Ubugcisa bokulungisa: Kutheni iiNkcazo zoLungiso zibaluleke kakhulu kubudlelwane

Umbhali: Peter Berry
Umhla Wokudalwa: 17 Eyekhala 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 23 Isilimela 2024
Anonim
Ubugcisa bokulungisa: Kutheni iiNkcazo zoLungiso zibaluleke kakhulu kubudlelwane - I-Psychology
Ubugcisa bokulungisa: Kutheni iiNkcazo zoLungiso zibaluleke kakhulu kubudlelwane - I-Psychology

Umxholo

"Uxolo, yithi uxolo, cela uxolo ..." Ulive kangaphi eli binzana ukhula? Sihlala sifundisa abantwana ukubaluleka kokusebenzisa iingxelo ezinjalo zokulungisa ukuze kulungiswe ubudlelwane xa iimvakalelo zomntu zenzakele, okanye bekukho isenzo esenze ingozi kwimpilo yolwalamano. Kodwa ngaba siwenza lo msebenzi wokulungisa xa kukho ikhefu kwiibhonkco zokuncamathisela kulwalamano lwethu nabantu abadala? Emva kobuntwana, igama elithi 'ukulungiswa' linokuhlala linxulunyaniswa nokulungisa isixhobo esaphukileyo okanye i-elektroniki endaweni yokunceda ubudlelwane buqhagamsheleke kwakhona emva kwengxabano. Ngelixa isidingo salo msebenzi wokulungisa kubudlelwane sihlala sibalulekile kwimpilo yonke yobudlelwane, amagama alula athi “Ndiyaxolisa” kunye nokuziphatha okusebenzise ukusombulula ungquzulwano kwibala lokudlala kungasilela ekufezekiseni injongo enye yokuqhagamshela kwakhona emva kwengxabano ubudlelwane babantu abadala.


Kutheni le nto sifuna iingxelo zokulungiswa

Okukhona sifumana amava ebomini, kokukhona sizisa ezethu iintlungu namava kwimpixano nganye entsha, sisonyusa into efunekayo kwiingxelo zokulungisa ukuze sizive sisisombululo esifanayo kunye nengqondo yokuqinisekiswa. Nangona kunjalo, ebudaleni, sikwanamathuba okuphepha ungquzulwano kunye nokudlula kulungiso lomsebenzi, sikhokelela kulwalamano lwethu ukuba lubandezeleke. Kwiimeko ezininzi, ayingomnqweno olahlekileyo wokugcina ubudlelwane obunempilo obuthintela ukwenziwa rhoqo komsebenzi wokulungisa, kodwa ishedyuli ezixakekileyo, ukukhathazeka kwimizamo yexesha elidlulileyo, okanye ukungaqiniseki kwendlela yokwenza malunga nokulungisa ngokwenyani ikhefu kwiipatheni zokuncamathisela okunempilo xa kuvela iingxabano. Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu, xa ubudlelwane bungawufumani lo msebenzi wokulungisa rhoqo, amaqabane aya esanda kunqanyulwa kwaye anomsindo omnye komnye.

Impixano, ngokwendalo, iphazamisa iipatheni zokuncamathisela ezisenza siziva sikhuselekile, sikhuselekile kwaye sikhathalelwe kubudlelwane. Iingxelo zokulungisa ngala mabinzana okanye iintshukumo ezinceda ubudlelwane babuyele kwindawo yozinzo kunye nokhuseleko emva kwengxabano. Njengalo naluphi na ulungiso olulungileyo, owona msebenzi ulungileyo wokulungisa wenziwa njengenxalenye yolondolozo lobuhlobo rhoqo kunokuba ulinde de kuchithakale ngokupheleleyo. Ke endaweni yokulinda kude kube ngumlo omkhulu olandelayo okanye iseshoni yonyango yezibini ezilandelayo, cela umngeni ekuziqheliseni nobugcisa bokulungisa usebenzisa ezi ngcebiso zintlanu; ubudlelwane bakho buya kubulela kuwe.


1. Bonisa ukuQonda kweMpendulo yeQabane lakho kwimpixano

Sineendlela ezahlukeneyo zokuncamathisela ezikhula ngaphezulu kobomi bethu, esikhokelela ekuphenduleni kwimpikiswano eyahlukileyo. Kweminye, xa ungquzulwano luvela phakathi kobudlelwane kukho umnqweno wokuchitha ixesha wedwa kunye nokwahlukana ngokwasemzimbeni. Ukanti abanye banomnqweno onamandla wokusondela emzimbeni ukunceda ukunciphisa ungquzulwano loxinzelelo oludala. Ukuqonda iimpendulo zangaphakathi zeqabane lakho kwimpixano kuluncedo ekuzibandakanyeni nomsebenzi wokulungisa ohlangabezana ngokufanelekileyo neemfuno zeqabane lakho. Oku kukwabonelela ngethuba lokulalanisa kunye nokuqala ukulungisa ibhulorho ukuphinda uqhagamshele ubudlelwane obusondeleyo emva kwengxabano. Umzekelo, ukuba elinye iqabane linempendulo yendawo ebonakalayo ngelixa elinye linqwenela ukusondela emzimbeni, ungasebenza njani ukufezekisa zombini iinjongo njengamaqabane? Mhlawumbi nihlala nithe cwaka kunye emva kwengxabano ukuze nihlangabezane nemfuno yokusondela emzimbeni, ngelixa nihlonipha imfuno yokucinga ngaphakathi ngokuthula. Okanye mhlawumbi ukhetha ukunikela ixesha apho uzinikezela khona ngaphambi kokuba ujonge ukubuyela kunye emsebenzini wokulungisa. Ukuqonda ezi mpendulo zethuku emva kongquzulwano ngumba ophambili wokulungisa kuba kufuneka sibesendaweni yokufumana iingxelo zokulungisa.


2. Idilesi yomyalezo opheleleyo osuswe kwimeko

Xa uxolo luthintelwe kwisenzo esibangele ungquzulwano okanye iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu, ukuqinisekiswa okuncinci kunikwa amava omnye. Umzekelo, amaxesha amaninzi ayisiyiyo yokuba ufike emva kwexesha kwisidlo sangokuhlwa, okanye nokuba yeyiphi na imeko, kodwa ngenxa yokuba ufike kade kwisidlo sangokuhlwa iqabane lakho lasusa umyalezo malunga nokulibala kwakho malunga neqabane lakho kunye / okanye ubudlelwane. Imiyalezo enjalo ingavakala ngathi, “Xa ufike emva kwexesha kwisidlo, indenza ndizive ndingabalulekanga.” Ukuba sinokuwuqonda umyalezo osuswe kwimeko ekhokelele kwiimvakalelo ezibuhlungu kunye nembambano, sinokuhlangabezana ngcono neemfuno zamaqabane ethu ngokuthetha ngqo nale miyalezo. Ndicela uxolo ngokufika emva kwexesha, ”atsho aphele xa ethelekiswa no“ ndiyaxolisa ngokwenza ukuba uzive ungabalulekanga. ” Ngcono nangakumbi, landela ingxelo yokulungisa ngomyalezo onqwenela ukuba iqabane lakho libambe. Umzekelo, "andingekhe ndikwenze uzive ungabalulekanga, ndiyakuthanda kwaye ndikukhathalele."

3. Nika isiqinisekiso nokungqinisisa

Asinakukhetha ukuba iqabane lethu livakalelwa njani okanye lihlangabezana njani nemeko, kwaye ngokuchaseneyo. Inxalenye yomsebenzi wokulungisa kubudlelwane kukufumana ukuqonda. Ukuvumelana ngendlela ezenzeka ngayo iimeko okanye ukungqubana akubalulekanga kangako kunokufumana umhlaba oqhelekileyo wothando nemfesane emva komsitho. Ngelixa usenokuba ukhe wahlangabezana nemeko eyahlukileyo, hlonipha kwaye uqinisekise ukuba amava eqabane lakho ayinyani kwaye ayinyani kubo. Nje ukuba umntu azive nokuba uzama ukuqonda, kukho ukuvuleka kokuzibandakanya ngakumbi ukulungisa ukuphazamiseka kuncamathiselo kunye nokusondelelana kulwalamano.

4. Iingxelo zakho zokulungisa zahlukile kule meko ikhoyo ngoku

Omnye wemibandela oza ngokutsho nje “ndiyaxolisa” okanye naliphi na elinye ibinzana eliqheleke kubudlelwane, kukuba, kwinto eqhelekileyo, siqala ukuyifumana njengengamanyaniyo kunye nokuzama ukucenga kunokuba sikhulise. Okukhona ukwazi ukubonisa ukuqonda kwamava akho omntu ngamnye kwimpixano, kokukhona uya kuba nakho ukubonisa ukhathalelo, kunye nomnqweno wokukhuthaza ubudlelwane obuqinileyo. Ngokukodwa kubudlelwane bexesha elide, imixholo iya kuvela kwimiyalezo engundoqo amaqabane athambekele ekuthatheni kude kwiingxabano ezithile. Ngelixa olu lwazi lunokuba luncedo, lunokukhokelela kukungoneliseki kunye nelahleko yokuziva unexabiso ekuvakaliseni ezo ngxelo zilungisiweyo. Nangona ungqubano unokuziva uqhelekile, le meko ikhoyo ngoku intsha. Iqabane lakho liyazi kuphela ngezenzo zakho, hayi injongo yezenzo ezinjalo, amagama abalulekileyo anento ebalulekileyo, ngakumbi ubudlelwane buqhubeka ngokuhamba kwexesha. Khetha amagama ajongene nefuthe longquzulwano lwangoku ukuze uhlangabezane neemfuno ezikhoyo kubudlelwane bakho.

5. Iingxelo zokulungisa kufuneka zenzeke rhoqo

Ubudlelwane bunokufaniswa nomdaniso. Kuthatha ixesha kunye nokuziqhelanisa nokufunda iqabane lakho kunye nendlela abahamba ngayo kwaye basebenze ngayo, kwaye kukho ubugcisa bokufumana isingqisho sakho njengeqela. Yiyo loo nto umsebenzi wokulungisa osebenzayo kubudlelwane ungenakuba yinto engafane yenzeke kwaye yexeshana. Kuthatha ixesha, ukubuza imibuzo, kunye nokuziqhelanisa nokufunda ngeqabane lakho kwaye ufumane elakho igama malunga nendlela yokwenza umsebenzi wokulungisa. Ngokufanelekileyo, iingxelo zokulungisa ziya kwenzeka emva kwako konke ukuphazamiseka kwiipatheni zokuncamathisela, nokuba kujongeka ngathi ngumlo omkhulu okanye iqabane liziva linqanyuliwe kubudlelwane ngenxa yosuku olubi emsebenzini. Umsebenzi wokulungisa ubonelela ngemiyalezo yokuba ubalulekile, kwaye ubudlelwane bubalulekile. Le yimiyalezo ekufuneka inikwe rhoqo kwaye ifunyanwe ukukhuthaza iziqhoboshelo ezisempilweni, ezikhokelela kulwalamano olusempilweni.