Umxholo
Lonke ulwalamano lunomdibaniso owahlukileyo weempawu ezibonisa ukuba ungubani njengesibini. Ungachaza okona kulungileyo kubudlelwane bakho "njengokonwaba", okanye "ukuthanda", okanye "ukusondelelana", okanye mhlawumbi "nisebenza kakuhle kunye" njengabazali namaqabane. Ulwalamano lwakho lufana nomnwe weminwe – into ekuzisela uvuyo kunye nokuphila ikhethekile kwaye yahlukile kuni nobabini.
Kwangelo xesha, kukho izinto ezithile endikholelwa ukuba ziyimfuneko kulo naluphi na ulwalamano ukuze luphumelele. Ukuba uyasokola emtshatweni wakho, kubaluleke ngakumbi ukuba usebenze kwezi ziseko. Kodwa nolona lwalamano lubalaseleyo lusebenzisa "ulungelelwaniso oluhle" ngamanye amaxesha. Ukuba bendinokukhetha izinto ezisisiseko ezi-3, ibiya kuba zezi: Ukwamkelwa, unxibelelwano, kunye nokuzibophelela
Iyacetyiswa- Gcina iKhosi yam yoMtshato
Ukwamkelwa
Esinye sezona zipho zibalaseleyo esinokuzinika iqabane lethu ngamava okwamkelwa ngokupheleleyo kunye nokuxatyiswa ngokuba bangoobani. Sivame ukuhlekisa ngabantu abazama ukutshintsha amaqabane abo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha siyasilela ukuthatha ngokungathí sina ifuthe loku kubo. Cinga ngabahlobo onabo, kunye nabantu osondeleyo kubo: Amathuba okuba, uzive ukhululekile kwaye ukhuselekile xa unabo, usazi ukuba unokuba nguwe kwaye uya (kuhlala!) Uthandwe kwaye uthandwe ngokuba ungubani. Ukuba unabantwana, cinga ngolonwabo abalufumanayo xa ubancumela, kwaye ubazise ukuba uyakuvuyela ukuba phakathi kwabo! Khawufane ucinge ukuba bekunokuba njani xa ubuphatha iqabane lakho ngale ndlela inye.
Eyona nto ihlala ifika endleleni kukugweba okungalunganga kunye nolindelo olungazalisekiswanga. Sifuna iqabane lethu lifane nathi-ukucinga ngendlela esicinga ngayo, sive indlela esivakalelwa ngayo, njalo njalo. Siyasilela ukwamkela inyani elula yokuba bahlukile kuthi! Kwaye sizama ukubatshintsha babe ngumfanekiso wethu wendlela esicinga ukuba kufanele ukuba babe ngayo. Le yindlela eqinisekileyo yokukhathazeka nokudana emtshatweni.
Cinga ke ngento oyigwebayo okanye uyigxeke malunga neqabane lakho. Zibuze: Ndisithathe phi esi sigwebo? Ngaba ndiyifundile kusapho lwam? Ngaba yinto endizigweba ngayo? Kwaye ubone ukuba yinto onokuyamkela kwaye uyixabise malunga neqabane lakho. Ukuba akunjalo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba kufuneka wenze isicelo malunga nokuziphatha okuthile ongathanda ukuba iqabane lakho litshintshe. Kodwa jonga ukuba ikhona na indlela yokwenza oku ngaphandle kokugxeka, ukuhlazeka, okanye ukugxeka (kubandakanya "ukugxeka okwakhayo"!).
"Ukwamkelwa ngokugqibeleleyo" kweqabane lakho sesinye seziseko zobudlelwane obomeleleyo.
Singaquka njengenxalenye yokwamkelwa:
- Ubuhlobo
- Uxabiso
- Uthando
- Intlonipho
Umdibaniso
Kwilizwe lethu elihamba ngokukhawuleza, olona celomngeni lukhulu kubantu abatshatileyo abahlangabezana nalo kukwenza ixesha kunye. Ukuba uhlala uxakekile emsebenzini okanye abantwana, oku kuyakongeza kumceli mngeni. Ukuba ufuna ukuphepha enye yezona zisongelo kubudlelwane – bokukhula kude- kufuneka yenze iphambili ukuchitha ixesha kunye. Kodwa nangaphezulu, ufuna ukuziva unxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo neqabane lakho. Oku kwenzeka xa sabelana ngokunzulu nangokuvulekileyo omnye nomnye.
Ke zibuze: Ngaba uyabonisa umdla kunye nomdla malunga neqabane lakho? Ngaba wabelana ngeemvakalelo ezinzulu, kubandakanya amaphupha akho kunye neminqweno yakho, kunye nokukhathazeka kunye nokudana kwakho? Ngaba niyenza ixesha lokumamelana ngokwenene, kwaye uvumele iqabane lakho lazi ukuba zezona ziphambili kuwe? Amathuba kukuba, wazenza ezi zinto ukuqala kwakho ukuthandana, kodwa ukuba benikunye kunye okwethutyana kungathatha injongo yokwenza njalo ngoku.
Ukuthandana omnye nomnye kuthetha ukubakho, nokunxibelelana nokuvuleleka nokuba sesichengeni. Ngaphandle koku, uthando luyaphela.
Singaquka njengenxalenye yoBukho:
- Ingqalelo
- Ukumamela
- Ukufuna ukwazi
- Ubukho
Ukuzibophelela
Ndihlala ndisithi kwizibini ezitshatileyo, "Kufuneka nimamkelane ngokupheleleyo, kwaye nizimisele ukutshintsha!". Ukuzibophelela ngokwenene licala elisezantsi "lokwamkelwa". Ngelixa sifuna ukubanakho ukuba “sisiqu sethu”, kufuneka sizinikele ekwenzeni konke okusemandleni ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zomnye nomnye, nokukhulisa ubudlelwane bethu. Ukuzibophelela okwenyani ayisosiganeko nje (okt, umtshato), kodwa yinto oyenzayo imihla ngemihla. Sizinikela kwinto ethile, kwaye sithatha inyathelo elifanelekileyo.
Cinga ngendlela ofuna ngayo ukuba kubudlelwane bakho:
- Ukuthanda?
- Uhlobo?
- Uyamkela?
- Umonde?
Kwaye kunokujongeka kanjani ukuba uzibophelele kwezi ndlela zokuba ubekho, kwaye uzenze zisebenze? Ukucaca malunga nendlela OFUNA ukuba yiyo, kunye nendlela othanda ukuba yiyo, kunye nokuzibophelela kwizinto zangaphambili linyathelo elibaluleke kakhulu. Emva koko, zibophelele ekuthatheni amanyathelo amancinci aya kuyenza inyani le. (By the way-zange ndaba nomnye umntu othi bafuna ukuba "ngumsindo, ukugxeka, ukuzikhusela, ukwenzakalisa", kodwa ke le yindlela esiqhele ukwenza ngayo.)
Yamkela into engenakutshintshwa, kwaye uzibophelele ekutshintsheni oko kunako.
Sinokubandakanya njengenxalenye yokuzibophelela:
- Imilinganiselo
- Intshukumo
- Umzamo olungileyo
- Ukukhulisa
Konke oku kunokubonakala ngathi kukuqonda, kwaye kunjalo! Kodwa kungumntu ukuphambuka kwinto esaziyo ukuba masiyenze, kwaye sonke sidinga izikhumbuzo. Ndiyathemba ukuba uyakufumana oku kuluncedo, kwaye kuya kuthatha ixesha ukunika ubudlelwane bakho ingqalelo ebufaneleyo.
Ndinqwenela Uthando noVuyo!