Umxholo
- 1. Uthando lunamandla njengokufa
- 2. Musa ukujonga omnye umntu
- 3. Uzakufuna ukuxolela
- 4. Awuwedwa
- 5. Thembela emtshatweni wakho ngaphezu kweemvakalelo zakho
Ukuchacha kukungathembeki kunye nokuphilisa ukungathembeki, kubandakanya imiceli mngeni emininzi kwiqabane eliqhathiweyo, kwaye likhangele iindlela zokuphinda zithandane.
Ukuba inye into ekungekho mntu utshatileyo ofuna ukuba nayo, inokuba yiyo. Nangona kunjalo ngokophando oluninzi olupapashiweyo, kuqikelelwe ukuba uninzi lweepesenti ezingama-60 zabantu baya kuthatha inxaxheba okungenani kumcimbi omnye kwimitshato yabo. Ayisiyiyo loo nto kuphela, kodwa iipesenti ezi-2-3 zabantwana zizisiphumo sokuthandana.
Ewe, ezi ziinkcukacha manani ezimbi; kunjalo, oko akuthethi ukuba ulwalamano lwakho kufuneka abe ngomnye wabo. Xa kufikwa kumba wokungqina umtshato wakho, iincwadi ezinje ngeeMfuno zaKhe, iimfuno zakhe nguWillard F. Harley, Omnciana zingakunika ulwazi oluninzi ngendlela yokugcina unxibelelwano lwakho neqabane lakho lisempilweni kwaye lomelele.
Ikwangumbono olungileyo ukubona umcebisi womtshato, ubuncinci amaxesha ambalwa ngonyaka, nokuba awuziva ukuba unayo nayiphi na imiba yomtshato "yokwenyani". Yindlela esebenzayo yokugcina umtshato wakho ukhuselekile. Kwakhona, yenza ukusondelelana (kokubini ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo) kubudlelwane bakho kube kwindawo ephambili.
Ukuba iipesenti ezili-15 ukuya kuma-20 zabantu abatshatileyo babelana ngesondo ngaphantsi kwamaxesha ali-10 ngonyaka, imitshato engabelani ngesondo ithathwa njengeyona nto ibangela ukungathembeki.
Kodwa kuthekani ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba ube ngumntu osele engathembekanga kulwalamano lwakho? Ewe kunokuba nzima (ngokukhohlakeleyo). Ewe kunokuvakala ngathi umtshato wakho ufikelela esiphelweni esingaphephekiyo. Nangona kunjalo, lelona xesha limnyama ekufuneka ukhumbule ukuba ukubuyela kwimeko yokungathembeki kunokwenzeka.
Oko kwathethi, kubalulekile ukuba ugcine ezi zinto zintlanu zilandelayo xa uzama ukukhangela iindlela zokufumana umcimbi kwaye uphilise emva kokungathembeki.
1. Uthando lunamandla njengokufa
Kukho ivesi eBhayibhileni ethi "uthando lunamandla njengokufa" (Ingoma kaSolomon 8: 6).
Xa uphulukana nokungathembeki, kuyinto entle ukubambelela kufutshane kuba sisikhumbuzo sokuba nokuba kwenzeka ntoni emtshatweni, uthando onalo omnye komnye lunamandla okukuzisa.
Umtshato ungaqala uvakalelwe njengokufa kobudlelwane bakho, kodwa uthando luyakwazi ukuyibuyisela ebomini.
2. Musa ukujonga omnye umntu
Ukuba awuzange uyibone imovie kaTyler Perry Kwakutheni Ukuze Nditshate?, kulungile ukuba ujonge. Kuyo, into ebizwa ngokuba ngumgaqo we-80/20 iyakhankanywa. Ngokusisiseko ithiyori kukuba xa umntu ekopela, bathambekele ekutsaleni kwipesenti ezingama-20 komnye umntu olahlekileyo kwiqabane.
Nangona kunjalo, bahlala bephela beqonda ukuba babengcono kakhulu ngeepesenti ezingama-80 ababesele benazo. Yiyo loo nto kungazange kube licebo elihle ukugxila "komnye umntu". Leyo yeyona ndlela isebenzayo nesebenzayo yokuqhubela phambili emva kokukhohliswa.
Abazongxaki; zizinto ezazisetyenziselwa ukuzama ukulungisa eyona micimbi. Ukuba nguwe oye wathandana, sukujonga kulowo ubuqhathe naye njengetikiti lakho lokonwaba.
Khumbula, banceda ngokwenene ukuba ungathembeki; Lowo sele ingumba wengqibelelo kubo. Kwaye ukuba ulixhoba lomcimbi, musa ukuchitha ixesha elininzi uzibuza ukuba yintoni eyenze omnye umntu abe "ngcono kakhulu" kunawe. Azikho "ngcono", zahlukile.
Ayisiyiyo loo nto kuphela kodwa imicimbi yeyokuzingca kuba ayifuni msebenzi kunye nokuzinikela okwenziwa yimitshato. Omnye umntu akayonxalenye yomtshato wakho. Sukubanika amandla ngakumbi kunokuba kufanelekile. Yiyiphi enye.
3. Uzakufuna ukuxolela
Ngaba ubudlelwane bungabuyela esiqhelweni emva kokukopela? Impendulo, ixhomekeke.
Abanye abantu abatshatileyo abenzi kakuhle ekuchaseni ukungathembeki kuba bayaqhubeka nokuzisa-kwimeko kunye nangaphandle komxholo. Nangona kuthatha ixesha elithile ukuphola kwaye ngelixa "ukuthandana" kungenakwenzeka i-100 pesenti, ukuze umtshato wakho uphile, ukuxolelwa kuya kufuneka kwenzeke.
Enye yeengcebiso zokwakha ukuthembana emva kokukopela kukukhumbula ukuba ixhoba liza kufuneka lixolele umkhohlisi kwaye umntu okopayo kuya kufuneka azixolele.
Kukwabalulekile ukwabelana ukuba uxolelo yinkqubo.
Nangona iintlungu zokungathembeki ezingapheliyo, suku ngalunye, nobabini kuyakufuneka nigqibe kwelokuba "ndizakuthatha elinye inyathelo lokukhupha lento ukuze umtshato wam womelele."
4. Awuwedwa
Inxalenye yesizathu sokuba kwabelwana ngeenkcukacha-manani yayikukuze ukhunjuzwe ukuba ngelixa ungaziva ngathi ngumtshato wakho kuphela emhlabeni onamava okungathembeki, ngokuqinisekileyo akunjalo. Ayisiyokwenza ukukhanya kwemeko yakho okanye ukujongela phantsi ukubaluleka kombuzo, indlela yokuphilisa emva kokuqhathwa.
Kukukhuthaza nje ukuba ufikelele kwabanye abantu onokuthembela kubo
- Gcina izinto ngokuzithemba ngokupheleleyo
- Inkxaso kunye nokukukhuthaza
- Mhlawumbi usenokwabelana namava abo njengendlela yokubonelela ngethemba
- Kukunceda ekunyangeni emva kokuthandana
Ukuba awukakulungeli ukuthatha elo nyathelo, ubuncinci jonga ukubukela uxwebhu lweSitrato i-51 Birch Street. Idibanisa ukungathembeki. Ngokuqinisekileyo uya kuwubona umtshato ngendlela entsha.
5. Thembela emtshatweni wakho ngaphezu kweemvakalelo zakho
Ukuba wonke umntu owafumana umcimbi wothando uthembele kwiimvakalelo zakhe xa kufikwa kumba wokugqiba ukuba bazakusebenza na, mhlawumbi awunakuphumelela umtshato.
Kwakhona, kwabo bafuna iingcebiso zokufumana ukuthembana emva kokukopela, kubalulekile ukunika iqabane lakho impendulo eyonelisayo abayidingayo ngokunyaniseka malunga nokuba uphi, izicatshulwa kunye neenkcukacha zeefowuni, izicwangciso zekamva, izinto emsebenzini, abantu onxibelelana nabo kwi yonke imihla, naluphi na utshintsho kwinkqubo yesiqhelo. Yenza konke okusemandleni ukubanceda ukuba bakuthembe.
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba awukakulungelanga ukufumana iimpendulo kwimibuzo enje, "ungaphila njani emva kokungathembeki" kunye "nendlela yokwakha ubudlelwane kwakhona emva kokukopela", kuyacetyiswa ukuba ufikelele kwingcali eqinisekisiweyo eyakukunceda wenze ukungathembeki kwaye uququzelele inkqubo yokufumana kwakhona emva kokungathembeki.
Baqeqeshiwe abaqeqeshiweyo abanokukunceda ukuba ujongane njani nokungathembeki kwaye ubuphelise ubudlelwane ngoxolo ukuqala ngokutsha, ukuba ukhetha ukuyibiza iyayeka.
Ngaphandle kokugxila ekubeni kuthatha ixesha elingakanani ukungathembeki, kubalulekile ukuba ugcine engqondweni ukuba ngelixa ubuyela kwimeko yokungathembeki, kufuneka ujonge ngakumbi emtshatweni wakho kwaye unqwenela ntoni kuwo kunendlela oziva ngayo malunga nokuthandana ngokwakho.
Umcimbi yimpazamo eyenziwayo emtshatweni, kodwa umtshato wakho ubudlelwane obenzelwe ukuba buhlale ixesha elide. Ukuba iseyile nto uyinqwenelayo, beka intliziyo yakho kunye nomphefumlo wakho kuyo. Hayi kwinto eyayizama ukuyitshabalalisa.