Umxholo
- 1. Nobabini ningabantu abazinzileyo
- 2. Wena neqabane lakho niyahambelana kwinqanaba eliphambili
- 3. Akuvumelani ngendlela esempilweni
- 4. Nobabini nibeka phambili ngokokubaluleka
- 5. Nivakalisa umbulelo omnye komnye ngeendlela ezincinci yonke imihla
- 6. Uzimisele kakhulu kulwalamano
- 7. Kukho isiseko sokuthembana phakathi kwenu
- 8. Niyamkelana ngokupheleleyo
- 9. Niba nenxaxheba ekukhuleni komnye nomnye ngokomoya
Ulwalamano olusempilweni lulwalamano oluzinzileyo. Sonke siyazazi izibini ezilwa njengeekati kunye nezinja ngenye imini, kuphela ukuba babe nothando njengabantu abasandul 'ukutshata ngokulandelayo. Basengozini yoqhawulo mtshato okanye baqhayisa ngothando lwabo oluhlaziyiweyo kubo bonke abaya kuphulaphula.
Ezo zibini azinandiphi ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo; intsebenziswano yabo kunqabile ukuba ibe yexesha elide, okanye, ukuba kunjalo, igcwele idrama, iinyembezi, kunye nokungonwabi. Akukho mntu uyakonwabela ukuba kulwalamano lwe-bipolar. Inokukwenza uzive uxhalabile, usoyika kwaye ungakhuselekanga. Sonke sinelungelo lokonwabela ubudlelwane obugudileyo, obunothando kwaye obusenza sizive sikhuselekile. "Ukuzinza" akuthethi "kuyadika". "Ukuzinza" kuyanelisa, kuyaphucula ubomi kunye nesiseko sobudlelwane obuqinileyo nothando.
Nazi iingcebiso eziluncedo ezi-9 zokukunceda wakhe ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo:
1. Nobabini ningabantu abazinzileyo
Ukuze wenze ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo, amaqabane amabini kufuneka azinze ngokwawo. Oku kuthetha ukuba basebenze ngokuzimisela ukuze babe ngabantu abadala abaziqinisekisayo. Bafundile kwaye badibanisa izifundo ezibalulekileyo zobomi. Ukuba banemicimbi engasonjululwanga, basebenze kwezi ngonyango okanye ngomcebisi othembekileyo. Benze ubomi obanelisayo nobuzuzisayo. Xa abantu abazinzileyo behlangana, ubudlelwane obulandelayo bulungelelaniswa ngokwemvelo.
2. Wena neqabane lakho niyahambelana kwinqanaba eliphambili
Ukudala okanye ukugcina ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo kufuna ukuba omabini amaqabane abelane ngamaxabiso asisiseko afanayo.
Oku kuthetha ukuba bayavumelana ngamanqaku athile abalulekileyo, anje ngendlela abayijonga ngayo imali, ezopolitiko, usapho, imfundo, ukuthembeka, isini kunye nokuphindaphindwa kwayo, iindlela zokuphila ezinje ngokutya okusempilweni, ukwenza umthambo nokutshaya.
Amaqabane aphikisana nelinye lala manqaku anokuzifumana enokungqubana kubudlelwane bawo, adala ukungazinzi. Umzekelo, uziva ngathi ukunyanga umzimba wakho ngendlela esempilweni kubalulekile. Usebenza rhoqo, hlala kude nokutya okwenziweyo, kwaye ungatshayi. Ukuba uneqabane elihlala imini yonke litshaya icuba kwaye litya iilekese, oku akuyi kukhuthaza imvakalelo yozinzo kubudlelwane bakho. Indlela yakho yokuphila esisiseko iyaphikisana. Ukugcina ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo kunokuba nzima kule meko.
3. Akuvumelani ngendlela esempilweni
Isibini esonwabela ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo sinxibelelana ngobubele nentlonipho.
Xa besilwa, bayakuphepha ukugxekana okanye ukuveza iimpazamo zexesha elidlulileyo. Bambelela kumxholo kwaye bamamele icala lomnye lezinto. Bavumela omnye nomnye ukuba azivakalise ngaphandle kokuphazanyiswa.
Basebenza nzima ukuqonda indlela omnye abona ngayo oyena nobangela wokungavisisani. Abantu abatshatileyo kubudlelwane obungazinzanga bazama kwaye babonisane ukuba kutheni befanelekile kwaye enye ingalunganga. Bayalivala iqabane labo okanye bazicime ngokwabo, ke le ngxoxo ayihambeli kwisisombululo. Abazihloniphi omnye nomnye, basebenzise amagama anjengokuthi "vala umlomo!" okanye, "Awunakwenza nto kakuhle!" Iingxabano zabo zijikeleza kwizangqa, kwaye ziphela kuphela ngenxa yokuba umntu omnye ediniwe kuko konke ukukhala nokumemeza.
4. Nobabini nibeka phambili ngokokubaluleka
Njengoko uhamba malunga nosuku lwakho, iingcinga zakho zijikela kwiqabane lakho. Ukuba unesigqibo esikhulu ekufuneka usenzile, uyaqubisana neqabane lakho. Ufuna uluvo lweqabane lakho kwiiprojekthi nakwizicwangciso zakho. Ukonwaba kweqabane lakho kunye nokuba sempilweni kwakho yeyona nto ikukhathaleleyo.
5. Nivakalisa umbulelo omnye komnye ngeendlela ezincinci yonke imihla
Ukugcina ubudlelwane bakho busempilweni kwaye buzinzile, ufumana iindlela zokukhumbuza iqabane lakho ukuba ubathanda kangakanani kwaye unombulelo kangakanani kuwe ebomini bakho. Ukusuka ekuphekeni kwakhe ikomityi yekofu yokuqala kusasa, ukuya kwithambiso lentamo elimnandi ngaphambi kokuba ayokulala ebusuku, ubonakalisa umbulelo wakho ngochukumiso lomzimba, ukuthetha ngomlomo nangokubhala, kunye nelizwi elithambileyo nelingalindelekanga lothando.
6. Uzimisele kakhulu kulwalamano
Nobabini nivumelene ngaphambi komtshato ukuba umtshato awusoze ukhethe. Olu lwazi lubolekisa uzinzo kubudlelwane bakho, lukuvumela ukuba usebenze ngamaxesha obunzima ngokwazi ukuba kwanangamaxesha amabi, uya kuhlala uthembele komnye nomnye.
7. Kukho isiseko sokuthembana phakathi kwenu
Ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo buhleli phezu komandlalo wokuthembana. Wena neqabane lakho ninyanisekile kwaye niyinyani. Akukho mkhwele phakathi kwenu. Ungavuleleka, ube sesichengeni kwaye ube nokunyaniseka omnye nomnye. Nokuba luloyiko okanye iimvakalelo owabelana ngazo neqabane lakho, uyazi ukuba uya kuhlala ekuthanda kwaye akukhathalele.
8. Niyamkelana ngokupheleleyo
Abantu abathandanayo kubudlelwane obuzinzileyo bayamkelana ukuba bangobani, ngoku, namhlanje. Abazange bathande amandla omnye, bathandana nabanye njengoko babenjalo. Naluphi na utshintsho olwenzekayo kubudlelwane-utshintsho olwenzeka emzimbeni, ukugula, imiceli mngeni ebomini, nobabini niyazamkela kwaye anizami ukutshintsha nibe liqabane eninqwenela ukuba nalo.
9. Niba nenxaxheba ekukhuleni komnye nomnye ngokomoya
Nobabini nifuna ukuqhubeka nokukhula nokukhula njengabantu. Utyalomali kwimpilo-ntle yomnye nomnye. Niyabelana nabanye ngezifundo zobomi enizifundayo njengokuba niqhubela phambili, kwaye niqhwaba izandla xa iqabane lakho lihlangabezana nemiceli mngeni azibekele yona. Nobabini niyazi ukuba isipho sobomi kunye nothando luxabisekile, kwaye nigcina le nto iphambili engqondweni ukuze ningaze niyithathe lula.