Umxholo
- Ukufuna ubudlelwane obutsha
- Nantsi into ekufuneka uyenzile ngaphambi kokuqala ulwalamano olutsha emva koqhawulo-mtshato:
- 1. Zilungiselele ngokweemvakalelo
- 2. Nika ingqalelo abantwana bakho
- 3. Nyaniseka ungqale ngqo kunxibelelwano
- Kwelinye inqaku, nazi izinto ezi-3 zokuphepha ngokupheleleyo ngexesha lokuthandana:
- 1. Sukucinga ukuba onke amadoda / amabhinqa anjenge ex yakho
- 2. Musa ukubambelela kwimithwalo
- 3. Yiba vula amathuba amatsha
Nangona uqhawulo-mtshato luyinkqubo enzima, kodwa inokubakhulula kakhulu. Kweminye, inyathelo elilandelayo liya kuba kukuqala ukuthandana kwakhona. Kwabanye, kwaukucinga nje kusenokubonakala kusothusa okanye kungenakwenzeka. Ngumcimbi onzima ngakumbi ukuba unabantwana, kodwa kusenokwenzeka kwaye kunokuba mnandi. Ukunceda ekwenzeni oku kwenzeke, kubalulekile ukuba uvumele iimvakalelo zihlale kwikhaya lakho kwaye ufumane iindlela zokuthetha nabantwana bakho malunga noko.
Ukufuna ubudlelwane obutsha
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqonda ukuba inkqubo yokufuna ubudlelwane obutsha emva koqhawulo-mtshato yahlukile kuye wonke umntu. Abanye banokuba bakulungele ukuthandana kwangoko ngelixa abanye kungathatha iminyaka ngaphambi kokuba bazive bekulungele kwanokucinga malunga noku.
Kungenxa yokuba yenzeke ngenye indlela kumhlobo wakho akuthethi ukuba kuya kuba njalo nakuwe.
Nika ingqalelo kwiimvakalelo zakho, kwaye uzibuze ukuba kutheni ufuna ukuqala ukuthandana kwakhona. Ukuba uzama ukugcwalisa umngxunya oshiywe liqabane lakho, ukuthandana ngoku ngekhe kube yinto elungileyo. Kufuneka ube usempilweni ngokwakho ngaphambi kokuba ube sempilweni kunye nomnye umntu ebomini bakho.
Nantsi into ekufuneka uyenzile ngaphambi kokuqala ulwalamano olutsha emva koqhawulo-mtshato:
1. Zilungiselele ngokweemvakalelo
Ukuqinisekisa ukuba ukufuna ubudlelwane obutsha emva komtshato ngamava amnandi, qiniseka ukuba ukulungele ngokwasemoyeni ukuphatha olu xanduva.
Awufuni kuba lusizi ngenxa yokuphulukana nobudlelwane bakho obudala ngelixa uzama ukukhuthaza entsha. Ungoyiki ukukhetha xa ujonga umntu omtsha oza kuthandana naye. Unetyala kuwe kunye nabantwana bakho lokuqinisekisa ukuba ngumntu oza kukuphatha kakuhle kwaye akunike eyona nto uyifunayo.
Ukuba uziva ungaqinisekanga malunga nokubuyela kumdlalo wokuthandana, zama ukwenza abahlobo abatsha kuqala. Ukwenza abahlobo kunokuba kokonwaba, kwaye ukuba ufumana umntu omthanda ngaphezu komhlobo, uya kuba sele unobuhlobo bokunceda ukwenza ubudlelwane bakho bomelele.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Luthini unyango lwasemva koqhawulo mtshato kwaye Lunceda Njani?
2. Nika ingqalelo abantwana bakho
Ukuba unabantwana, kuya kufuneka unike ingqalelo enkulu kwiimvakalelo zabo kunye neemfuno zabo njengoko uqala ukubona iqabane elitsha.
Abantwana bakho banenkqubo yabo ebuhlungu ekufuneka beyenzile emva kokuba abazali babo bahlukene, kwaye kufuneka uyihloniphe loo nto. Ngenxa yokuba abantwana bakho bengayithandi into yokuba uthandane akuthethi ukuba akufuneki uyenze kwakhona, kodwa kuya kufuneka ubanike ixesha elaneleyo lokuziqhelanisa nendlela entsha esebenza ngayo izinto.
Abantwana bahlala bebona iqabane elitsha njengezama ukuthatha omnye umzali, kwaye abanye babo basenokuba nethemba lokuba uya kubuya kunye nomnye umzali. Qiniseka ukuba abantwana bakho bayayiqonda into yokuba izinto zisekugqibeleni, kwaye ubanike ixesha lokuzilungisa. Njengokuba usiya phambili, mamela iimvakalelo zabo, kwaye uveze ezakho iimvakalelo.
Ngokubhekisele kwinto ekufuneka uyixelele abantwana bakho ngobomi bakho bokuthandana ixhomekeke ekubeni badala kangakanani. Umntwana omncinci akufuneki azi ukuba uyajola de ube uzimisele ngakumbi ngalo xa umntu ofikisayo kufuneka anikwe ezinye iinkcukacha kuba baqinisekile ukuba bayayiqaphela into eyenzekayo. Nokuba ungakanani na kubantwana bakho, kungcono ungazisi iqabane lakho elitsha de ube uqiniseke ngabo.
Uqhawulo-mtshato luyabaphazamisa abantwana, kwaye bafuna uzinzo. Ukuba uza kohlukana neqabane lakho elitsha abantwana bakho abakuthandayo, oku kunokuba yinto ebuhlungu njengokuhlukana nomnye umzali.
Abantwana bakho ngekhe baphendule ngolangazelelo okokuqala xa bedibana neqabane lakho elitsha. Banokuveza umsindo kunye nokudana ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo njengokuziphatha phambi kweqabane lakho elitsha okanye ukukunika nje ukuthula.
Banike ixesha lokuhlengahlengisa, kwaye ungazami ukubanyanzela kwiimeko abangazonwabisiyo ezibandakanya iqabane lakho elitsha. Ungafuna ukuba bahloniphe iqabane lakho elitsha, kodwa awungekhe ufune ukuba bathande iqabane lakho elitsha.
3. Nyaniseka ungqale ngqo kunxibelelwano
Ukunyaniseka nokuvuleleka zizinto ezinokuthenjwa; ngqo xa unxibelelana neqabane lakho. Vuleka malunga nolindelo lwakho, into oyinqwenelayo kolu lwalamano okanye wabelane nabanye ngezinto onokuxhalaba ngazo. Kubalulekile ukuseka eli lungelo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane njengoko kuvula indlela yobudlelwane obuqinileyo. Khumbula, ukuvuleka nokunyaniseka ligazi lobomi balo nabuphi na ubudlelwane.
Ngelixa uqala ubudlelwane obutsha emva koqhawulo-mtshato kuhlala kuyinkqubo ebuthathaka kakhulu, usenokuzonwabisa. Qiniseka ukuba awuhambeli phambili kuba abantu bakulindele okanye kuba ucinga ukuba kufanelekile. Endaweni yoko, yenza oko ufuna kwaye ukulungele. Musa ukungxama ubudlelwane bakho obutsha, kwaye ngalo lonke elixesha, qiniseka ukuba uzikhathalele.
Ukuba unabantwana, bagcine engqondweni kwaye ubanike ixesha lokuba baqhele lo mntu mtsha ebomini bakho. Khumbula ukuba olu lukhetho lwakho kunye nobomi bakho, qiniseka ukuba ulungile, kwaye ulwenze lube ngamava amahle.
Kwelinye inqaku, nazi izinto ezi-3 zokuphepha ngokupheleleyo ngexesha lokuthandana:
1. Sukucinga ukuba onke amadoda / amabhinqa anjenge ex yakho
Ukuthemba umntu omtsha kuthatha ixesha, ngakumbi emva kokuba wenzakaliswe liqabane lakho langaphambili. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ubambelele koku kungathembeki, uya kulitshabalalisa ithuba lakho lokufumana umntu omtsha. Funda ukujonga indoda / umfazi omtsha njengomntu ngamnye. Qaphela indlela abahluke ngayo, abanobubele, abanomdla kuwe. Bazise ngeempawu zabo ezizodwa.
Ukuba usajongana nemicimbi yokuthembana, unokujonga iingcebiso neengcali okanye ezinye iindlela ezinje nge-Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), ebandakanya ukubetha amanqaku e-acupressure. Yazi ngemicimbi yakho kwaye ungoyiki ukufuna uncedo.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Ukubuyela okanye uthando lwenene: Ukufumana uthando kwakhona emva koqhawulo mtshato
2. Musa ukubambelela kwimithwalo
Inzima le kodwa ayinakwenzeka. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, yile nto amava ethu asenzayo. Kodwa ukubambelela kwimithwalo akuzange kuncede mntu. Ukuba kuphela, kuthintela inkqubela phambili yethu kwaye kuhlala kusenza sibe krakra ngezinto ezahlukeneyo.
Funda ngeendlela eziza kukunceda ukhulule umthwalo; ube nengxoxo yangaphakathi nawe malunga nento ekubambezelayo. Kwakhona, ziqonde iimpazamo zakho zangaphambili emtshatweni wakho, thatha uxanduva kwaye ufunde kuzo.
3. Yiba vula amathuba amatsha
Emva kokucinga ngayo yonke into, ekugqibeleni ufikelele kwindawo apho ufuna ukuthandana. Unokwenza oko ngokungathandabuzekiyo okanye unokuba nexhala lakho, eliqhelekileyo, kodwa uvuleleke kumathuba amatsha. Ukuba akukho nto, unokufumana nje umhlobo omtsha. Khumbula yonke imihla kufuneka ifikelele esiphelweni kubudlelwane. Ufuna ukunyathela ngononophelo, cinga nzulu ngaphambi kokuzibophelela. Nangona kunjalo, hlala uvulekele izimvo ezintsha.
Funda ngokugqithisileyo: Isinyathelo esisi-5 sokuCeba ukuHamba emva koQhawulo-mtshato
Ngelixa uqala ulwalamano olutsha emva koqhawulo-mtshato kuhlala kuyinkqubo ebuthathaka kakhulu, usenokuzonwabisa. Qiniseka ukuba awuhambeli phambili kuba abantu bakulindele okanye kuba ucinga ukuba kufanelekile. Endaweni yoko, yenza oko ufuna kwaye ukulungele. Musa ukungxama ubudlelwane bakho obutsha, kwaye ngalo lonke elixesha, qiniseka ukuba uzikhathalele.
Ukuba unabantwana, bagcine engqondweni kwaye ubanike ixesha lokuba baqhele lo mntu mtsha ebomini bakho. Khumbula ukuba olu lukhetho lwakho kunye nobomi bakho, qiniseka ukuba ukulungele kwaye ukwenze amava amahle.