ezama ukuzithethelela ngezenzo zakhe. Le meko imicimbi sisiseko sethiyori ebizwa ngokuba yi-dissonance yolwazi ephakanyiswe sisazi ngengqondo uLeon Festinger ngo-1957.
Ngaba ukungaboni ngasonye kunokuchaphazela ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu?
Ukwahlukahlukana kwengqondo okuqondakalayo kwenzeka phantse kuzo zonke iintlobo zobudlelwane babantu- nokuba lolusapho, luyathandana, okanye yiplatonic.
Inokuchaphazela indlela esiziphatha ngayo okanye esenza ngayo, kwaye siqhubeke nokuthatha ubudlelwane bethu kwindlela eyahlukileyo enokuthi okanye ingabi sempilweni.
Kubudlelwane beplato
Xa abantu bengavumelani ngento ethile, nokuba basondele kangakanani, uxinzelelo luba khona. Isongela isingqi esinoxolo sobuhlobo babo. Ukusombulula ukungavisisani, elinye lamaqela abandakanyekayo likhetha ukungazihoyi izimvo zomnye okanye isenzo sakhe ukugcina uxinzelelo.
Umzekelo, uJane noBianca baba ngabahlobo abasenyongweni ukusukela ngaphambi kwesikolo. Emva kokuhamba ngeendlela zabo ezahlukeneyo ekholejini, ubuhlobo babo buphazamisekile ngenxa yeembono zabo ezichaseneyo zopolitiko. U-Bianca, njengomntu onqwenela umanyano noxolo, uthatha isigqibo sokuyeka ukuxoxa nomhlobo wakhe ngezihloko zopolitiko. Endaweni yoko uzikhawulela ekuxhaseni nasekukhuthazeni uJane kwiimeko apho ezopolitiko zingabandakanyekanga.
Omnye umzekelo, uMike ngumphengululi wophando okholelwa ngokunyanisekileyo kumalungelo oluntu kodwa akakholelwa kwi-euthanasia. Xa umphathi wakhe ohloniphekileyo ekhetha ukubulawa kwesifo ukuze aphelise umhlaza wakhe, uMike uphazamiseka engqondweni. Ukuthomalalisa uxinzelelo, uhlengahlengisa izimvo zakhe kwi-euthanasia, eqinisekisa ukuba kungcono kumphathi wakhe, kwaye lilungelo lakhe ukwenza njalo, ngapha koko.
Kubudlelwane bosapho
Yonke intsapho ijongene nesabelo sayo esifanelekileyo seengxaki.
Nokuba ungquzulwano luphakathi kwamanani wabazali okanye phakathi komzali nomntwana, omnye wabantu ababandakanyekayo unokuthatha isigqibo sokuhlengahlengisa ukuze iingxaki zisonjululwe.
Umzekelo, umama ozigcinayo ochasene nobufanasini ufunda ukuba unyana wakhe amthandayo ulifanasini. Ukugcina ukungaguquguquki ngaphakathi, unokuyijonga ngabom into yokuba unyana wakhe ulifanasini. Ngenye indlela, unokutshintsha uluvo lwakhe malunga nobufanasini ukuba amkele inyaniso malunga nesondo lonyana wakhe.
Kubudlelwane bezothando
Enye yezona zinto zixhaphake kakhulu apho ukungaboni ngasonye kwenzeka kubudlelwane bezothando, ngakumbi obunetyhefu okanye obuhlukumezayo- ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo.
Kwelinye icala uqhawulo-mtshato, ukungathembeki, kunye nokuxhatshazwa kunokuba ziziphumo zamalinge okusombulula ukungaboni ngasonye, ngelixa kwelinye icala uxolelo, ukwala, okanye inyani ekhethiweyo inokuba ziziphumo ezizezinye.
Umzekelo, uJack noCarrie bebethandana kwezi nyanga zintandathu zidlulileyo. Bonwabile isigaba sabo sasemva komtshato, becinga ukuba bayazi yonke into eyaziwayo malunga nabanye. Nangona kunjalo, uJack ngokungalindelekanga ubetha uCarrie ngexesha lomlo.
Oku kukhokelela kukungazami kwengqondo kuCarrie njengoko umbono wakhe weqabane lakhe ungqubana nezenzo zakhe ezingathandekiyo. Uyazi ukuba uyamthanda uJack, kodwa hayi ngezenzo zakhe. Ke uneendlela ezimbini ubuncinci zokusombulula uxinzelelo lwengqondo. Unokuphelisa ubudlelwane babo okanye alungelelanise isimilo sikaJack sokuxhaphaza 'njengesihlandlo esinye'.
Nangona sinokufumana imizekelo efanayo kwaye sihambe kwi-nauseum ye-ad, le mizekeliso ingentla yanele ukufumana umxholo wendlela esihlala sihamba ngayo.
Ke inceda njani okanye yenzakalise ubudlelwane?
Singagqiba kwelokuba ukungaboni ngasonye yimeko apho uthatha isigqibo sokucacisa isenzo sakho okanye isenzo sabanye ukuze ungquzulwano lwakho lwangaphakathi lucutheke kakhulu.
Njengoko isitsho njalo, yonke into inecala elingalunganga nelintle.
Ukungaqondani kakuhle kwengqondo kunokukwenzakalisa okanye kukuncede, nokuba kukodwa okanye ngumntu ophakathi kwakhe. Kuxhomekeke kwisigqibo sakho, unokukhula okanye unciphe njengomntu ngenxa yemiqobo ethile kunye nezithintelo ebomini. Ingomeleza okanye iqhawule ulwalamano lwakho nabanye. Inokukunceda ukuba uziqonde ngcono 'okanye ungakhathali.