Umxholo
Kuhlala kukho umngcipheko obalulekileyo obandakanyekayo xa ushiya ubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo, obukhulisa ngokubonakalayo xa abantwana bebandakanyekile. Kwabanye, ukushiya umxhaphazi wabo kuphelisa ukuxhatshazwa. Kulabo babelana ngabantwana kunye, libali elahluke ngokupheleleyo.
Kumazwe amaninzi, isigqibo esiqhelekileyo malunga nexesha lokuba ngumzali kunye nokwenza uxanduva kubazali abagqiba ukwahlukana kukuba bobabini abazali basondele kwixesha elilinganayo lokuba ngumzali kwaye bobabini abazali babelana ngoxanduva lokuthatha izigqibo ngokulinganayo.
Uxanduva lokuba ngumzali lubandakanya izinto ezifana nokuba umntwana ufunda phi, zithini iinkqubo zonyango kwaye ngubani, lufundiswa ntoni umntwana, kwaye yeyiphi imisebenzi yangaphandle ayenzayo.
Kwithiyori, ezi ndidi zezigqibo zibonakala ngathi zezona zilungele umntwana, zivumela bobabini abazali ukuba babelane ngefuthe labo ekukhuliseni abantwana. Xa ubundlobongela basekhaya bebukho kubudlelwane babazali, izigqibo ezinje ngezi zivumela ukuba uxhatshazo luqhubeke.
Yintoni ubundlobongela basekhaya?
Ubundlobongela basekhaya abubandakanyi kuphela ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni kweqabane elisenyongweni, kodwa kubandakanya izinto ezininzi zobudlelwane, apho amandla nolawulo zisetyenziselwa ukuphatha nokugcina amandla kwiqabane elinye.
Ezinye iindlela zokuphathwa gadalala kukusebenzisa abantwana ukugcina ulawulo, njengokusongela ukuthatha abantwana okanye ukusebenzisa abantwana ukudlulisela imiyalezo komnye umzali; ukusebenzisa ukuxhatshazwa kwezoqoqosho njengokungavumeli iqabane elinye ukuba lazi malunga okanye lifikelele kwimali engenayo yosapho okanye linike isibonelelo kunye nokulindela iirisithi zazo zonke izinto ezithengwayo; ukusebenzisa ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo njengokubeka elinye iqabane lakho phantsi, ukubenza bazive bephambene okanye ukubenza bazive benetyala ngokuziphatha okungafanelekanga komnye umntu; usebenzisa izoyikiso kunye nokunyanzela ukwenza elinye iqabane liyeke iintlawulo okanye lenze izinto ezingekho mthethweni.
Ngokusekwe kwiindlela ezahlukeneyo iqabane elinye linokugcina amandla kunye nolawulo kubudlelwane, bobabini akufuneki bahlale kunye ukuze baphathwe gadalala. Ukuba iqabane elihlukumezekileyo libe nokunxibelelana neengxoxo malunga nokuba bangamkhulisa njani umntwana (abantwana) kunye nomxhaphazi lowo kuye kumvulele ithuba lokuqhubeka nokuphathwa gadalala.
Ngendlela enobulali, iqabane elixhaphazayo linokungavumelani nezigqibo malunga nokuba umntwana makafunde kwesiphi isikolo kwaye asebenzise esi sigqibo ukukhohlisa omnye umzali ukuba anike enye into ayifunayo; iintsuku ezithile zobuzali, utshintsho kulowo ubonelela ngezothutho kubani, njl.
Iqabane elihlukumezayo linokungamvumeli umntwana ukuba afumane ukhathalelo lwempilo yengqondo okanye ingcebiso (ukuba kukho isigqibo esenziwe ngokudibeneyo, abanyangi kufuneka bafumane imvume kubo bobabini abazali) ukuze iinkcukacha zabo ezingachasananga kungabelwana ngazo kunyango.
Rhoqo, nokuba alukho udushe lwasekhaya, abazali basebenzisa abantwana babo ukuthumela imiyalezo evela komnye umzali ukuya komnye okanye bathethe kakubi ngomzali ochasene naphambi kwabantwana babo.
Xa ubundlobongela basekhaya bukhona, iqabane elihlukumezayo linokuzibaxa izinto, lixokise abantwana balo ngomnye umzali, lenze abantwana bakholelwe ukuba omnye umzali uyaphambana, kwaye kwiimeko ezigabadeleyo kubangela ukungabikho komzali kubazali.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Iziphumo zobundlobongela basekhaya ebantwaneni
Kutheni ingapheli?
Ke, uxhobe ngalo lonke olu lwazi, kutheni abazali abanembali yobundlobongela basekhaya banikwa uxanduva lokwenza izigqibo ngama-50-50? Ewe, nangona kukho imigaqo evumela abagwebi ukuba badlule kwi-50-50, amaxesha amaninzi iijaji zifuna ukugwetyelwa ubundlobongela basekhaya ukusebenzisa ummiselo ukwenza izigqibo.
Kwakhona, ngokwethiyori oku kuyavakala. Ukuziqhelanisa, ngokusekwe kwinto esiyaziyo malunga nobundlobongela basekhaya, ayizukukhusela abo bafuna olona khuseleko. Amaxhoba obundlobongela basekhaya awaxeli emapoliseni okanye alandelele ukugcwalisa izityholo ngezizathu ezininzi.
Baye boyikiswa kwaye boyikiswa kaninzi, kwaye bakholelwa ekubeni ukuba bayakuxela oku kwenzekayo kubo, uxhatshazo olo luza kuya lusiba mandundu (oko kuyinyani amaxesha amaninzi).
Baye baxelelwa ukuba akukho mntu uzakubakholelwa, kwaye amaxhoba amaninzi afumana imibuzo kunye nokungakholelwa kunyanzeliso lomthetho kwaye abuzwa umbuzo onzima, "Kutheni ungahambi nje?" Ke, kukho uninzi lwamatyala kwinkundla yosapho, apho kukho ubundlobongela basekhaya, mhlawumbi kuye kwaxelwa, kodwa akuqwalaselwa xa kusenziwa ixesha lokuba ngumzali kunye nezinye izigqibo ezibalulekileyo. Kwaye, uxhatshazo luyaqhubeka.
Izisombululo
Ukuba uyasokola ukuba ngumzali kunye nomxhaphazi wakho, eyona nto unokuyenza kukugcina imida yakho, ukwakha uthungelwano lwenkxaso, ukugcina irekhodi lakho konke, kunye nokugcina iimfuno zabantwana bakho kwindawo ephambili engqondweni.
Kukho iiarhente ezinikele ukuxhasa amaxhoba obundlobongela basekhaya, ezinye zisenokuba noncedo lwezomthetho xa kufuneka njalo.
Fikelela kunyangi ukuba imeko iziva inzima kakhulu ukuyisingatha okanye ukuba awukwazi ukugcina imida ebekwe kumyalelo wenkundla. Nangona le yindlela enzima ukuhamba, awudingi ukuhamba wedwa.