Elona Cebiso liBalaseleyo loMtshato kubafazi lokuGcina uMtshato wakho ucocekile

Umbhali: Louise Ward
Umhla Wokudalwa: 8 Eyomdumba 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 1 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Elona Cebiso liBalaseleyo loMtshato kubafazi lokuGcina uMtshato wakho ucocekile - I-Psychology
Elona Cebiso liBalaseleyo loMtshato kubafazi lokuGcina uMtshato wakho ucocekile - I-Psychology

Umxholo

I-Marriage.com izisa ezinye zeengcebiso zomtshato ezizezona zivavanywayo kwaye zivavanyiwe kubafazi ukuze bagcine umtshato wabo ugudile (kwaye ungaphantsi kobunzima). Wonke umntu wasetyhini nokuba wenza ntoni kwaye uzimele, ngamanye amaxesha amaphupha okufumana iqabane elifanelekileyo aza kutshata nalo, ekugqibeleni. Isizathu esicacileyo soku kukufuna ubuqabane, ewe, inokubangelwa kukuba imitshato iqikelelwa njani kuncwadi oludumileyo nakwiimovie.

Umtshato usasazwa 'njengokonwaba-emva koko,' into eyenza yonke into iwele endaweni. Ngelixa kunjalo, ukufumana umntu omthandayo kunye nokufunga ukuba uza kuchitha ubomi kunye naloo mntu yinto yokubhiyozela, kodwa umtshato ayisosisombululo somlingo kuzo zonke iingxaki zakho, nditsho neengxaki zakho zobudlelwane neqabane lakho.

Umtshato kukuzibophelela apho uthembisa ukuhlala neqabane lakho ebunzimeni nasebunzimeni. Oku akuthethi ukuba imitshato ayinalo ulonwabo, yile yokuba ukuguqula umtshato ube lolonwabo kufuna ixesha kunye nomzamo.


Uninzi lwabasetyhini, ukuba ayingabo bonke, olunemibono ethandabuzekayo malunga nomtshato. Igalelo kwinkcubeko ye-pop, umxholo womtshato uthandwe kakhulu, osusa kwizinto ezibalulekileyo ezifuna ukuqwalaselwa. Abanye abantu basetyhini banexesha elinzima lokuhamba emtshatweni kunye nemiceli mngeni yawo.

Nalu uluhlu lwezinye iingcebiso zomtshato zabasetyhini ezinokubanceda babe nolindelo lokwenyani kunye nolwalamano olonwabisayo nolwanelisayo namaqabane abo-

1. Funda ukunxibelelana ngendlela esempilweni

Into esisiseko njengonxibelelwano oluza ngokwendalo alubonakali ngathi yinto ekufuneka uyifundile kwakhona. Kodwa, kukho izinto ezithile ezingafundiswanga kuninzi ezibaluleke kakhulu ukugcina ubudlelwane obonwabileyo. Xa yonke into ihleli kakuhle phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho, unxibelelwano lwakho luya kubonakala ngathi alunangxaki kwaye alunangxaki, kuxa ubudlelwane bakho buhlala kumanzi amdaka kuyakufuneka uqaphele ukuba unxibelelana njani neqabane lakho. Nazi iingcebiso zomtshato zabasetyhini ezinokubanceda ukuba banxibelelane ngokufanelekileyo-


Ukuthi 'ndiyaphila' xa ungacacanga

Uninzi lwabafazi banetyala loku. Xa abalingane babo besenza into evala isiciko sabo, endaweni yokujongana nabo, bayathula kwaye balindele ukuba bazifumanise ukuba benze ntoni. Amadoda ngokubanzi athe tye, xa esiva ukuba amaqabane abo ayabacaphukisa, ayababuza isizathu. Kule nto, abafazi baphendula ngokuthi 'ndiyaphila' kwaye balindele ukuba amaqabane abo azi ukuba kwenzeke ntoni. Kule meko, umsantsa wonxibelelwano utyibilika apho utshintshela kwisifo esikhulu. Amadoda mhlawumbi athabatha 'ndiyaphila' ngokwexabiso lobuso okanye balandela amaqabane abo ukuze baphule ukuthula kwaye bachaze okwenzekileyo. Kuzo zombini ezi meko, ingqumbo iyaqhubeka nokwanda kuba abantu basetyhini baziva bekhathazekile kuba amaqabane abo ebenze bazisola ngento ethile kwaye bengaqondi nokuba yintoni.

Ukuthi 'ndiyaphila' xa ungaphilanga yindlela yokunxibelelana enetyhefu kwaye kufuneka iphetshwe. Ukuba uziva wonzakele okanye iqabane lakho lenze into ekukhathazileyo, thetha nalo.


Ubundlongondlongo nje

Kule mihla bobabini abesilisa nabasetyhini bayaphuma baye kusebenza ngaphandle kwamakhaya abo ukuze bafumane umvuzo, kodwa xa kufikwa kukwahlulwa kwemisebenzi, amadoda nabafazi abanikeli ngokulinganayo kwimisebenzi yasekhaya. Uphononongo lubonisa ukuba abantu basetyhini bachitha ixesha elininzi kwimisebenzi kunamadoda, nto leyo ebeka ingqumbo kulwalamano.

Amadoda, xa elibele ukufezekisa isabelo sawo semisebenzi, yithi ngokomzekelo-ukukhupha inkunkuma okanye ukulungisa ibhalbhu, kuyalicaphukisa iqabane labo. Lo msindo uvela ngohlobo lobundlongondlongo nje. Abasetyhini bazama ukubuyela kumaqabane abo ngobukrwada. Umzekelo- 'Ikhitshi liyanuka kodwa ngubani okhathaleleyo inkunkuma?' Okanye 'kwigumbi elingaphantsi kumnyama thsu kodwa ngubani odinga ibhalbhu yesibane xa kukho itotshi.'

Le nto iyenzayo yenza ukuba umyeni azikhusele kwaye awenze mbi ngakumbi lo mbandela. Indlela ebhetele yeyokuba, kunokuba ube sisiqhushululu, uchaze ngokucacileyo ukuba wenze le mpazamo kwaye ikwenza uzive njani le nto.

Sebenzisa esi sivakalisi kule meko-

Xa wena (ungenanto) ndiziva (ndingenanto), kwixesha elizayo uza (ungenanto).

Njengokuba

Xa (ulibale ukukhupha inkunkuma) Ndiziva (ndinomsindo), kwixesha elizayo uza (khumbula ukukhupha inkunkuma?)

Ngale ndlela uya kuba nakho ukwenza ukuba iqabane lakho liyiqonde into eliyenzileyo ngaphandle kokumbeka kwindlela yokuzikhusela. Uyakwazi ukuveza iimvakalelo zakho.

Ukuphinda iimpazamo zeqabane lakho kwiingxabano

Ukumba iimbambano ezidlulileyo phakathi kweempikiswano ayisiyiyo yezona zinto zisempilweni ukuzenza kubudlelwane. Vumela ixesha elidlulileyo lihlale lidlulileyo. Xa kukho impikiswano, kwaye iqabane lakho likutyhola ngento ethile, musa ukuzisa iimpazamo ezindala zeqabane lakho. Nje ukuba uxolele iqabane lakho, ngcwaba umnqwazi ungaze uphinde uthethe ngalo. Ukuzisa iimpazamo ezidlulileyo kwiingxoxo kunokukhokelela ekwenziweni komkhwa ombi wokugcina amanqaku kubudlelwane. Ukuba elinye iqabane liphinda elinye impazamo elidlulileyo kwelinye, elinye liya kwenza okufanayo. Xa omabini amaqabane egcina uluhlu lwengqondo lweempazamo zomnye nomnye, iba ngumdlalo wokugcina amanqaku. Ayisiyiyo loo nto kuphela, ukubambelela kwiimpazamo zomnye nomnye kukwathetha ukubambelela kwintlungu ebangelwe lelo xesha eyakha ingqumbo engeyomfuneko.

2. Nika ukubaluleka kokwabelana ngesondo

Uninzi lwezibini ezinamava zinobomi besini obufudumeleyo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha inkanuko iyaphela kwaye ngokunjalo nomnqweno wokugcina isondo linomdla, ngakumbi abantu basetyhini. Kwababini abatshatileyo ixesha elide, isondo sinokuba ngumsebenzi, kodwa into abangayiqondiyo kukuba bayawajongela phantsi amandla ezesondo kunye neziphumo zawo kubudlelwane. Uphononongo lubonise ukuba isondo sinokunyusa ukwaneliseka kobudlelwane bexesha elide. Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zomtshato zabafazi zokuphucula ubomi babo ngokwesondo-

Zijonge ngaphambili

Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, izibini zenza iinzame zokurhwebelana ngokuzibandakanya kwi-foreplay kwaye ziqwalasele amanqaku olonwabo omnye komnye. Abasetyhini batyala imali kwiimpahla zangaphantsi zeracy kwaye amadoda azigcina ezilungisa. Xa usabelana ngesondo, omabini amaqabane azama ukukholisa omnye komnye. Kodwa njengokuba ixesha lihamba ngesondo liba yinto yesiqhelo kunye nenjongo yokutshintsha kwesondo ukusuka ekuthandaneni ukuya kufikelela kuvuthondaba. Oku kunciphisa uchulumanco oluvela kwithemba lokulala ngesondo kunye kuba awunyanzelekanga ukuba ube liqabane lakho kuvuthondaba!

Kubalulekile ukuba unike kwaye ungazinikeli ngesondo olonwabisayo kunye neqabane lakho kwixesha elide. Gxila ekukholiseni iqabane lakho, zibandakanye kwimbonakalo yangaphambili kwaye hayi isenzo sokulala kuphela.

Nika indawo yokucinga kunye nokulinga

Xa ulwalamano lwakho lutsha, ukuba neentlobano zesini ezimnandi akunamsebenzi. Kodwa njengoko uqhele ukulala ngesondo kunye, ugcino luya kuhla, nokuba libidos ziphezulu kangakanani amaqabane. Uphando lubonisa ukuba isondo sihlala sinomdla unyaka omnye kuphela kubudlelwane.

Kodwa ukwabelana ngesondo rhoqo kubalulekile kwimpilo-ntle yobudlelwane bexesha elide. Ke ugcina njani umdla wesondo? Ngokuzama kwigumbi lakho lokulala!

Xoxa ngeekinks zakho kunye neqabane lakho kwaye nivumelane ngokwenza into ngaphandle kwesiqhelo ukwenza izinto kwigumbi lokulala. Unokuthenga iithoyi zesini ukwenza ukuba isondo lakho libe mnandi. Unokudlala imidlalo yesondo ukuseta amaqondo obushushu anyuka esakeni.

3. Sukuyigcina imeko yezemali yomtshato wakho ngasemva

Imvisiswano yezemali ayisositshixo kwimvumelwano yomtshato. Nangona kunjalo, ukulawulwa kwemali egudileyo kusombulula iingxaki ezininzi zekhaya. Ukuba kukho ukungqubana kwezemali phakathi kwesibini, singena nzulu kubudlelwane obudala ukulahleka konxibelelwano, ukusondelelana kunye nonxibelelwano. Izifundo zibonisa ukuba imali yeyona nto ibangela uxinzelelo kubudlelwane.

Abasetyhini ngakumbi kufuneka bazi ukubaluleka kwemali, kuba bayakuthanda ukuthenga kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba bathenge izinto ezingxamisekileyo. Ukuthintela imiceli mngeni ekuphazamiseni ubudlelwane bakho nantsi ingcebiso ngomtshato wezemali kwabafazi-

Ukuqonda okucacileyo kwemali yezindlu

Abasetyhini abangeyonxalenye yabasebenzi bezoqoqosho okanye abo babeke ngokupheleleyo amaqabane abo kwimali yendlu yabo kufuneka bathathe amanyathelo okuqonda ezemali. Nokuba iqabane lakho lelona longa imali kwaye lityale imali yakho kwaye lithathe isigqibo sokuthenga kufuneka wazi ukuba zilawulwa njani ezemali. Oku kuya kukunika ukuqonda ukuba yeyiphi imali esetyenzisiweyo, yintoni egciniweyo kwaye wenza njani ngemali.Ukuba unolwazi malunga nokuma kwakho kwemali uya kuba nakho ukuthintela ukuthengwa kwakho okungxamisekileyo. Oku, kuya kuthi kunciphise ukungavisisani okubangelwe yimicimbi yemali phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho.

Beka iinjongo zezezimali kunye neqabane lakho

Ukuthintela iyantlukwano neqabane lakho kwimicimbi yezemali zama ukuseta iinjongo ezigqityiweyo zemali. Umzekelo, yithi wena neqabane lakho nifuna ukuthenga indlu. Ninokuthatha isigqibo malunga nesicwangciso kunye malunga nokuba ungonga kanjani indlu kwaye kwangaxeshanye unakekele iindleko zekhaya. Ngale ndlela omabini amaqabane ahleli kwindlela imali eza kulawulwa ngayo kude kube kufezekisiwe injongo yezemali kwaye akuyi kubakho ngxabano malunga nemali echithwe. Akuyi kubakho ndawo yengqumbo evela kwinkcitho engenakuthelekiswa nanto.

4. Zixabise phambi komnye umntu

Ukuze ube nolwalamano oluhle kunye neqabane lakho kufuneka ube nolwalamano olukhulu nawe. Ukuba awuzithandi kwaye awukhuselekanga, akukho siqinisekiso sokuqinisekiswa, kunye nengqwalaselo evela kwiqabane lakho enokukunceda.

Abasetyhini ngakumbi bajongane nemigangatho engekho ngqiqweni xa kusenziwa igalelo kwimisebenzi, ukujonga nokuziphatha ngendlela ethile kubudlelwane. Maxa wambi oku kugxeka indlela abazijonga ngayo kwaye kunciphisa ukuzithemba kwabo. Oku akubenzi babandezeleke kuphela kodwa kuchaphazela nolwalamano lwabo ngokungalunganga. Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zomtshato kwabasetyhini abanengxaki yokuzithemba-

Sukuxhomekeka kakhulu kwiqabane lakho

Abantu abanokuzixabisa okuphantsi bajonge kumaqabane abo ukuze baqiniseke ngayo yonke into abayenzayo. Baye baxhomekeke kakhulu kumaqabane abo de baphulukane nokuzithemba ukuthatha izigqibo nakwezona zinto zingabalulekanga. Le nto iyenzayo iyenza buthathaka imilo yabo kwaye ibenze bazive bengaphelelanga ngaphandle kweqabane labo. Ulwalamano lwabo luba sisazisi kwaye baphulukana neminqweno, amaphupha kunye neenjongo eziphathelele kubo.

Oku kuxhomekeka kudala uxinzelelo olungafunekiyo, nolungafanelekanga kubudlelwane kwaye umntu oxhomekeke kuye uzimisele ukufumana ukuphoxeka okungapheliyo.

Sukuzilungiselela unyango olungalunganga

Xa unika iqabane lakho ilungelo lokuthatha zonke izigqibo zakho kwaye lingenakho ukusebenza ngaphandle kokuqinisekiswa, umnika amandla okuhamba phezu kwakho. Isiseko sobudlelwane yintlonipho, kwaye lilungelo lakho ukulindela intlonipho kwiqabane lakho. Kodwa, xa ungazihloniphi ngokwaneleyo, ucinga ukuba ufanelwe kokuncinci kwaye vumela iqabane lakho libaleke ngokuphatha kakubi. Iqala ngeziganeko ezincinci, kodwa ukuba awuzimeli, uyaqhubeka ufumana unyango olubi. Ekugqibeleni, unokuzifumana phakathi kokugxekwa rhoqo, ukungakhathaleli, ukungahoywa kwaye mhlawumbi nokuxhatshazwa! Kubalulekile ukuzixabisa kwaye ubeke imida; iya kukugcina kunye nolwalamano lwakho lusempilweni.

"Sukulungela ubudlelwane obungenakuvumela ukuba ube nguwe- u-Oprah Winfrey"
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Sukulicinezela iqabane lakho

Nokuba iqabane lakho ngumntu ongenakuze angakuhloniphi phantsi kwayo nayiphi na imeko, indlela oziphethe ngayo inokuphazamisa ulwalamano lwakho. Ukufuna kwakho rhoqo ukungqinisisa kunye nokuqinisekisa kunokulonakalisa iqabane lakho. Ukuba iqabane lakho ngumntu othanda ukunxulumana kwaye enezinto azithandayo, umntu onobomi ngaphandle kobudlelwane, ukuba neqabane elizimeleyo kunokumenza azive ethintekile. Ngaphandle kokuba wonwabile nesiqu sakho, awungekhe ulonwabise iqabane lakho.

“Isitya esingenanto asinakuyizalisa ikomityi”
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Ezi zezinye zeengcebiso ezilungileyo zomtshato kubafazi phaya. Ukunamathela kwezi kunye nobomi obonwabileyo emtshatweni ngokuqinisekileyo kufuneka zilandelwe.