Umxholo
- 1. Thatha ixesha lakho
- 2. Yenza uluhlu
- 3. Nxibelelana kwakhona nenkqubo yakho yenkxaso
- 4. Yiya ucotha kwezothando
- 5. Nxibelelana neqabane lakho
- 6. Umlingane wakho ayinguye ex yakho
- 7. Zithembe iimvakalelo zakho
- 8. Guqula imbono yakho
Ubudlelwane busichaphazela kwinqanaba elinzulu, ke ayothusi into yokuba xa ubudlelwane buhamba gwenxa, bunokwenza kube nzima ukuba sesichengeni somntu omtsha kwaye uqale ukwakha ukuthembana emva kobudlelwane obubi kwangoko. Xa iqabane lisophula ukuthembana kwakho okanye lingcatsha ngokungathembeki kunokwenza kube nzima ukubeka ukholo lwakho kwiqabane elithandanayo. Unokuphuhlisa imiba yokuthembela ngelixa usachacha kubudlelwane obubi.
Ukufumana kwakhona ubudlelwane obuyityhefu yeyona nto unokuzenzela yona. Kodwa ukushiya iqabane elinetyhefu kunokukwenza uzive ulumkile malunga nokuqala ubudlelwane obutsha. Nokuba ufuna ukuthanda nokumthemba omnye umntu, ukuyenza yenzeke ngathi kukulwa.
Ukufunda ukuthembela kwakhona emva kobudlelwane obubi kunokuzama amaqabane omabini, kodwa ngomzamo omncinci, unokuba nolwalamano olutsha olunempumelelo. Sukuvumela into eyenzeke kwixesha elidlulileyo ichaphazele ubudlelwane bakho bexesha elizayo.
Kodwa, uyakha njani intembelo kubudlelwane kwakhona? Nanga amanyathelo ayi-8 okwakha ukuthembana emva kobudlelwane obubi.
1. Thatha ixesha lakho
Ukushiya ubudlelwane obubi kunzima, kodwa ukwakha ukuthembana emva kobudlelwane obubi bunzima. Ezi ntlobo zamaqabane zinokonakalisa i-ego yakho, impilo yakho yengqondo, kunye nokukwazi kwakho ukuthembela. Kububulumko ukuthatha ixesha ngokwakho emva kokuphuma kubudlelwane obubi ngaphambi kokulandela omnye umdla wothando.
Ukuthatha ixesha lakho kukunika ithuba lokuzazi. Ungalisebenzisa eli xesha ukukhathaza ulwalamano lwakho oludlulileyo, ukuqala umdlalo, ukunxibelelana nabahlobo kwakhona, ukuhamba, ukugxila kwikhondo lomsebenzi wakho, okanye ukusebenzisa nje ixesha ukuphumla.
2. Yenza uluhlu
Ngoku ukuba ulwalamano olubi, uyazi ngcono into oza kuyenza kwaye ongayi kuyinyamezela kubudlelwane obutsha obuya phambili.
Uninzi lukufumanisa kuluncedo ukwenza uluhlu lweempawu ezintle abanokuthanda ukuzibona kwiqabane elithandanayo elizayo kunye noluhlu lweendlela zokuziphatha, imikhwa, kunye neempawu ongayi kuzinyamezela kumntu.
3. Nxibelelana kwakhona nenkqubo yakho yenkxaso
Ukugcina ubudlelwane bakho nabahlobo kunye nosapho kunokuba nzima xa usebudlelwaneni obubi. Umntu wakho wangaphambili unokuthatha ixesha lakho elininzi, elikukhuphele ngaphandle kwinkqubo yakho yenkxaso. Oku kuqhelekileyo kubudlelwane obunetyhefu kuba inyanzela ukuba uxhomekeke ngokupheleleyo kwi-ex yakho.
Ngoku ukuba ukhululekile kwimpembelelo yabo embi, lixesha lokuba uphinde unxibelelane nabantu obathandayo. Obu budlelwane buya kukunceda uphile ekwahlukaneni kwakho, kwaye buya kukufundisa ukuba kukho abantu abathembekileyo phaya ngaphandle ukuze uqhubele phambili ngokulula ungakha ukuthembana kubudlelwane obutsha.
Baza kusebenza njengenkqubo yenkxaso eyomeleleyo ukukubona kuzo naziphi na iimvavanyo ezinokuvela ebomini bakho.
4. Yiya ucotha kwezothando
Kungenxa yokuba ungatshatanga ngoku akuthethi ukuba kuya kufuneka ungene kulwalamano olutsha. Ukuba awukakulungeli ukuba kubudlelwane, sukulandela umntu njengesaphulelo. Akulunganga kuwe, kwaye akulunganga ukutyumzwa kwakho.
Xa ukulungele ukuba nomntu omtsha, thatha ixesha lakho. Ukwakha ukuthembana emva kobudlelwane obubi kunokuthatha iinzame eziphindaphindiweyo namaqabane ahlukeneyo ngaphambi kokuba ufumane umntu onokuthi uzimisele naye. Lumka neqabane lakho elitsha kwaye usebenzise intloko kunye nentliziyo yakho de ube uyakwazi ukubathemba.
5. Nxibelelana neqabane lakho
Nokuba uqala ubudlelwane obutsha okanye sele uneminyaka nomntu, unxibelelwano luya kuba sesona sixhobo sibalulekileyo sokugcina ubudlelwane obusempilweni. Ukuba uqala ubudlelwane obutsha, kuya kufuneka unxibelelane ngokukhululekileyo neqabane lakho malunga nobudlelwane bakho bokugqibela.
Baxelele ukuba bakuphathe njani iqabane lakho, ukuba likwenze waziva njani, kwaye uchaze ngokunyanisekileyo kwiqabane lakho malunga nendlela onokubangelwa ngayo kukuziphatha okanye amabinzana athile okwethutyana.
Ukuvuleka malunga nemicimbi yakho yokuthembana kuya kunceda iqabane lakho lisebenze nawe ekuncedeni ukwakha ukuthembana kunye nesiseko esomeleleyo kubudlelwane bakho endaweni yokusebenza ngokuchasene nawe.
6. Umlingane wakho ayinguye ex yakho
Ukuba ufuna ukufunda ukwakha ukuthembana emva kobudlelwane obubi, kuya kufuneka uzikhumbuze ukuba iqabane lakho ayiloqabane lakho langaphambili. Abenzanga nto ukwenza ukuba ubuze ukunyaniseka kwabo okanye uthando lwabo kuwe.
Le yinyani yokuba kuya kufuneka ungene kwingqondo yakho amaxesha amaninzi kwaye ufunde ngeendlela zokuthemba umntu kubudlelwane phambi kwentloko yakho kwaye nentliziyo yakho ibona izinto ngendlela efanayo.
7. Zithembe iimvakalelo zakho
Ukuba ufuna ukufunda indlela yokwakha ukuthembana emva kobudlelwane obubi kufuneka ufunde indlela yokuzithemba kuqala. Ulwalamano olubi aluhlali luqala ngaloo ndlela. Ekuqaleni, unokonwaba kakhulu neqabane lakho. Usenokucinga ukuba zilungile kuwe. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwexesha ubudlelwane baba yityhefu kuni nobabini.
Ngexesha lobutyhefu kubudlelwane bakho, ubunokuba nesisu uziva ngathi kukho into engalunganga. Khange uyithande indlela obuphathwe ngayo okanye wavuma ukuba indlela obukwabelana ngayo ayiphilanga. Usenokuba ungazihoyanga ezi mvakalelo zesisu kuba ufuna ukugcina ubudlelwane.
Ngeli xesha ujikeleze, funda ukuthembela kwiimvakalelo zakho zesisu kwaye uqhubele phambili kumoya wakho. Ukuba kukho into engaziva ilungile, biza iqabane lakho kuyo. Ngeli xesha, jonga ingqalelo kwiiflegi ezibomvu.
Kwelinye icala, ukuba isisu sakho sikuxelela ukuba iqabane lakho elitsha likufanele ukuthembela kuwe, hamba nalo. Musa ukubohlwaya ngeempazamo zeqabane elidlulileyo ukuba akukho sizathu salo.
8. Guqula imbono yakho
Ukuba uhlala uzixelela ukuba onke amabhinqa axokile okanye onke amadoda ayaqhatha, ungaqala ukukholelwa. Ukuba ufuna ukufunda ukuthemba umntu omtsha, kuya kufuneka utshintshe indlela ojonga ngayo ubudlelwane. Sukuvumela i-apile elinye ukuba lonakalise lonke iqela, nokuba la apile lalibolile ngokukodwa.
Vumela iqabane lakho elitsha likubonise ukuba bangabantu abanokuthenjwa kwaye banomdla wakho engqondweni.
Indlela oziphethe ngayo kubudlelwane obunetyhefu inokukushiya uziva ungathembi iqabane elitsha, kodwa ngaba ungafunda ukuthembela kwiqabane lakho emva kobudlelwane obungaphumelelanga?
Impendulo yalo mbuzo ilula ngokwenene. Ngokwenza ixesha lakho, unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo neqabane elitsha, kunye nomonde omninzi unokufunda ukwakha ukuthembana emva kobudlelwane obubi.