Ngowuphi Unyaka Womtshato Uqhawulo-mtshato luqheleke

Umbhali: Peter Berry
Umhla Wokudalwa: 19 Eyekhala 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 18 Isilimela 2024
Anonim
Ngowuphi Unyaka Womtshato Uqhawulo-mtshato luqheleke - I-Psychology
Ngowuphi Unyaka Womtshato Uqhawulo-mtshato luqheleke - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Nokuba utshatile kutshanje okanye ubhiyozela isikhumbuzo sakho sedayimani, abantu banokutshintsha indlela abavakalelwa ngayo ngomnye nomnye. Ngelishwa, nokuba yinkqubo ecothayo yokuphelelwa luthando okanye utshintsho olukhawulezileyo lwentliziyo esekwe kwisiganeko esingalindelwanga, inokubangela umtshato owawubonakala ngathi umiselwe ukusinda kuvavanyo lwexesha ukuwa ngobusuku.

Izifundo zamva nje zibonisile ukuba e-US, phantse i-50% yemitshato yokuqala iyasilela, malunga ne-60% yemitshato yesibini, kunye ne-73% yemitshato yesithathu!

Ngelixa imitshato (kunye nobudlelwane, ngokubanzi) zingenakulindeleka, kwaye amava umhlobo wakho okanye ilungu losapho adlula kulo linokwahluka kakhulu kunelakho, amanani-manani asenokwalatha kumaxesha athile anokuba yeyona minyaka inzima yomtshato, kunye nokuzithemba okuphezulu mtshato.


Makhe sijonge ukuba ngowuphi unyaka womtshato oqhelekileyo uqhawulo-mtshato, umndilili weminyaka yomtshato, kwaye uchukumise izizathu zokuba umtshato ungaqhekeka, kunye neenkcukacha zomtshato ezimbalwa ezinomdla.

Nguwuphi uNyaka woMtshato oQhelekileyo woQhawulo-mtshato?

Ngokuhamba kwexesha, izifundo ezininzi zesayensi zenziwe malunga nowuphi unyaka womtshato uqhawulo mtshato oluxhaphakileyo kunye nexesha lomtshato, ngokubanzi.

Ke, imitshato emininzi isilela nini? Nguwuphi owona nyaka uqhelekileyo woqhawulo mtshato?

Ngelixa kunqabile ukuba banike iziphumo ezifanayo, kuyabonakala ukuba kukho amaxesha amabini exesha lomtshato apho uqhawulo-mtshato lwenzeka ngesona sihlandlo sikhulu- kwiminyaka emibini yokuqala yomtshato naphakathi kwesihlanu ukuya kwesibhozo iminyaka yomtshato.

Nakula maxesha mabini abasemngciphekweni omkhulu, kuyaqondakala ukuba eyona minyaka inobungozi kumtshato ophakathi yiminyaka esixhenxe nesibhozo.

Ngelixa idatha inokukhanyisa ukuba ngowuphi unyaka womtshato oqhelekileyo uqhawulo mtshato, kunye neminyaka eyingozi kakhulu emtshatweni, ayinakwenza nto ukucacisa ngoba obu bubude obuqhelekileyo bomtshato ngaphambi komtshato.


Ngelixa izizathu zoqhawulo-mtshato lwezibini zikhulu, bekufundwa ngaphambili. Kwaye kwandiswa yifilimu ka-Marilyn Monroe yowe-1950, u-Itch Year Year, amadoda nabasetyhini bahamba ngomdla ophelileyo kubudlelwane obuzinikeleyo emva kweminyaka esixhenxe yomtshato.

Ngelixa ukuthembeka "kokurhawuzelelwa kweminyaka esixhenxe" ngokungathandabuzekiyo kungangqinwa, kubonakala ngathi kuyingcamango enomdla edla ngokuqiniswa yidatha yokwenyani yokuba ngowuphi unyaka womtshato oqhawule umtshato.

Iphakamisa ukuba ubude bexesha eliphakathi lomtshato wokuqala ophela kuqhawulo mtshato ziintloni nje zeminyaka esibhozo kwaye yiminyaka esixhenxe yemitshato yesibini.

Yeyiphi Iminyaka Yomtshato Ngaba Uqhawulo-mtshato luqheleke?

Kuyathakazelisa ukuqaphela ukuba abantu abatshatileyo ubudlelwane babo obusinda kwiminyaka esixhenxe itch badla ukonwabela ixesha elimalunga neminyaka esixhenxe ngenqanaba elingaphantsi komndilili woqhawulo mtshato.


Ngelixa idatha ichaza ngokucacileyo ukuba ngowuphi unyaka womtshato oqheleke kakhulu, kukwakukholelwa ukuba ixesha, ukusukela kunyaka wesithoba ukuya kunyaka weshumi elinesihlanu lomtshato, linikezela ngesiqhelo esisezantsi soqhawulo-mtshato ngezizathu ezininzi.

Oku kubandakanya ukwaneliseka okuphuculweyo kunye nolwalamano, njengoko beba lula ngakumbi kwimisebenzi yabo, indlu kunye nabantwana.

Ayisiyongxaki, inqanaba loqhawulo-mtshato liqala ukuncipha unyaka nonyaka, ukuqala ngonyaka weshumi. Kungenzeka ukuba ulindelo olusengqiqweni kulwalamano olunokufezekiswa kuphela ngexesha kunye namava ngoncedo kweli nqanaba loqhawulo mtshato.

Malunga nomtshato iminyaka elishumi elinesihlanu, amanqanaba oqhawulo-mtshato ayayeka ukwehla kwaye aqale ukuhla, kwaye ahlala enjalo ixesha elide, ecebisa ukuba elixesha libonwa “lenyanga yesibini” (iminyaka yomtshato elishumi ukuya kwelishumi elinesihlanu) ayihlali ngonaphakade.

Ezi zifundo zikhankanywe apha ngasentla zichaza ukuba ngowuphi unyaka womtshato uqhawulo-mtshato uqheleke kakhulu kunye neminyaka engqina ukuqhawuka komtshato. Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele izinto ezahlukeneyo ezibangela ukuba umtshato ungaphumeleli. Makhe sijonge:

Izizathu eziqhelekileyo zokuba imitshato inokungaphumeleli

1. Izizathu zemali

Sonke siyalazi ikhowuti, "Imali yingcambu yabo bonke ububi," kwaye okulusizi kukuba iyinyani nasekhaya.

Nokuba kukulwa kosapho olunengeniso ephantsi malunga nendlela eza kuhlawulwa ngayo iindleko, okanye usapho olukumgangatho ophakathi oluzama ukugcina ukubonakala emva kokuphulukana nomondli, uxinzelelo lwezezimali kunye namatyala kunokubeka uxinzelelo olungenakoyiswa kwizibini ezininzi ezitshatileyo. .

Oku kuye kwabhengezwa ngokukodwa kwi-2020 ngokudodobala kwezoqoqosho okubangelwa yiCoronavirus, kunye nokudilizwa kwabantu abaninzi, iifolokhwe kunye nokuvalwa kweshishini ngenxa yayo.

Njengokuba izigidi zamakhaya ngoku zijamelene nesoyikiso sokuhluthwa, ukugxothwa, kunye nabatyalwayo bezama ukuqokelela ematyaleni, le mithwalo itshabalalisa amawaka emitshato ebekade onwabile.

2. Izicwangciso ezahlukeneyo zexesha elizayo

Phantse akukho mntu ungomnye umntu kwiminyaka engama-40 ubudala njengoko babeneminyaka engama-30 okanye engama-20, njalo njalo. Wonke umntu uneenjongo ezahlukeneyo nezicwangciso zekamva ngokunjalo.

Inokwenzeka into yokuba indoda nomfazi abathandanayo benamashumi amabini kwaye batshata bobabini bakhula bekhula bengabantu abahluke kakhulu abaneminqweno eyahlukileyo, kwangoko nje kwiminyaka embalwa kamva.

Xa oku kusenzeka, ubudlelwane obukonwaba ngaphambili bunokugqitywa kude kube kuphela kwesisombululo.

Kunokubakho iimeko apho umfazi efuna ukuba nabantwana abaninzi, kwaye umyeni wakhe uthatha isigqibo sokuba akafuni bantwana kwaphela. Okanye mhlawumbi indoda ifumana umsebenzi kwelinye icala lelizwe, kwaye umfazi wayo akafuni ukushiya isixeko abakuso.

Imibono eyahlukeneyo ngekamva phakathi kwamaqabane inokuthi ichaze ukutshatyalaliswa komtshato.

3. Ukunganyaniseki

Kwihlabathi eligqibeleleyo, yonke imitshato iya kuba ne-monogamous eyodwa (ngaphandle kwezibini ezivumayo ukuba zibandakanye abantu bangaphandle kumava abo okuthandana), kwaye akukho madoda okanye abafazi abaya kuba lixhoba "lokujikeleza."

Ngelishwa, abanye abantu bayayekelela iminqweno yabo, kwaye ukungathembeki phakathi kwabantu abatshatileyo akuqhelekanga. Ngapha koko, uphononongo lwamva nje lwezibini zaseMelika zibonisa ukuba ama-20% ukuya kuma-40% abantu abatshatileyo abatshatileyo kunye ne-20% ukuya kuma-25% yabasetyhini abatshatileyo abaza kutshata nabo ngexesha lokuphila kwabo.

Ingxaki ngo-in-in-law (okanye amanye amalungu osapho)

Xa usenza isigqibo sokutshata, kuya kufuneka uqaphele ukuba awufumani nje iqabane. Ufumana lonke usapho lwesibini. Ukuba awuhambelani nosapho lweqabane lakho, kunokubangela iintloko ezininzi kubo bonke ababandakanyekayo.

Ukuba izisombululo okanye ulungelelwaniso alunakusonjululwa, kwaye ubudlelwane phakathi kwakho nomnye (okanye uninzi) lwamalungu osapho lweqabane lakho, okanye ubudlelwane phakathi kweqabane lakho kunye nelungu losapho lwakho bungabonakala bunetyhefu engenakuphikiswa, buphelisa ubudlelwane bunokuthi ube sisisombululo sokwenyani.

5. Ukuphulukana noQhagamshelo

Ngokungafaniyo nezibini ezithi zikhule ngokwahlukana ngenxa yezicwangciso ezahlukeneyo zexesha elizayo, ngamanye amaxesha akusoloko kukho isizathu esithile, esinye nesinye esinokukhokelela kwisibini esitshatileyo sithandane kwaye ekugqibeleni sahlukane.

Ilishwa eliyinyani kukuba ayisiyiyo yonke into eyenzelwe ubudlelwane ukuba ime uvavanyo lwexesha, kwaye abantu ababini ababekhathalelana kakhulu banokuluva kancinci uthando ukuba luphuma ezintliziyweni zabo.

Izinto ebezisenziwa liqabane lakho ocinga ukuba zintle ngoku ziye zacaphukisa, kwaye abantu ababini ebebengaze bafune ukuphuma kwizinto abazibonayo ngoku abanakuma ukuba balale ebhedini enye.

Ukuphulukana nonxibelelwano kunokwenzeka ngokukhawuleza, kodwa ngakumbi, kwenzeka ngokuthe chu ekuhambeni kweminyaka. Nangona kunjalo, iyazibonakalisa; ihlala ichaza intlekele emtshatweni.

Kwividiyo engezantsi, uSharon Pope uchaza ubunzima bomtshato oqhawuliweyo kwaye unikezela ngeengcebiso zokuwulungisa. Ucacisa ukuba ukunqunyulwa akuyi kusombululwa ngomlingo. Esi sibini kuya kufuneka sicele umngeni kwiinkolelo zethu kwaye senze utshintsho ngokufanelekileyo.

Zeziphi izinto ezinxulumene nomngcipheko ophezulu woqhawulo mtshato?

Umbono wexesha elide woqhawulo-mtshato uphazanyiswa zizinto ezithile ezikhokelela emtshatweni omangalisayo. Amaqabane akahlali nje kuphela phantsi kwesambulela sokungathandani, kodwa bajongene nomngcipheko ophezulu woqhawulo mtshato.

Ezinye zezinto ezibonisa izibini kumathuba aphezulu oqhawulo mtshato zezi:

  • Umtshato wokuqala okanye wobuntwana

Kukho umngcipheko wokungqubana xa kufikwa kumtshato wokuqala. Njengokuba isibini sihamba, ungquzulwano kunye nokwahluka kuyakhula, kukhokelela kukungabikho kwembeko kunye nokungakwazi ukonwaba kunye.

  • Ukukhulelwa kwasekuqaleni

Ukukhulelwa kwasekuqaleni kukwasebenza njengento ebalulekileyo kuqhawulo mtshato. Oku kubulala iqhina elinokubakho kunye. Ke ngoko, abantu abatshatileyo banamathuba ambalwa okuqonda okufanelekileyo, ngakumbi ukuba abayazi le nto.

  • Iingxaki zesondo zeqabane

Kakhulu, xa iimfuno zesondo zeqabane elinye zingonelisekanga emtshatweni, oko kwandisa amathuba oqhawulo-mtshato njengoko ukusondelelana, kuba yinto ebalulekileyo emtshatweni, kungazalisekanga.

  • Ukuxhatshazwa ekhaya

Naluphi na uhlobo loxinzelelo lweemvakalelo okanye ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni alwamkelekanga emtshatweni. Kwaye ukuba elinye iqabane liye labhengeza kwaye lazisa, yinto ebalulekileyo ekufuneni uqhawulo-mtshato.

  • Iziphumo ngokweemvakalelo zoqhawulo-mtshato lwabazali

Uninzi lwabantu alunakho ukufikelela kwimigudu eyenzakalisayo yokubona abazali babo bohlukene, nto leyo ihlala ibonisa kulwalamano lwabo. Oku kubangela ukungakhathali, kwaye abakwazi ukuphatha ulwalamano lwabo.

Izibalo zoqhawulo mtshato ezinomdla

Sele sixoxe ngamanani maninzi kule bhlog malunga neepesenti zenqanaba loqhawulo-mtshato, kunye nemihla yokuqhawulwa komtshato yeyona nto ixhaphakileyo, kodwa makhe sijonge kwezinye izinto ezinomdla, kwaye mhlawumbi ziyamangalisa, ixesha lokutshata ixesha elide lomtshato.

  • Elona xesha liqhelekileyo lokuqhawula umtshato izibini zineminyaka engama-30 ubudala
  • E-US kuphela, kukho uqhawulo-mtshato olunye phantse kwimizuzwana engama-36
  • Abantu balinda umndilili weminyaka emithathu emva koqhawulo-mtshato ngaphambi kokuphinda batshate
  • I-6% yezibini eziqhawule umtshato zigqiba ukutshata kwakhona

Ngaba uyazi ukuba imitshato ihlala ixesha elingakanani kumazwe ahlukeneyo kwaye yeyiphi ipesenti yemitshato eyahlulekayo?

Amazwe anamaqondo aphezulu oqhawulo mtshato abandakanya: iArkansas, iNevada, iOklahoma, iWyoming, neAlaska, kwaye amazwe anexabiso eliphantsi loqhawulo mtshato aquka: Iowa, Illinois, Massachusetts, Texas, and Maryland.

Xa uqhawulo-mtshato luvavanywa kwingingqi, kubonakala ngathi izinga loqhawulo-mtshato ngonyaka womtshato liphezulu eMzantsi, apho amadoda ali-10.2 kunye nabasetyhini abayi-11.1 kubantu abali-1 000 baqhawula umtshato minyaka le, kwaye asezantsi eMpuma-mpuma we-US, apho amadoda angama-7.2 kunye nabafazi abayi-7.5 kubantu abali-1 000 abaqhawula umtshato minyaka le.

Yintoni omele uyenze ukuba unomtshato osokolayo

Emva kokuqonda ukuba ngowuphi unyaka womtshato oqheleke kakhulu kuqhawulo-mtshato, kubalulekile ukuthatha amanyathelo okwakha isiseko esomeleleyo. Ukuze ugcine umtshato kumakhamandela oqhawulo-mtshato, thatha la manyathelo alandelayo:

  1. Yamkela ukhetho kunye neemvakalelo zeqabane lakho
  2. Seka unxibelelwano olomeleleyo
  3. Ziqhelise ukunyaniseka kubudlelwane
  4. Kulumkele ukucinga
  5. Misela imigaqo emitsha yolwalamano

Nokuba uhlala phi okanye uneminyaka emingaphi utshatile, ngoku ekubeni uyiqonda ngakumbi iminyaka yomtshato apho uqhawulo-mtshato lunokwenzeka khona, wena neqabane lakho ninokusebenza nzima nangakumbi ngala maxesha anokubakho ukuzama ukunxibelelana kwaye ngenene ubeke umsebenzi wokwakha kunye nokugcina umtshato ophilileyo ubomi.