Umxholo
- 1. Izimvo ezizodwa zomhla wokuthandana
- 2. Yiba ngokungaguquguqukiyo
- 3. Akukho sidingo sokuba ubize okanye ugqithise
- 4. Cwangcisa ukuhamba ubusuku bonke
Ngaba ufuna imibono ekhuthazayo kunye neyokwenyani yokwenza ukuba umthandi wakho anyibilike? Sukujonga phambili!
Iingcali zabelana ngokugqwesileyo ngeengcebiso zazo kwimihla engakholekiyo yezimvo kwizibini ezitshatisayo ukuze zibaswe yintlantsi yobudlelwane.
Nokuba uhlala ixesha elingakanani ne-bae yakho, kuthatha umsebenzi ukugcina inkanuko kunye nentlantsi iphila kubudlelwane. Ukomeleza ulwalamano lwakho ufuna imibono yokuyila yothando ukuba uthi "Ndiyakuthanda" kunye neepensile kubusuku bomhla oqhelekileyo kunye nezinye zakho ezibalulekileyo.
Ngumbono olungileyo ukucwangcisa imihla yakho kwaye uyibeke kwikhalenda, ngaphambi kwexesha ukunqanda ukuzaliswa komzuzu wokugqibela.
Khanyiswa ngezi zimvo zithandekayo zomhla wokuthandana kwabantu abatshatileyo!
1. Izimvo ezizodwa zomhla wokuthandana
Wonke umntu unemibono yakhe eyahlukileyo kwizinto ezinokubenza bazive bebodwa.
Nazi ezinye zeengcinga:
- Abanye bathanda ukunxiba isidlo sangokuhlwa kwindawo yokutyela ephezulu edolophini.
- Ukumangaliswa yinto engekho kwiitshathi ezinjengokuhlala ubusuku bonke okanye ukuqhuba unokubhenela abanye.
- Kwaye kukho abo banokukhetha ezincinci kodwa njengezimbo zomzimba ezifana nepikniki kwigumbi lokuhlala phantsi ngokukhanya kwekhandlela.
- Ukuhamba emva kwemini kwindalo, emahlathini, ujikeleze ichibi okanye ezinye iindawo ngombono kunokuba yitikiti nje.
Nokuba ungabonakala njani owona mhla, kodwa uya kuphumelela ukuba bobabini baziva bekhethekile, bebeka phambili kwaye bekhathalelwe ngandlela thile.
Kunokuba luncedo ukubuza ukuba iqabane lakho okanye uthando luyakufumana njani uthando. Khumbula ukuba abantu baziva bethandwa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo.
U-Lisa Brookes Kift, uMtshato kunye noNyango lweeNtsapho
2. Yiba ngokungaguquguqukiyo
Ah, ukuthandana, khumbula emva xa ninayo loo nto?
Rhoqo, njengoko ixesha lihamba, siyaphazamiseka ebomini, sikhululekile ebomini bethu, siwela emgaqweni.
Nazi izimvo zam zothando ezingqiniweyo zomtshato kwizibini ezitshatileyo zokubuyisa uthando ababenalo ukuqala kwabo ukuthandana.
Emva kweminyaka engaphezu kwama-20 sikunye, umyeni wam kwaye silugcinile uthando luphilile ngokwenza iveki nganye-nganye kunye kube yinto ephambili.
Nazi iingcebiso zam ezithandekayo kwizibini ezitshatileyo:
- Yiba nengoma yesandi: Umculo unamandla. Yenza uluhlu lokudlala lwababini kuphela. Iyakuseta imood kwaye ibe ngumyalezo ofihlakeleyo phakathi kwezibini zakho. Okwangoku umyeni wam edlala ingoma kuluhlu lwethu lwadlalwayo ndiye ndincume kwangoko kwaye ndicinge ngobusuku bethu bomhla!
- Phuma endlini: Nokuba yeyure kuphela, kanye ngeveki shiya indlu kunye. Emva kosuku olude emsebenzini, kunzima ukuyeka kwaye ujonge ukuthandana ekhaya nazo zonke iziphazamiso.
- Buyela apho uqale khona: Xa benikunye kunye ithutyana ungangena ngokulula. Yenze ibeyinjongo yakho ukuza neendlela "zokukhumbula nini" kwaye ubuyise ukubuyela kwintlantsi.
- Phinda imihla yakho yokuqala: Ufuna ukukhumbula ukuba kwakulungile kangakanani na ngaphambili? Phinda enye yemihla yakho yangaphambili kwaye ukhumbule malunga namaxesha amnandi.
- Yiba ngumkhenkethiIndawo ibonwa kunye kwidolophu yakho- zama ukuhamba, ukuhamba ngeebhayisikile, kunye nokhenketho lweesigway. IGroupon yindawo elungileyo yeengcinga zasekhaya kunye nezaphulelo. Isixeko ngasinye sinembali kunye neziganeko abahlali abalibaleyo okanye abangazange bazazi.
- Thatha ukhenketho lweyure eyonwabileyo: Ufuna ezahlukeneyo? Ukutyelela iiyure ezonwabileyo malunga nedolophu. Zama indawo yokutyela eyahlukileyo veki nganye okanye ufumane into oyithandayo kwaye u-odole into entsha ixesha ngalinye.
- Zimasa iikonsathi: Buyisa olo thando lothando ngokukhumbula iifandi zakho zangaphambili. Amaninzi amaninzi ahlanganisene okanye akayeki ukhenketho.
- Fumana umdlalo wakho: Ukubhowula, ukudlala igalufa okuncinci, iphuli yokudubula, ukunyuka amatye, zimbono ezimbalwa zokuzonwabisa ezingezizo ezolutsha kunye namashumi amabini, kodwa baya kuqinisekisa ukuba uziva ngathi ungaphezulu kwaye bakulungele ukuvumela incoko.
- Khwela inqwelo yegalufa: Kukho into yokuthandana ngokuhamba ngokukhululeka kwibala legalufa-lihle, livulekile kwaye lithule-lilungele ukuthandana.
UVictorya Michaels Rogers, uMqeqeshi wothando kunye noBomi
3. Akukho sidingo sokuba ubize okanye ugqithise
Kukho ubungqina bokuxhasa ukuba ukwenza izinto ezintsha kunye nokwabelana ngeziganeko kunye kukhupha imichiza elungileyo enje nge-oxytocin enxulunyaniswa neemvakalelo ezinkulu zolonwabo kunye nolonwabo.
Nazi ezinye izimvo:
- Ukunambitha iwayini okanye ubugcisa bokwenza ibhiya
- Ukunyuka intaba, ukunyuka amatye, nantoni na enembono yendalo iya kusebenza!
- Iklasi yokupheka, ipeyinti, iiseramikhi-fumana izandla zakho zingcolile.
- Yiya kwintengiso yomfama okanye umboniso wesitalato kwindawo ethile yedolophu ongazange ube kunye kuyo.
- Amakhonsathi asimahla epakini
Ezi zimvo nje ezimbalwa ukuze uqalise.
Inqaku kukukrola ngaphandle kokuphazanyiswa, iselfowuni simahla ixesha elichithwe ukhumbuza iqabane lakho ukuba mnandi, umdla, kwaye unethamsanqa lokuba ngamnye kuni abe kubomi bomnye nomnye.
Yonwabele!
UDana McNeil, MA, uLMFT
4. Cwangcisa ukuhamba ubusuku bonke
Enye yeentando zam kukujonga ehotele ubusuku bonke kunye nesidlo sangokuhlwa kunye neziselo ngaphambi kwesandla.
Kuyamangalisa ngokukodwa kwizibini ezinabantwana kodwa ngokwenene kuso nasiphi na isibini. Ngokufanelekileyo ihotele ibingayi kuba kuloo ndawo ahlala kuyo umntu.
Oku kuyinika ngakumbi ukuziva ukuba ungekho.
Uhlobo, ubume kunye nokuhonjiswa kwehotele ikwayinto eyahluke mpela kwikhaya elinye okanye kwiindawo eziqhelekileyo.
- Ukuchitha ixesha kuyo yonke into ekude kuhlala kuyinto entle. Nokuba usuku okanye impelaveki.
- Ndingumlandeli weeworkshops ezimbini okanye ukubuyela umva. Kutshanje mna nomyeni wam sichithe uMgqibelo nangeCawa emini kwiworkshop yezibini. Iintsuku zijolise ekuphuculeni unxibelelwano kunye nokusondelelana. Emva kweklasi suku ngalunye, sasijikeleza esixekweni size sitye isidlo sangokuhlwa kwindawo ethe cwaka, yothando. Ibintle.
- Ehlotyeni, ndiyathanda nokuba nepikniki kwindalo, sisobabini kuphela.
- Ukubhabha kunye kunye kuyonwabisa kwaye kunokuba yinto entsha.
Irina Firstein, LCSW
Okokugqibela kususwe
Ngelixa le mibono yomhla wobusuku ilungile ekubuyiseleni ulonwabo kubudlelwane bakho, kuthatha umonde, ukuzibophelela kunye nobuchule bokwakha unxibelelwano olunzulu neqabane lakho.
Ingayinto entle ukuxubana kokuzenzekelayo kubusuku bakho bomhla kwaye ungavumeli uxinzelelo oluninzi kunye nocwangciso lukujike ube yingozi yovalo.
Umbono kukubonisa iqabane lakho ixesha elimnandi kwaye ubazise ukuba khange baphazanyiswe njengoko ubomi busenzeka kuni nobabini!