Umxholo
- Ukubeka phambili isondo kunye nolwalamano
- Cinga ngendlela enibulisa ngayo kwaye nithi ndlela-ntle omnye komnye
- Yenza ulwalamano kunye neenjongo zesondo
- Hlola iingcamango zomnye nomnye
- Ukubeka phambili ubudlelwane bakho kunye neqabane
Ngaba wakha wazipha ixesha lokuzibuza ukuba yintoni eyona nto ibalulekileyo emtshatweni?
Ngaba ufanele ubeke phambili isondo?
Ngaba kufuneka ubeke phambili ukusondelelana?
Ngaba ufanele ubeke umtshato wakho kwindawo yokuqala?
Okanye mhlawumbi kuya kufuneka ubeke iqabane lakho kuqala, kwaye abanye bangalandela.
Akukho mantra inye yokuseta izinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka kubudlelwane. Kuya kufuneka ukuba ulinganise ukuba yeyiphi imiba yobudlelwane bakho ebonakala ingunobangela wokukhathazeka kwaye usebenzele ukuyiphucula.
Lonke ulwalamano luyaguquka ngokuhamba kwexesha, kwaye izinto ezinokubonakala zibaluleke kakhulu namhlanje zinokubonakala zingafanelekanga kwikamva.
Ukubeka ubudlelwane ngokubaluleka yinkqubo ehlala itshintsha. Ke, eyona ndlela yokuhamba ngayo kukujonga kulwalamano lwakho oludingayo namhlanje ngelixa ugcina engqondweni into enokuyifuna ngomso.
Ukubeka phambili isondo kunye nolwalamano
Kubaluleke kangakanani ukuba neentlobano zesini kubudlelwane bexesha elide?
Oku kunokuphendulwa ngokuqonda izibonelelo ezininzi zesini emtshatweni. Ayizisi kuphela iqabane lakho kwaye nisondele omnye komnye, kodwa ikwonyusa nokuzithemba.
Ukwabelana ngesondo kunye nolwalamano olusenyongweni yeyona nto ibalulekileyo kulwalamano lwakho kwaye kufuneka ihlale iphambili kubudlelwane bakho.
Sinovakalelo, izinto zesondo ezifuna uthando, ingqalelo, kunye nothando, kwaye kufuneka sizimisele ekukhuliseni nasekusebenzeni ukomeleza ubudlelwane phakathi kwamaqabane ethu.
Ixesha ngokuqinisekileyo sisinyanzelo, kodwa ngumgangatho waloo mathuba abalayo. Oko kusizisa kumbuzo-indlela yokwenza isondo phambili kubudlelwane bakho?
Sukuba nexhala. Sebenzisa nje ezi ngcebiso njengeendlela zokuphucula ubomi bakho ngokwesondo kunye nokudibana neqabane lakho!
Ukwenza isithethe malunga nokuthandana kunokwenza impembelelo enjalo kumhla wakho nakubudlelwane.
Uphando lubonisa ukuba kuthatha imizuzwana emi-5 ukuya kweli-10 yokwanga ukukhupha imichiza yokubopha ebizwa ngokuba yi-oxytocin, imvakalelo efudumeleyo nefuzayo eyenza uzive usondele emntwini.
Zibophelele ekwenzeni oku kunye neqabane lakho ubuncinci kabini ngemini. Ukonyusa ukubanjwa ngaphandle kwezesondo kunokubangela umnqweno wesondo kodwa ungalenzi iqabane lakho livakalelwe kukuba uthando luboniswa njengesandulela sesini.
Ngokumalunga nokwabelana ngesondo, ukwenza uthando ngokwendalo kuyahluka. Abantu baneemoto ezahlukeneyo kunye neminqweno yesini. Qaphela ukuba ukwabelana ngesondo ngakumbi akuthethi ukusondelelana ngakumbi, kwaye ukusondelelana kungaphezulu kokulala nje.
Njengabantu abatshatileyo, kufuneka nenze "iinjongo ezisondeleyo kunye nezokwabelana ngesondo" okanye "iinjongo zesondo."
Kubalulekile ukuba ucinge ngendlela onqwenela ukuphucula ngayo unxibelelwano lwakho ngesondo kunye nokwandisa ulonwabo kunye nokwoneliseka wena neqabane lakho.
Faka iinjongo zemihla ngemihla kunye nezeveki zokuphuza, ukuwola, ukuthanda uthando kunye nokudlala kwangaphambili. Thetha ngezinto ezenza ukuba niziva nisondelene nobabini kunye nendlela eniziva nonelisekile ngayo.
Yenza ixesha lokwabelana ngesondo.Yiba nencoko esebenzayo malunga nobungakanani kunye nomgangatho wokusondelelana, ukusondelelana, kunye nokwabelana ngesondo kukwenza ukuba uzive uzalisekisiwe ngokwasemoyeni.
Ukugcina izinto ezinomdla ngokwesondo kunokuba ngumceli mngeni kwizibini ezitshatileyo, ngakumbi abo bathandabuzayo ukwabelana ngeminqweno yabo yesondo.
Ingcinga yokuba iqabane lakho liyalahla iminqweno yakho yesini okanye ijonge phantsi kuwe ngokucebisa ngento ethile yekinky inokuba buhlungu kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, kusafuneka wenze iinzame zokuphononongwa ngesondo.
Qala ngeenkcukacha ezincinci. Buza into abayithandayo, kwaye ubone ukuba ungazifaka njani iimfuno zabo kwezakho. Musani ukugwebana. Yenza indawo ekhuselekileyo ukuze babelane ngezinto abazithandayo.
Rhoqo, ukuthetha ngento emnandi kunokuzisa uyolo, kwaye kungade kungafuneki nokuba ubandakanyeke kwisenzo.
Ukubeka phambili ubudlelwane bakho kunye neqabane
Njengabantu abaninzi abathandanayo, iinjongo zakho kunye nolindelo akufuneki zilungelelane ngokugqibeleleyo, kodwa nobabini kufuneka nizinikele ekuthatheni amanyathelo amancinci kwaye nibeke iimfuno zeqabane lakho kunye nolwalamano lwakho phezulu kuluhlu lwakho oluphambili.
- Cwangcisa ixesha lomnye nomnye
Ngexesha, ubudlelwane buqala ukuwela kwipatheni yeendlela ezingathandekiyo. Nangona ezi nkqubo zisebenza ngenjongo kwaye zizisa ukungaguquguquki ebomini bakho, oku kunokushiya wena kunye neqabane lakho niziva nityeshelwe kwaye ningafunwa.
Eyona ndlela yokuqhekeza le monotony kukuphinda ufumane iintsuku zokuqala zobudlelwane bakho. Cwangcisa umhla okanye ubeke eceleni ixesha lokujonga kwiimfuno zeqabane lakho.
Ukuba iqabane lakho ungaziva ngathi yinto ephambili kubudlelwane, thatha eli thuba ukubathethelela kunye nexesha elithile kuzo zonke iingxaki zehlabathi.
Benze baqonde ukuba uyabaqaphela, kwaye nokuba zithini na ezinye izinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka kunye neziphazamiso, uya kuhlala ubalungele.
- Yenza izinto kunye
Amaqabane ayabambeka kubomi bawo kwaye alibale ngezinto awayeqhele ukuzenza kunye.
Endaweni yokwenza inzame zokufunda malunga nezinto ezithandanayo kunye nokuxabisa iyantlukwano yomnye nomnye, sihlala sihamba ngeendlela zethu ezahlukeneyo.
Awunakuyikhanyela into yokuba ikunika ixesha elingakumbi lokujonga kwiminqweno nakwiminqweno yakho kodwa ngeyiphi indleko? Ngaba ukuphulukana nolwalamano lwakho kufanelekile ngaphezulu kokuvavanya isidingo sokwenza utshintsho kunye nohlengahlengiso?
Yiba nomonde, unolwazelelelo, kwaye yizani kunye neenkanuko zenu. Fumana iindlela zokubandakanya iqabane lakho kwizinto ozithandayo kwaye wenze okufanayo nakubo.
Akukho sidingo sokwenza utshintsho olukhulu kunye nolukhawulezayo. Ekugqibeleni, imiceli mngeni iya kubonakala ingabonakali, kwaye nobabini niya kuyivuyela imizamo eniyenzayo kulwalamano lwenu.
- Lixabise iqabane lakho
Enye into izibini ezilahlekayo ngokuhamba kwexesha kubudlelwane yimvakalelo yombulelo kunye noxabiso ngezinto ezincinci ezenziwa liqabane labo.
Uqhele ukuhlala nazo ukuze ungaziqapheli izimbo zomzimba ezincinci kunye nokuzincama ezikwenzayo ukutyebisa ubomi bakho. Ngaphambi kokuba uyazi, iqabane lakho liqala ukuziva libuhlungu, luyeke kwaye lude lude.
Ayisiyiyo eyokuba abayazi ukuba uyayixabisa imizamo yabo kodwa ukungakwazi kwakho ukubonisa umbulelo ngalo lonke ixesha kwaye kubenza babuze ukubaluleka kwabo kunye nokubaluleka kwabo kulwalamano.
Kwividiyo engezantsi, uMike Robbins, umbhali wencwadi ethi Focus on the Good Stuff, uthetha ngamandla oxabiso.
Ukwahlula phakathi kokuqondwa kunye noxabiso, kwaye sizixabanisa kangaphi ezi zinto zimbini. UMike ucebisa ezinye zeendlela zokuphucula kunye nokuzilungiselela imeko ukuze ube nakho ukuxabisa abanye ngcono kwaye uzigcine ukhuthazeka ukwenza njalo.
Kungathatha ixesha elithile ukwakha inkqubo apho ugcina khona indlela iqabane lakho ebuphucula ngayo ubudlelwane benu, kodwa kubalulekile ukuba nikwenze umkhwa.