Umxholo
- Intsingiselo yokuba semathandweni
- Iimpawu zokuba sothandweni
- Ukuthetha ngokuphandle nangokunyaniseka
- Ithemba
- Ukuxhomekeka
- Ukuzibophelela
- Ukuziva wanelisekile
- Ukwabelana ngomthwalo
- 1. Mamela oko bakuthethayo
- 2. Bona izenzo zabo
- 3. Iimpawu ezingezizo zomlomo
- Ukuhlakulela uthando yonke imihla
- Ukuzibala kubalulekile
- Ulwalamano lwakho lithuba elihle lokufunda
- Veza umbulelo wakho
- Isiphelo
Uthando yinto engaqondakaliyo nebanzi. Kunzima kakhulu ukuphendula ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba sothandweni. Zininzi iindlela apho abantu abanjengabazobi, iingcali zengqondo, iimvumi, kunye nababhali, bezamile ukuchaza ukuba bayathandana.
Kukho iingcamango ezininzi ngothando eziye zazama ukuchaza umxholo, zichaze izizathu, iintlobo, iziphumo, njalo njalo. Ithiyori kaRobert Sternberg yothando yenye yeengcamango ezidumileyo ezichaza iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zothando.
Kuthetha ukuthini ukuba sothandweni? Ngaba unayo umntu okhethekileyo ebomini bakho ocinga ukuba uthandana naye? Ngaba uziva udidekile malunga nokuba uyamthanda loo mntu okanye "uyathandana" naloo mntu?
Ngaba uyazibuza ukuba ingaba luthando kunye nentabatheko eziimpawu gabalala zesigaba sokuqala salo naluphi na ulwalamano lothando? Ukuba nayiphi na okanye yonke le mibuzo igcwele ingqondo ngoku, ungakhathazeki! Eli nqaku lilapha lakho. Eli nqaku lixoxa ngayo yonke into enxulumene nothando.
Wazi njani ukuba luthando na, uziva njani ukuba uthandana nomnye umntu obalulekileyo, indlela yokuhlakulela uthando, indlela yokuncokola neqabane lakho malunga nokuthandana, kunye nokujonga ukuba iqabane lakho livakalelwa ngokufanayo indlela, njalo njalo?
Thatha umoya omninzi kwaye uqhubeke nokufunda eli nqaku, kwaye ngethemba kunokukunceda ufumane ukucacelwa okungakumbi.
Intsingiselo yokuba semathandweni
Ukuvezwa kwabantu ngokwaneleyo kwimithombo yeendaba, uncwadi, ubugcisa, kunye nomculo ngothando kunempembelelo enkulu kwinkolelo yabo yokuba sothandweni.
Uninzi lwabantu luziva ngathi luyenzeka kanye njengoko kubonisiwe kwimiboniso bhanyabhanya- uziva iziqhushumbisi ezivela kule kiss yokuqala, uziva ngathi ixesha limile, ujongana neliso kwigumbi elinabantu abaninzi, kwaye uyazi nje.
Kodwa, masibe yinyani ngomzuzwana: ngaba kunje kubomi bokwenyani? Ngaba oku kuyamangalisa kwaye kuyacaca? Kuthetha ukuthini ukuba sothandweni ebomini bokwenyani? Ungaluchaza njani uthando?
Kwilizwe lokwenyani, ukuqonda ukuba uyathandana okanye akunjalo mhlawumbi kuyacaca ngakumbi kwaye kuyinkimbinkimbi. Emva kokuba isigaba esithandekayo sasemva komtshato wakho sithandana siphelile, ukuba sothandweni yimvakalelo entle enesiphumo sokudityaniswa kwezinto ezimbini.
Okokuqala nokuphambili, xa ubudlelwane bakho neqabane lakho ligcwele zizenzo ezibonisa uthando, kwaye okwesibini, xa uziva uqhagamshelo olomeleleyo kubuntu bakho, isini, kunye nobuchule bokuyila, kwaye uzisa obu buchule kwiqabane lakho.
Ukuqonda oku kubambekayo kwaye, ngelishwa, umbono wobomi bokwenyani obuncinci wothando, kungcono ukuqonda ezinye zeempawu zokuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuthandana.
Iimpawu zokuba sothandweni
Xa uthandana neqabane lakho, ukuze wazi ukuba uyathandana na, jonga ezi mpawu zilandelayo ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuthandana:
Abantu abathandanayo banokwabelana ngokukhululekileyo ngeenkcukacha ezisondeleyo malunga nabo. Imvakalelo yokuvuleka kunye nokuba sesichengeni kubaluleke kakhulu.
Ukuthemba kubaluleke kakhulu. Abantu abathandanayo bacacile kwaye bathembekile kwaye bagcina ezona zilungileyo kumaqabane abo.
Kukho ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo, kwezentlalo nakwezemali phakathi kwamaqabane athandanayo. Ukuxhomekeka omnye komnye kuthetha ukuba nobabini niyayiqonda indima yomnye kubudlelwane kwaye nisebenza kunye ngendlela enentsingiselo.
Ukuzibophelela yenye into ebalulekileyo kwiimvakalelo zothando. Xa isibini sithandana, bafuna ukuhlala kunye nabanye ekuhambeni kwexesha kwaye babone ikamva kunye.
Uziva unelisekile malunga nokwenza nokuba yeyiphi na imisebenzi yesiqhelo kunye nekruqulayo kubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla kunye neqabane lakho.
Ufuna ukwenza imisebenzi eyahlukeneyo njengokupheka, ukuya kwipaki yokonwabisa, ukuya ezivenkileni, njalo njalo, kunye kunye nezinto zakho ezincinci zikhumbuza ezinye zakho ezibalulekileyo.
Ezi zezinye zeempawu ezicacileyo eziphendula ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba sothandweni.
Ukufunda okunxulumene noko: 4 Iimpawu ezicacileyo zokuba useThandweni
Ukuqonda ngcono imiqondiso yothando lokwenene, jonga kule vidiyo:
Ngaba iimvakalelo ziyafana? Incoko kunye nezinye zakho ezibalulekileyo
Ngoku ukuba ukuqonde ngcono ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba sothandweni, ungafuna ukuqonda ukuba uthando lukhangeleka njani kwiqabane lakho. Ukuba ucacile apho ume khona, kubalulekile ukuba ubone ukuba iqabane lakho liyaziphindezela na ezo mvakalelo.
Ke, ukuthandana kuthetha ntoni kwiqabane lakho? Ngaba bathandana nawe? Mhlawumbi ufuna ukukhangela imiqondiso yokuqinisekisa ngaphambi kokuba uthi "Ndiyakuthanda" kubo.
Nazi ezinye zeendlela onokuthi uqonde ukuba iqabane lakho livakalelwa ngendlela efanayo ngawe:
1. Mamela oko bakuthethayo
Le yenye yeendlela ezizezona zibubudenge zokufumanisa ukuba iqabane lakho livakalelwa njani ngawe. Kuya kufuneka uphulaphule ngenyameko kwaye uhambelane namanye amagama akho abalulekileyo.
Ukuba iqabane lakho liyakuthanda ukuthetha ngekamva lakho kunye malunga nendawo eniza kuhlala kuyo nobabini, yeyiphi imoto eniza kuba nayo, bangaphi abantwana / abafuna kunye nawe, njl, luphawu olulungileyo.
Ukuba umntu othandana naye okanye intombi yakho iyathetha ngekamva kunye nawe kuyo, uyazi ukuba bayabona ukuba lixesha elide kubudlelwane.
Enye into ebalulekileyo yindlela abathetha ngayo ngawe. Ukuba bayathanda ukuthetha malunga neenkalo ezithile zobuntu bakho, ngomnye umqondiso omkhulu.
2. Bona izenzo zabo
Kuyinyani ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba isenzo somntu sisibonakaliso sokwenyani somlinganiswa kunye neenjongo zabo. Umntu unokuthetha izinto ezininzi, kodwa into abayenzayo yeyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu.
Ke khumbula ukuba iqabane lakho liziphatha njani nawe. Ngaba iqabane lakho likho ecaleni kwakho xa ufuna inkxaso? Ngaba bayamamela xa unencoko kunye nabo, nokuba urhabaxa ngento engekhoyo?
Xa unosuku olubi, bayazi kwaye benze izinto ezikunceda uzive ungcono? Indlela elula yokuchaza ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba sothandweni kukubona ukuba nobabini niyazifaka kulomzamo ungaphezulu okanye nisebenzele ukubakhona omnye nomnye.
3. Iimpawu ezingezizo zomlomo
Eli nqaku lihamba ngaphezulu nangaphaya kokuziphatha kunye nezenzo zabo. Konke oku malunga neempawu zomlingane wakho ezingathethiyo. Iimpawu ezingathethiyo ziquka ulwimi lomzimba, imbonakalo yobuso, njalo njalo. Imalunga nendlela abenza ngayo kwinkampani yakho.
Inxalenye enkulu yokuqonda ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba sothandweni kukuba kukuzithemba kwakho okwenyani malunga neqabane lakho kunye nokunye. Gxila kwindlela iqabane lakho elizibambe ngayo kuwe. Ngaba ucinga ukuba ungokwemvelo okanye ubuxoki?
Ngaba iqabane lakho ngumntu owahlukileyo xa bekunye nabahlobo okanye izalamane zakho? Ngaba iqabane lakho livuya ngokwenene ukukubona? Ngaba bahlala bejongana namehlo? Ngaba imeko yakhe ikhululekile kodwa inomdla ekungqongileyo?
Ngaba bayangana baze baniphuze xa nidibana nobabini? Ngaba baziva bonwabile xa bekunye nawe? Yonke le mibuzo ibalulekile ekuthandaneni nawe. Ukufumanisa ukuba baziva ngendlela efanayo nawe, le mibuzo ifuna ukuphendulwa.
Ukuhlakulela uthando yonke imihla
Ukuhlakulela uthando rhoqo kubaluleke kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, le yinto ekulula ukuyithetha kunokwenza. Xa yonke into kulwalamano lwakho kunye nobomi bakho kulungile, kulula kakhulu ukuhlakulela uthando.
Nangona kunjalo, intsingiselo yokuba semathandweni kuthetha ukuhlakulela uthando nakula maxesha anzima. Nazi ezinye zeendlela onokuthi uhlakulele ngazo uthando rhoqo:
Ukuba uqikelele ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba sothandweni, kukwabalulekile ukuba uyazi ukuba ukuba sothandweni nako kunokhupha icala elibi lomntu. Ngamanye amaxesha, ngenxa yokuba ulikhathalele kakhulu iqabane lakho, usenokugqibela ngokuthetha izinto ezibuhlungu.
Ke ngoko, kungcono ukuthatha ixesha rhoqo kwaye ubonakalise ukusebenzisana kwakho neqabane lakho, ngakumbi izinto ezingathandekiyo, kwaye ufumane iindlela zokuphatha ngothando ngakumbi kwixa elizayo.
Xa ubona ubudlelwane bakho njengethuba lokuba wena neqabane lakho nifunde izinto malunga kunye kwaye nikhule ngokufanayo, umdla awuze ufe. Nobabini qhubekani nifunda omnye komnye kwaye nikhula kunye.
Inxalenye enkulu yokuba sithandane neqabane lakho kukuba athobeke ngala mava. Kubalulekile ukuba ulixabise ixabiso kunye nobukho beqabane lakho ebomini bakho. Izimbo zomzimba ezithandanayo azikho kwimeko apha.
Ukukhulisa ngokufanelekileyo uthando rhoqo, ngumbono olungileyo ukuxabisa izinto eziqhelekileyo kodwa eziyimfuneko ezenziwa liqabane lakho, kwaye nawe uzenzela iqabane lakho. Ingenza ikomityi yekofu kuwe okanye uhlambe izitya okanye ikuncede kwimisebenzi yasekhaya, njalo njalo.
Thatha eloxesha uphe into encinci okanye ubange okanye uthi "ndiyakuthanda" okanye "enkosi ngokuba mhle kakhulu kum."
Ezinye iindlela ezilungileyo zokuhlakulela uthando rhoqo kukuthetha kakhulu ngesithandwa sakho okanye intombi yakho, okanye iqabane lakho naxa bengekho. Ukwenza amagqabantshintshi malunga nabo kubahlobo okanye kusapho lwakho akuyi kwenza mntu ukuba azive kamnandi.
Isiphelo
Ukusebenza ngokwakho endaweni yokuzama ukusebenza kwiqabane lakho yenye into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuba uyigcine engqondweni xa kufikwa ekuqondeni nasekuthandaneni neqabane lakho.
Ngoku uyazi ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba sothandweni, ngethemba unokuqonda ukuba uziva njani malunga nomnye wakho obalulekileyo!