Umxholo
- 1. Musa ukungena kubudlelwane ngokukhawuleza
- 2. Ungaze ufune ukwahlukana ngaphandle kwemvume yeqabane lakho
- 3. Sukungxama ukutyikitya amaphepha oqhawulo-mtshato
- 4. Musa ukuthetha kakubi ngomlingane wakho phambi kwabantwana
- 5. Ungaze uliyeke iqabane lakho ilungelo lokuba ngumzali ngokubambisana
Ngaba ucinga ngokwahlulwa, kade?
Ukuqhawulwa komtshato kunokuba buhlungu ngokwenene. Kwaye ke kubalulekile ukuba ubone ukuba yintoni ongayenzi ngexesha lokwahlukana.
Ingxaki yokwahlukana kukwahlukana okanye ngumtshato obuyiselweyo. Ukuziphatha kwakho ngeli xesha kumisela indlela ohamba ngayo umtshato wakho. Ikamva lomtshato wakho lilele ezandleni zakho.
Ngaphambi kokuba wenze naliphi na inyathelo elibi, qiniseka ukuba nobabini nabelana ngeenjongo ezifanayo kwicala lomtshato ngokwahlukana.
Ke, ngaba uyafuna ukwahlukana okwanelisayo?
Nazi iingcebiso ezintlanu eziphambili malunga nokungakwenzi ngexesha lokwahlukana.
1. Musa ukungena kubudlelwane ngokukhawuleza
Emva kokwahlukana, iimvakalelo zakho ezingazinzanga azikuvumeli ukuba ulawule ubudlelwane obusebenzayo ngokufanelekileyo. Ke, yintoni ongayenzi ngexesha lokwahlukana?
Zinike ixesha lokuphola.
Lixesha lokuba ubonakalise kwaye uzivavanye kwindima yakho ngokwahlukana. Ewe, iqabane lakho linokuba lingalunganga; nawe ubeneempazamo zakho kubudlelwane.
Ukungena kubudlelwane kwakamsinya emva kokwahlukana kuyenza nzima inkqubo yakho yokuphilisa.
Ngexesha ufika ezingqondweni, uphulukene nolwalamano lwakho lwangoku kunye noludala. Ngapha koko, ngubani ofuna ukuthandana nomntu onesiqwenga semithwalo yobudlelwane!
Ngexesha lokwahlukana kwetyala, xa iqabane lakho liqonda ukuba uqhubekile, nabo banokuyeka yonke imizamo yokubuyisela umtshato.
Ezinye zezizathu zokwahlukana zisenokuba “ziyaxolelaniswa,” kodwa ukungena kobudlelwane obuphindaphindeneyo kuya kukhula kube “kungavisisani.”
2. Ungaze ufune ukwahlukana ngaphandle kwemvume yeqabane lakho
Ngaba ujonge ukubuyisela ubudlelwane bakho? Ukuba ewe, thathela ingqalelo le ngcebiso ilandelayo malunga nokungakwenzi ngexesha lokwahlukana.
Ukubeka iqabane lakho ebumnyameni ngexesha lokwahlukana komtshato kwenza ukubuyiselwa komtshato kungumsebenzi wokunyuka. Ukwahlukana kwakha imitshato eyomeleleyo xa uphathwa ngolwazi kunye nezakhono ezifanelekileyo.
Ukuthatha ixesha ungabikho komnye nomnye kukunika ithuba lokwenza isigqibo esifanelekileyo ngaphandle kwempembelelo yeqabane lakho. Yiba nentlanganiso eqolileyo neqabane lakho ngaphambi kokwahlukana.
Isivumelwano sokwahlukana komtshato sinokukunceda uthathe isigqibo malunga neenjongo ezicacisiweyo zexesha lokwahlukana, kubandakanya nokulindelwa kuzo zombini iziphelo kunye noxanduva.
Oku kubeka iqabane ngalinye emfanekisweni wobudlelwane. Ngapha koko, ngonxibelelwano lwakho oluqhubekayo, ulinganisa imeko kwixa elizayo lobudlelwane bakho.
Xa iqabane libuyela ekhaya ukufumana indlu engenanto ngaphandle kwesizathu esiqinisekileyo, ekuzikhuseleni, unokukubetha kumdlalo wakho ngokunyusa ukwahlukana ngakumbi ngokusika unxibelelwano.
Kungenxa yonxibelelwano olwenza iqabane lakho lazi izizathu zakho zokwahlukana emtshatweni. Unxibelelwano olusempilweni lunokunceda ekuphuhliseni injongo ekwabelwana ngayo kwiqabane ngalinye ngeli xesha linzima.
3. Sukungxama ukutyikitya amaphepha oqhawulo-mtshato
Kukhuphiswano lokwahlukana vs. uqhawulo-mtshato, kungcono ukhethe ukwahlukana komtshato ekuqaleni.
Amagqwetha omtshato awaze akhawuleze ukukhawulezisa izibini kuqhawulo-mtshato kuba bayawaqonda amandla exesha ekuphiliseni iimvakalelo.
Unokuba nesizathu esiqinileyo sokwahlukana ngokwasemthethweni, kodwa vumela uxolelo ukuba luthathe indawo ephambili yokuhlangula umtshato wakho.
Ke, yintoni ongayenzi ngexesha lokwahlukana?
Thatha ikhefu kude neqabane lakho ukuze ubonakalise kwaye unike iqabane lakho elinye ithuba.
Ukungxamela ukwahlulwa ngokwasemthethweni kungakhokelela kubukrakra ngenxa yokuzisola. Ukwahlukana linyathelo nje ngaphambi koqhawulo-mtshato okanye umtshato obuyiselweyo.
Ukungxamela uqhawulo-mtshato akukuniki thuba lokuba ube nencoko kwaye uze kwisivumelwano ngenxa yolwalamano lwakho okanye abantwana.
4. Musa ukuthetha kakubi ngomlingane wakho phambi kwabantwana
Yintoni ongayenzi ngexesha lokwahlukana, xa abantwana bebandakanyeka?
Eli ayiloxesha lokuthetha kakubi ngeqabane lakho nabantwana ngenjongo yokuphumelela ukuthembela kwabo, endaweni yokuba lixesha elifanelekileyo lokuthetha nabo ukuze baqonde imeko kwaye ubaqinisekise ngothando lwakho.
Inkxaso yomlingane ibalulekile, ngakumbi xa ukhetha ukuba ngumzali ngokubambisana. Ukuba iqabane lakho liyavuma ukuba ngumzali, baxhase kuphuhliso lwabantwana.
Kwimeko apho iqabane liyala ukuthatha uxanduva, baxelele nje imeko ngaphandle kokuthetha kakubi ngeqabane lakho.
Musa ukubarhuqela abantwana kumngxunya wokwahlukana, kuba baphazamisekile nasemphefumlweni. Kungcono ukubavumela bakhule bamsulwa ngolwazi olusisiseko lokuhlala kumakhaya ahlukeneyo.
5. Ungaze uliyeke iqabane lakho ilungelo lokuba ngumzali ngokubambisana
Elinye lamaqhekeza abalulekileyo eengcebiso ngokwahlukana komtshato kukunika iqabane lakho ithuba lokuthatha indima yobuzali ngokuhambelana nesivumelwano.
Ukwahlukana kuphakathi kwenu nobabini.
Ke, phakathi kwemithetho yokwahlukana emtshatweni, kunye nobumdaka bamaphepha okwahlulahlula okanye ulondolozo lomlingane, kunyanzelekile ukuba ungabuchaphazeli ubumsulwa babantwana.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuthintela okuthile kuyacetyiswa ukuba uvumele iqabane ukuba lingaze lisebenzise abantwana ukuba banibuyise kunye ngaphandle kokusombulula imiba ebalulekileyo phakathi kwenu nobabini.
Ukubambisana njengomzali kunciphisa ithuba labantwana lokujamelana nokuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo ngenxa yokwahlukana kwenu.
Ngoku uyazi ukuba yintoni ongafanele uyenze ngexesha lokwahlukana zama ukwahlukana nomyeni wakho okanye iqabane lakho ngokuqolileyo. Unokulandela izikhokelo ezifanayo xa nahlukene kodwa nihlala kunye.
Jonga ividiyo enikezwe ngezantsi ukuze wazi izizathu ezinokubangela ukuba ulwalamano lusilele. Mhlawumbi ividiyo inokukunceda ukuba uvavanye imeko yakho ngcono kwaye uthathe inyathelo elifanelekileyo.
Ngelixa uhlala wedwa, thathela ingqalelo zonke izinto ezintle kunye nezokuhlala ungahlukani ukujonga ukuba usafuna ukuqhubeka nomtshato.
Unokukhetha ukulungisa ubudlelwane bakho ukuba nobabini ninqwenela ukuqhubeka nomtshato. Kwangelo xesha, khumbula ukuba ukwahlukana ixesha elide ngaphandle kophawu lwenkqubela phambili luphawu loqhawulo mtshato oluzayo.
Ke, sebenzisa ukuqonda kwakho ngoncedo lomcebisi wakho womtshato ukukukhokela kwesona sigqibo silungileyo somtshato wakho.