Umxholo
- Ngaba ubudlelwane businda ekukopeni?
- Amanqanaba okuphulukana nokungathembeki
- 1. Yeka ukohlwaya iqabane lakho
- 2. Yiqonde intswelo engazalisekiswayo
- 3. Endaweni yomsindo yiba nokuqonda
- 4. Kuphephe ukuthetha kakubi
- 5. Khumbula iintlungu
Ke, iqabane lakho likukhohlisile. Ufumene okanye baphuma ekuhleni kwaye bakutyhile le nyaniso imbi kuwe. Wenzakele kakhulu. Kodwa ngoku? Uphelile umtshato wakho? Ukusinda kukungathembeki akukho lula. Ke, ungawenza njani umcimbi?
Impendulo yalo mbuzo ixhomekeke kuwe. Ngaba ujongene nokungathembeki emzimbeni okanye ngokweemvakalelo apha? Kwabaninzi, ukungathembeki (okanye naluphi na uhlobo) kunokuba sisaphulelo kwaye kunokuluchitha ngokupheleleyo ulwalamano. Kodwa, akufuneki ibenjalo. Emva kokuchacha ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokweemvakalelo kunokuba luhambo olude kakhulu.
Izibini ezininzi ziye zoyisa ngempumelelo kwaye zasinda kukungathembeki kubudlelwane babo kuba befuna njalo, ngaphandle kwemiceli mngeni eza nendlela yokumelana nokungathembeki.
Ngaba ubudlelwane businda ekukopeni?
Phambi kokuba senze indlela eya phambili yokuqonda indlela yokuyeka ukungathembeki kunye nokwakha ukuthembana emtshatweni, kubalulekile ukuba wazi, "Ngaba umtshato ungasinda kukungathembeki?"
Ukuthandana akuthethi ukuba ubudlelwane buye ezinjeni.
Emva kokungathembeki emtshatweni, eminye imitshato iyakwazi ukusinda kuhlaselo lokukopa, ngelixa olunye ubudlelwane bungafunekiyo ukuba busindiswe. Abanye abatshatileyo banokudlula kuyo. Ngelixa ezinye ziyaqhekeka. Nangona kunjalo, kuthatha umsebenzi omninzi.
Umtshato ungasindiswa ukuba abantu abatshatileyo bazimisele ukufaka umsebenzi ofunekayo, bazibophezele ekunyanisekeni, kwaye benze isigqibo sokuyeka ukukopela xa befuna unyango lokuqhubekeka nokungathembeki nokwakha ukuthembana emva kokukopela.
Amanqanaba okuphulukana nokungathembeki
Kwindlela onokuphola ngayo kukungathembeki, kubalulekile ukuqonda izigaba ezahlukeneyo zokuchacha kumlingane wakho. Nangona iqabane elikhohlisayo linokuveza ukuzisola lize licele uxolo, iqabane elingcatshiweyo lidlula kwizigaba ezinzima kunye nokwenzakala, ngaphambi kokuba baqhubeke.
- Inqanaba lokothuka apho ukhoyo ishiywe ikwimeko yokwala ngokupheleleyo, ukothuka, ubulolo, kunye nokungcatshwa okunzulu. Ukuzithemba kwakho kubetha phantsi ngalo lonke ixesha.
- Isarha yomsindo, uloyiko kunye nosizi. Uba buhlungu ngaphambili, ukonwaba kuhlobo lwakho.
- Uyazuza Ukuqonda malunga nokuba umcimbi wenzeka njani, ugqitha ngaphaya komdlalo osolwayo, kwaye wenze intloko kwicala lokusinda kukungathembeki. Wenza isigqibo esisengqiqweni nesifundisiweyo malunga nekamva lobuhlobo bakho.
Unyango lwezibini emva kokungathembeki kunokuba luncedo kakhulu ekuchongeni izigaba ezahlukeneyo zokubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo. Unyango luya kugubungela amanqanaba obudlelwane bakho, kubandakanya umcimbi lowo.
Ungakuxolela njani ukungathembeki kwaye wenze ukuqala ngokutsha
Ukuba uyalithanda iqabane lakho kwaye ufuna ukusondela kule ngxaki ngenjongo yokuziphilisa (kunye nomtshato wakho), nazi ke iingcebiso zokuba usinde ekungathembekini emtshatweni kunye nokuphilisa emva komtshato.
1. Yeka ukohlwaya iqabane lakho
Ukukhohliswa kunye nokusinda ekungathembekini kwamava kunokuba ngamava abuhlungu. Wonzakele kakhulu. Ewe kunjalo, unomsindo ngokunjalo. Kakhulu kangangokuba ufuna ukulimaza umva kwaye ubenze bahlawule ngokwenza oku kuwe.
Ke, ungasinda njani kukungathembeki?
Qaphela ukuba lo mzuzu ukhetha indlela oza kuziva ngayo kwaye usabele ngayo. Ukugcina umtshato emva kokungathembeki kuza nobuninzi bokukhetha okunzima.
Unokuba ukhohlakele kwaye uziphindezele, nto leyo eya kulandisa inxeba kwaye yongeze kwintlungu okanye ungalumka kwaye uzame ukufumana ukuqonda malunga nomba wokwenyani.
Sukusebenzisa eli xesha njengesohlwayo kwiqabane lakho ngezenzo zalo; Oko kuyakukuguqula ube lixhoba elisisigxina kwaye wenze ukungalingani kwamandla kulwalamano.
Endleleni yokoyisa ukungathembeki, ukuba unqwenela ukunyanga, kuya kufuneka uxole kwaye utshintshe.
2. Yiqonde intswelo engazalisekiswayo
Ngaphandle kokuba iqabane lakho liyi-serial cheater, ujongene nengxaki yobudlelwane apha.
Khumbula ukuba akukho siphoso kubuntu babo. Zibuze ukuba ithini indima yakho kulomcimbi.Mhlawumbi kwenye indawo bekukho isidingo esingagungqiyo kubudlelwane bakho- uthando, uthando, ingqalelo, ukuqinisekiswa kwexabiso okanye enye into?
Mhlawumbi kusenokwenzeka ukuba babengeviwa kwaye bengaqondwa? Ukwamkela intswelo engafezekiswanga kunokuba sisityhilelo (esibuhlungu) - kulapho ke uyazi igalelo lakho kwimicimbi engaphandle komtshato.
Ukwenza oku sisikhombisi esibalulekileyo ekuncedeni nina nibuye niphilise ngelixa ujongene nokungathembeki kweyona ndlela ifanelekileyo.
3. Endaweni yomsindo yiba nokuqonda
Ukuchacha kukungathembeki akukho lula. Kodwa kuyakwenzeka ethubeni (ngakumbi emva kokuba uyamkele eyakho indima). Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, yazi ukuba nanini na kukho ukungathembeki kubandakanyeka kubudlelwane, iqabane elingaqhathiyo lidlala indima kwidrama.
Ukulungisa ukunganyaniseki, ukulungiswa kuya kwenzeka kuphela xa nobabini nigqibe kwelokuba nibe kunye noxanduva lwenu.
4. Kuphephe ukuthetha kakubi
Ewe, emva kwako konke ukothuka kunye nokwenzakala, uya kuziva unesidingo sokuzityand 'igila kumhlobo osenyongweni okanye kumalungu osapho. Nangona kunjalo, sukujonga ukuzityand 'igila kubantu osenyongweni malunga nokungcatshwa liqabane lakho njengendlela yokusinda ekuthandaneni okanye ukoyisa ukungathembeki.
Ngelixa uchacha kumcimbi wokuthandana kunye nokuphilisa ukungathembeki, ufuna inkxaso ngeli xesha kwaye kuyinto eqhelekileyo leyo.
Kodwa ukuba unenjongo yokusinda ekungathembekini emtshatweni wakho kwaye ulungise izinto kunye neqabane lakho, isenokungabi ngumbono omuhle ukuveza zonke iinkcukacha ezimdaka kwaye uzifake ekukhanyeni okungalunganga. Ekugqibeleni, wonke umntu uya kubuza izizathu zakho zokuhlala. Kwaye awufuni ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bubekwe phaya ukuze kugwetywe esidlangalaleni.
5. Khumbula iintlungu
Asithethi kuthi apha ukuba akufuneki uyeke ixesha elidlulileyo.
Uxolelo lubaluleke kakhulu kodwa qiniseka ukuba ukhumbula iintlungu ekugqibeleni. Ukubamba ingqumbo kuya kubutshabalalisa ubudlelwane bakho (kungcono ushiye), kodwa ukucima iintlungu zangaphambili kuya kwenza ukuba omnye umntu azive ngathi yinto eyamkelekileyo ukuyenza kwaye uyishiye ivulekele ukuphindwaphindwa. Ke khumbula la mava njengenxalenye yohambo lobudlelwane bakho.
Ngendlela eyayothusa ngayo, yayiyinto eniyenzileyo nobabini. Sebenzisa iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokujongana nokungathembeki ngentla ukusinda ekungathembekini kulo naluphi na ulwalamano.