Umxholo
- Yintoni ukhathalelo lomtshato?
- Kutheni kubalulekile ukhathalelo lomtshato?
- Yintoni onokuyilindela kukhathalelo lomtshato?
Uqhawulo-mtshato lwenzeka kakhulu kwezi ntsuku kwaye sonke siyazi ukuba kunzima kanjani hayi kwesi sibini kuphela kodwa nakwiintsapho zabo kwaye kunjalo-ngabantwana babo. Ngamanye amaxesha, uqhawulo-mtshato luyakutshintsha. Ingaba lelinye lawona mava abuhlungu umntu anokuhamba kuwo ngaphandle kwenkqubo ende neyindinisa, iifizi ezibizayo kunye nomceli mngeni wokuqalisa kwakhona - uzikhethela phi wena emva kwazo zonke ezi zilingo? Uqala phi ukuhlala ubomi bakho kwakhona? Kulapho ke kukhathalelwa uqhawulo-mtshato.
Ukuba awukayiva le nto ngaphambili, kuyinto elungileyo ukuqala ukuyiqonda ngoku.
Yintoni ukhathalelo lomtshato?
Ukuba ungumntu othile okanye wazi umntu owenza uqhawulo-mtshato ngokuqinisekileyo oko kuya kuba nomdla kuwe. Sonke siyayazi indlela amava obomi athile amtshintsha ngayo umntu ecaleni koxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo ekufuneka bejongane nalo suku ngalunye abaza kujongana ngalo noqhawulo mtshato. Njengokuba sahlukile, indlela yethu yokujongana noqhawulo-mtshato iya kwahluka nayo, yiyo loo nto kukho abantu abafumana ukuphazamiseka kwemithambo-luvo, abo batshintshayo baba kude, kwaye ngelishwa, abo bakhetha ukuthiya kunokuba bathande.
Inkathalo yoqhawulo mtshato senziwe ukunceda abantu bajongane nenyani enzima yoqhawulo mtshato. Liqela labantu abakhathalayo abajonge ukukuxhasa kunye nabantwana bakho ngexesha nasemva kwale nkqubo.
Aba bantu bayayazi indlela oziva ngayo kwaye ngekhe ugwebe. Kuyasebenza kuba wonke umntu ojongana noqhawulo mtshato ufuna inkxaso kwaye oku kuyakukugcina usempilweni kwaye womelele ngcono.
Ngamanye amaxesha, ixesha elilula lokuthetha nomnye umntu malunga neengcinga zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho ngaphandle kokugwetywa sele kuyinto enokusiphakamisa kwaye ukusuka apho, sinokuthi, "Ndingakwenza oku".
Kutheni kubalulekile ukhathalelo lomtshato?
Inkathalo yoqhawulo mtshato ibalulekile emntwini ofumana uqhawulo-mtshato okanye kubantwana ababanjwe phakathi. Njengoko aba bantu beqala ubomi babo kwakhona, kufuneka bakhe isiseko esomeleleyo. Kuya kwenzeka ntoni ukuba ubuphinda wakhe ubomi bakho ngawo onke amaqhekeza aqhekekileyo? Usenokomelela?
Yenza isiseko esomeleleyo ukuze uqhubeke. Yenza ilitye lokunyathela elingayi kutyumza nokuba unemithwalo enzima. Yakha isiseko esomeleleyo ukuze ungaphulukani namandla okuthemba kunye nothando. Zazi kwaye ube nakho ukwakha kwakhona oko kwakulahlekile ngenkxaso nothando lwabahlobo bakho kunye nosapho kwaye, ewe, ngokukhokelwa yiNkosi.
Yintoni onokuyilindela kukhathalelo lomtshato?
Ayinguwe wedwa onokuthi ufumane olu nyango okanye iiseshoni kodwa nabantwana bakho. Kuya kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba ukuphilisa kuya kuthatha ixesha kwaye akukho mfuneko yokuba uyingxame le nkqubo.
- Inkathalo yoqhawulo mtshato iya kukuvumela ukuba uqaphele ukuba yintoni ekwenza wonwabe kwaye yintoni eyona nto ibalulekileyo ebomini bakho. Khumbula ukuba ungaphulukana neqabane lakho kunye nezinye izinto kodwa usenazo izinto ezinkulu kunye nabantu abakungqongileyo.
- Ukulindelwa ebomini ikwayinxalenye yokuqhubeka kwenkqubo. Sihlala sidideka emva koqhawulo-mtshato. Kufana nokuba asisazi ukuba siqale ngaphi kwaye senze ntoni ngokulandelayo kodwa neqela lenkxaso. Ufunda into oza kujongana nayo kwixesha elizayo kwaye uzakulungela.
- Ukujongana nomsindo kunye nesizungu yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yeqela lenkxaso. Kuyakubakho ingqumbo nomsindo kodwa ayizukuma nawe kuba nabantwana bakho banokuba nenqala nabo. Esi sizathu sokuba ukhathalelo lomtshato lwabantwana luyafumaneka. Yikholwe okanye ungakholelwa, kuya kufuneka ujongane nezi mvakalelo kuba okukhona uzikhanyela okanye uzifihla, kokukhona ziya kukutya.
- Elinye icandelo elibalulekileyo lenkqubo yokuphilisa yindlela oza kubanyamekela ngayo abantwana bakho. Khumbula ukuba nabo baye bafumana amaxesha anzima kwaye mkhulu kubo kunokuba kunjalo kuwe. Ungabanyamekela njani ukuba awukwazi ukomelela?
- Indlela eya ekuqhubekeni nasekunyangeni iya kuthatha ixesha ukuze ungazinyanzeli. Uya kudibana neentsuku apho uya kuziva ulungile kwaye emva kweentsuku ezithile apho ubuhlungu buye buye buye khona. Ngeqela lokhathalelo loqhawulo-mtshato, umntu uye akhulule ezi mvakalelo ngendlela ezingagwetywa.
- Emva komtshato, uyaphi apho? Wenza ntoni ukubuyisa umva kusilelo lwezezimali? Ngoncedo lwabantu lokukuxhasa, nokuba oku kungathatha iinyanga okanye iminyaka, ukuba uyazi ukuba kukho abantu abazakubakhona kwaye unenjongo zakho ezibekiweyo kunye nezinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka- ungayenza le nto.
- Yikholwe okanye ungakholelwa, la maqela aya kuba lapha ukuze akuxhase nakwimfuno yakho yokukholelwa kuthando kwakhona kwaye ufumane omnye umntu oza kuba naye. Uqhawulo-mtshato alubuphelisi ubomi bethu, yinto ebuyela umva.
Zinokubakho iindlela ngeendlela onokuthi uzibuyise ngazo kuqhawulo mtshato. Ukuba awunazibonelelo kumaqela enkxaso, kusekho ezinye iindlela ezinje ngeencwadi zononophelo zoqhawulo-mtshato ezinokukunceda ubuncinci ujongane neemvakalelo neengcinga zakho.
Sukuba neentloni kwaye ubambe lonke ithuba onokuthi ulunge ngalo kwaye uqhawule umtshato. Ukwamkela lonke uncedo onokulufumana ayilophawu lobuthathaka kodwa ngumqondiso wokuba womelele ngokwaneleyo ukuba uzimisele ukudlulela phambili.
Ukuqhawula umtshato ngakumbi xa ungumzali akukaze kube lula kwaye ngelixa kunokusichaphazela ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, injongo yokhathalelo lomtshato ayitshintshi. Kulapha ukubonelela ngoncedo, indlebe ephulaphulayo, uncedo, kwaye uninzi lwenkxaso kubo bonke abo bantu kunye nabantwana ababonileyo ubunyani boqhawulo mtshato.