Umxholo
Kwakusebusuku, bobabini uHenry noMarnie babediniwe; UMarnie wathathela phezulu wayenqwenela ukuba uHenry ancede ekuhlambeni abantwana endaweni "yokukhohlisa ekhompyutheni yakhe." Ngokukhawuleza uHenry wazikhusela, wathi wayequkumbela into ethile emsebenzini, kwaye ngaphandle kokuba xa enceda abantwana uMarnie uhlala ejonge ngaphezulu kwegxalaba lakhe. Impikiswano yaba mbi kwaye inomsindo ngokukhawuleza, uHenry egxadalala walala kwigumbi lokulala elilelinye.
Ngentsasa elandelayo, badibana ekhitshini. “Uxolo malunga phezolo.” "Nam futhi." “Siyaphila?” "Ngokuqinisekileyo." "Wanga?" "Kulungile." Benza ubuso. Bayigqibile. Kukulungele ukuqhubela phambili.
Kodwa hayi, azigqitywanga. Ngelixa banokuba noxinzelelo lwamanzi ngokwasemphefumlweni, into abangakhange bayenze kukubuyela umva malunga nokuthetha ngeengxaki. Oku kwezinye iindlela kuyaqondakala- boyika ukuba ukuphinda ubuye nesihloko kwakhona kuya kuqala enye impikiswano. Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ekukhanyeni kwemini, impikiswano yobusuku bokugqibela ibingeyonto ibalulekileyo kodwa bobabini ukuba cranky kunye novakalelo kuba babediniwe kwaye bexinekile.
Ukutshayela iingxaki phantsi kombhoxo
Kodwa kufuneka balumke bangasebenzisi olo hlobo lokucinga njengokusilela kwabo. Ukutshayela iingxaki phantsi kombhoxo kuthetha ukuba iingxaki azisombululeki, kwaye bahlala bekulungele ukutshaya ngexabiso elifanelekileyo lokudinwa ebusuku, okanye intwana yotywala. Kwaye ngenxa yokuba iingxaki zingasonjululwanga, ingqumbo yakha ke xa impikiswano isenza ubuqaqawuli, kulula ukuba iphume kwiiporo ngokukhawuleza; kwakhona bayityhalela ezantsi, beqhubela phambili ukujikeleza okungapheliyo.
Indlela yokumisa umjikelo, ewe, kukuchasana nethuku lakho, yonyuka, utyhalele uxinzelelo lwakho, kwaye uthathe umngcipheko wokuthetha ngengxaki kamva xa iimvakalelo zithambile. Oku kujikeleza umva, okanye oko uJohn Gottman akubize kuphando lwakhe kwizibini, ukubuya nokulungisa. Ukuba akwenzi njalo, kulula kakhulu ukusebenzisa umgama ukunqanda ungquzulwano; ukusondelelana kulahlekile ngenxa yokuba nobabini nisoloko niziva ngathi nihamba kwiindawo zam zeemvakalelo kwaye aninakho ukuvuleka nokunyaniseka.
Ngethamsanqa, uninzi lwethu luyakwazi ukwenza oko kujikeleza lubuyele kolunye ubudlelwane ngaphandle kwabathandanayo. Ukuba umntu esisebenza naye kwintlanganiso yabasebenzi ubonakala ecaphukile ngamazwi esiwathethisileyo, uninzi lwethu luyakwazi ukuya kuye emva kwentlanganiso kwaye sixolise ngokulimaza iimvakalelo zakhe, sichaze iinjongo zethu kunye nezinto ezisixhalabisayo, kwaye sijongane neengxaki ezinokubakho. Kubudlelwane obusondeleyo konke oku kuya kusiba nzima ngakumbi ngenxa yokubaluleka kobudlelwane, ukuvuleka kwethu kunye nokugada kancinci, ngenxa yokuvuselelwa ngokulula kwamanxeba amadala obuntwana.
Ungarhangqa njani emva?
Indawo yokuqala yokujikeleza umva kukuzama ukwamkelwa kwishishini elinye, ukusombulula ingxaki. Kulapho uHenry athi emva kokuwola ukuba usengathanda ukuthetha ngokunceda uMarnie kunye nabantwana ngexesha lokulala kunye neemvakalelo zakhe zokulawulwa. Akukho mfuneko yokuba sithethe ngoku xa singxamele ukulungiselela umsebenzi, utshilo, kodwa mhlawumbi kusasa ngoMgqibelo ngelixa abantwana bebukele iTV. Oku kunika uMarnie, kunye noHenry ixesha lokuqokelela iingcinga zabo.
Kwaye xa bedibana ngoMgqibelo, bafuna ukwamkela ezo ngqondo-zinengqondo ezinje ngengqondo yokuba baya kuba nomsebenzi. Bobabini kufuneka bagxile ekusombululeni iingxaki abanazo macala onke, kwaye kuthintele ukutyibilika ezingqondweni zabo ngokweemvakalelo nokukhusela isikhundla sabo kunye nokuphikisana ngokuba ngubani olungileyo. Ngokuqinisekileyo kufuneka bayigcine imfutshane- yithi isiqingatha seyure- ukubanceda baqhubele phambili kwaye bangabuyeli kwixesha elidlulileyo. Kwaye ukuba iba shushu kakhulu, kufuneka bavume ukuyeka kwaye bapholise.
Ukuba oku kubonakala kunzima kakhulu, banokuzama ukubhala iingcinga. Uncedo apha kukuba banexesha lokuyila iingcinga zakho, kwaye banokubandakanya kunye nokususa oko bacinga ukuba omnye unokucinga ngako. Apha uHenry uthi akazami ukugxeka uMarnie, kwaye akakuxabisi konke akwenzela abantwana. Apha uMarnie uthi uyayiqonda into yokuba uHenry kufuneka akhangele ii-imeyile zakhe ebusuku ukuze asebenze, kwaye oko akuthethi ukuba uza kuba ngumlawuli omkhulu kodwa unendlela yakhe nabantwana kwaye kunzima ukubayeka. Bobabini banokufunda oko omnye akubhalileyo, kwaye badibane ukuze baxazulule isisombululo esisebenzayo kubo bobabini.
Ukucebisa njengenye indlela
Okokugqibela, ukuba zishukunyiswa ngokulula kwaye ezi ngxoxo zinzima kakhulu, banokufuna ukwenza nokuba kukufutshane ukululekwa. Umcebisi unokunika indawo ekhuselekileyo yengxoxo, angabanceda bafunde izakhono zonxibelelwano kwaye babone xa incoko isiya-ikhosi kwaye ubancede bayibuyisele emgceni. Unokude abuze imibuzo enzima malunga nemicimbi enokubakho eyinxalenye yengxaki yephazili.
Kwaye ukucinga malunga noku njengezakhono zobuchule kuluncedo kwaye kunempilo. Okokugqibela ayisiyongamaxesha okulala okanye ngubani onetyala, kodwa thina, njengesibini, sifunde njani ukuba neengxoxo ezifanayo, zokuxazulula iingxaki ezibavumela ukuba baviwe, baziva beqinisekisiwe kwaye iinkxalabo zisonjululwe ngendlela elungileyo .
Iingxaki zihlala zihlala zivela, kodwa ukubanakho ukuzibeka ekuphumeni sisitshixo kwimpumelelo yobudlelwane.