Umxholo
- 1. Ulwa ngamaxesha onke
- 2. Bayazingca
- 3. Bangumhlobo ombi
- 4. Ziyinto nje ecacileyo
- 5. Uziva ungenanto xa uphakathi kwabo
- 6. Uziva uthumbu
- 7. Banesimo sengqondo esibi
- 8. Uhlala usenza isingxengxezo ngabo
Ngaba uziva ulungile malunga nolwalamano lwakho okanye ngaba uzifumanisa usenza isimilo sokuziphatha kweqabane lakho amaxesha amaninzi kunokuba ungathanda ukuvuma?
Ngaba uyabagxotha abahlobo bakho malunga nendlela ekuphethe kakuhle ngayo iqabane lakho okanye ufumana ingcebiso kubo malunga nokuba kutheni ekuphethe kakubi kangaka?
Zonke izibini zinokungavisisani okanye zinokuthetha into ebuhlungu rhoqo emva kwexesha, kodwa oku akufuneki kube sisiseko kulwalamano lwakho. Iqabane lakho kufuneka likwenze uzive ulungile ngesiqu sakho. Kufuneka bakuxhase kwaye bakuhloniphe.
Kufuneka nizonwabise kunye. Ngapha koko, kuya kufuneka uzive ngaphezulu kwehlabathi xa ukunye nabo.
Ukuba ucinga ukuba ulwalamano lwakho alunakuvakala kude kulo mhlathi ungasentla, emva koko unokuthandana nomntu okhohlakeleyo.
Nazi iimpawu ezi-8 zokuxela ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bukhula buyityhefu kwaye kufuneka wenze ntoni ngayo:
1. Ulwa ngamaxesha onke
Bonke ubudlelwane bunamahla ndinyuka abo.
Zonke izibini zinokulwa ngamanye amaxesha okanye zidlula apho zingahambelani kakuhle. Oku kuqhelekile. Kukho amaxesha apho amaqabane aphilileyo aphula ukuthembana kwaye kufuneka asebenze ekwakheni ubudlelwane bawo.
Kodwa ezi kufuneka ibe zizihlandlo ezinqabileyo, hayi imicimbi yemihla ngemihla.
Ngaba uziva ngathi ukwi-roller coaster eyoyikisayo kunokuba ubambisene nomhlobo wakho osenyongweni? Ngaba uziva ubanjiwe kubudlelwane obuzele kukuhlala uphikisana okanye iqabane lakho likwenza ube ngumkhenkce ngaphandle kokuba ufuna ukuvuma?
Ukuba kunjalo, amathuba okuba uthandana nomntu okhohlakeleyo.
2. Bayazingca
Ulwalamano olusempilweni konke malunga nokunikela.
Unika omnye umntu ixesha lakho, amandla kunye nentliziyo yakho. Iinkxalabo zabo zizinto ezixhalabisayo. Unomdla kubo entliziyweni, rhoqo. Oku kukuziphatha kwesibini esithandweni.
Kwelinye icala, umntu ozingcayo ucinga kuphela malunga nokulungele yena. Unokuba uthandana nomntu okhohlakeleyo, ozingcayo ukuba:
- Ungaze ufune ukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo bakho
- Yala ukubona usapho lwakho, kwanezihlandlo ezizodwa
- Soloko ubeke iimfuno zabo ngaphambi kwezakho
- Abakwazi ukuvuma xa bengalunganga
- Rhoqo kukwenza uzive ngathi iimvakalelo zakho okanye iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu azikho semthethweni.
3. Bangumhlobo ombi
Kuqhelekile ukubeka intlebendwane kunye neqabane lakho rhoqo emva kwexesha, kodwa ukuba ufumanisa ukuba iqabane lakho lihlala linenkunkuma xa lithetha nabahlobo abasondeleyo kunye namalungu osapho, thatha oku njengeflegi enkulu ebomvu.
Kukangaphi iqabane lakho lisasaza intlebendwane eyenzakalisayo? Ngaba kubonakala ngathi bayazonwabela iimpazamo okanye amashwa abahlobo babo? Ngaba babeka isigxina esikhulu ekubonakaleni okanye baphume kwindlela yabo baye kwi-badmouth umntu?
Ukuthetha kakubi ngomnye umntu kuhlala kungumqondiso wokungazithembi. Nangona kunjalo, ukubeka phantsi abanye abantu luphawu oluqinisekileyo lokuba uthandana nejerk.
4. Ziyinto nje ecacileyo
Kuthetha ukuba abantu banovelwano oluncinci kwabanye.
Abakwazi ukunxibelelana nabo kwinqanaba leemvakalelo okanye baqonde izinto ngokwembono zabanye.
Ngaphezu koko, abafuni ukwandisa iingqondo zabo. Bancamatha ngenkani kwiimbono zabo ngaphandle kokuthathela ingqalelo abanye.
Iqabane elithethwayo lisenokungabi natyala kakhulu ngeziphoso. Basenokungathembeki kwaye bangacingi nto ngokukuxokisa.
Banokukusebenzisa ngesondo, imali, okanye amathuba.
5. Uziva ungenanto xa uphakathi kwabo
Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba ingaba uthandana nomntu okhohlakeleyo na, jonga oku. Ulwalamano olusempilweni kufuneka lukwenze uzive:
- Iyahlonitshwa
- Uyolo
- Iyaxhaswa
- Ndiyathandwa
- Ndithuthuzelekile
- Ndonwabile
- Ukuthuthuzela
- Kwaye kufanele ukuba kumnandi
Kwelinye icala, ubudlelwane obungenampilo buya kukwenza uzive:
- Yize
- Andiqinisekanga
- Akuncedi nto
- Ukungalingani kubudlelwane
- Ukudipha kukuzithemba
- Ukungalingani kothando
Ngaphaya koko, uphononongo lubonisa ukuba ukuxhatshazwa kubudlelwane kungakhokelela kumanqanaba aphezulu oxinzelelo kunye nokuziphatha kokuzibulala.
Ukuba uziva ungenanto kwaye ungenanto xa ukwiqabane lakho, yithathe njengophawu lokuba awuyifumani into oyifunayo kulwalamano lwakho. Ngapha koko, unokufumana ngokuchaseneyo ngqo nento oyifunayo.
6. Uziva uthumbu
Njalo, rhoqo, soloko uthembele kwimvelo yakho. Ukuba amathumbu akho akuxelela ukuba into ethile kubudlelwane bakho ayilunganga, mhlawumbi akunjalo.
Xa uthandana nomntu okhohlakeleyo, inokukushiya uziva ungenantanga okanye ungazinzanga ebomini bakho.
Uyakuva bipolar, ngeemvakalelo zakho ukusuka phezulu ukuya kuxinzelelo olusezantsi kwiflip yeswitshi.
Ukuba uhlala ubuza ngolwalamano lwakho, uzibuza ukuba ufanele uhlale na, okanye unokrokrela ukuba ubuhlobo bakho abuzange bube njalo- landela impumlo yakho.
7. Banesimo sengqondo esibi
Unxibelelwano ngoyena ndoqo kulwalamano oluhlala luhleli nolonwabisayo. Yindlela esombulula ngayo ingxaki yesibini, sazane kwinqanaba elinzulu kunye nokuphuhlisa ubuhlobo.
Olunye uphawu lokuba uthandana nomntu okhohlakeleyo kukuba iqabane lakho liyala ukunxibelelana nawe.
Banokuba neenkani okanye babe nobutshaba ngokuthe ngqo ukuba uzama ukuthetha nabo malunga nento abayenzileyo ekukhathazileyo okanye ekukhathazayo.
Umntu okhohlakeleyo akazukucela uxolo, akanamdla wokuqonda umbono wakho, kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba asebenzise impikiswano njengesizathu sokukujongela phantsi kunokuba usombulule umba osondeleyo.
8. Uhlala usenza isingxengxezo ngabo
Ngaba ufumanisa ukuba uthetha amabinzana anjengokuthi “Wayengathethi lonto, akaziva nje kamnandi ngokuhlwanje” okanye “Unengxaki nosapho lwakhe, ebengazimiselanga ukukhupha kum” xa ethetha iqabane lakho?
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba uhlala usenza izizathu zokuziphatha kwabo gwenxa, kungalixesha lokuba uvume ukuba awuthandani nomntu olungileyo.
Ubudlelwane kufuneka bube mnandi. Bamele bakwakhe, bangakudilizi. Ukuba uthandana nomntu okhohlakeleyo, lixesha lokuba uzimele.
Ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bujike baba yityhefu kwaye awuqinisekanga ukuba ungaphuma njani kubo, tsalela umnxeba kule nombolo ilandelayo: Tsalela umnxeba kule nombolo ilandelayo: