Umxholo
Enye yezinto eziphambili kubudlelwane kukugcina ilangatye lothando livutha kunye nomtsalane liphila. Umsebenzi onzima wokwenyani awufumani nje kuphela isibindi sokuphalaza la magama mathathu omlingo kodwa unike ubudlelwane ukukhulisa rhoqo. Ukuqwalaselwa kwamadoda nabasetyhini ziindidi ezahlukeneyo, kubalulekile ukuqonda enye indlela yokujonga, ukufumana indawo efanayo kunye nokugcina iinzame zimbini.
Incwadi Amadoda avela kuMars, Abafazi bavela kwiVenus Ithetha ngendlela amadoda acinga ngayo kwaye, ngokufanayo, iimfuno ezahlukeneyo zomfazi. Njengowesifazane, unokuba unqwenela ukuba umlingo womlingo uqonde into enokucingwa yindoda yakho, ukuyenza ikulangazelele rhoqo kwaye imenze iphambane.
Ewe, masiyibhuqe intsomi.
Ukuze ungene entliziyweni yakhe kwaye wazi ukuba ucinga ntoni umntu wakho, umgaqo kukuqonda umbono wakhe. Ngokwengqondo, amadoda nabasetyhini bacinga ngokwahlukileyo, kwaye kubudlelwane, kubalulekile ukuba basebenze kule nyani. Ke, mgxothe ezi ngcebiso zilandelayo engqondweni, kwaye uqiniseke ukuba akayeki ukucinga ngawe.
Myeke uMgcini wakho
Ukuba sesichengeni kumalunga nokukhetha ukuzichaza kwaye ubeke intliziyo yakho njengoko injalo. KwiYunivesithi yaseHouston uNjingalwazi uBrené Brown's 2010 TEDxHouston intetho, Amandla okuba sesichengeni, uthi,
Ukuhlala usesichengeni yi umngcipheko Kuya kufuneka sithathe ukuba sifuna ukufumana unxibelelwano.
Sikhuthaza ukuba sesichengeni ngokwaneleyo ukuba singavula malunga nawe size sigxothe zonke izithintelo. Ukwenzakaliswa, ukoyikeka okanye ukonwaba yinxalenye yobukho bethu kwaye akufuneki kubekho ntloni ngokungachazwa. Nangona kunjalo, musa ukugqithisa ukwenza indawo entliziyweni yakhe.
Akukho siqinisekiso sihleli elityeni ngendlela yokwenza indoda yakho iphambane, kodwa Ukuchaza uvuyo lwakho, iinjongo zakho, kunye neenkanuko zakho ngokukhululekileyo ngokuqinisekileyo ziya lide ekomelezeni iqhina. Ukuba sesichengeni kunomdla. Yenye yeebhloko zokwakha ubudlelwane kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo iya kukhokelela kwindoda yakho ukuba icinge ukuba ibambe amandla kubudlelwane njengoko usenza.
Ngokuba sesichengeni, ngobuqili umsondeze kuwe ngokweemvakalelo kwaye umncede akhuphe umtsalane wobukhwenkwe. Kwaye ukuba uyazibuza ukuba ungamenza njani ukuba acinge ngawe, kufuneka aqinisekiswe ngezimbo zomzimba ukuba angayivula nentliziyo yakhe. Endaweni yokugcina intambo ezandleni zakho, bamba icala elinye lentambo kwaye ubambe elinye icala. Uya kuyivuyela.
Iziphumo zokuBukusa
Ukuba ufuna ukuba umntu wakho acinge ngawe, enye yeendlela ezisebenzayo kukubamba ingqalelo yakhe ukumlinganisa kwinqanaba lokuqonda. Oku kuyakubonisa iinzame zakho kuye kwaye kwangaxeshanye, yongeza into yolonwabo kulwalamano. Uyakufumana esi senzo sothando sinomtsalane ngokungaqhelekanga kwaye akazukuyeka ukucinga ngawe.
Ukubukusa kwenzeka kakhulu kumanqanaba okuqonda. Iba yinto esebenzayo kubudlelwane nexesha kwaye yakha isiseko esomeleleyo. Xa unoluvo oluchanekileyo malunga nendlela acinga ngayo, nobabini niqala ukubukelana kwinqanaba leemvakalelo ngokunjalo.
Ukubukisa ngokweemvakalelo, nangona kunjalo, kuya kuthatha ixesha elimnandi xa nobabini niza kuqala ukufunda ingqondo yomnye nomnye kwaye nibone ngamazwi. Akufanele kubekho ukungxama. Qiniseka ukuba awuzami kuzabalazela ukumenza akuthande. Sukuba ngumthengisi otyhalayo.
Nyaniseka Kuwe
Inye kuphela into ayithandayo amadoda kukunyaniseka. Ukuba ufuna ukuba acinge ngawe ngalo lonke ixesha, kuya kufuneka uzibonakalise ngendlela ethembekileyo neyinyani. Ukunganyaniseki kuwe yenye yezona mpazamo zixhaphakileyo ezenziwa ngabantu basetyhini.
Indoda ayifuni ukuba umfazi acinge ngendlela enza ngayo, ukuthanda izinto azithandayo, enze njengoko esenza. Ukuba bekunjalo, wayezakutshata. Amadoda awafuni ukuba abafazi bathintele ezabo izimvo kuba banokuphikisana nabo; endaweni yoko Amadoda athande abafazi abanokuchaza umbono wabo kwaye ngubani oyintsusa.
Enye yeenzuzo eziphambili zokuhlala unyanisekile kwaye unyanisekile kukuba kuyakumnika ithuba lokuchaza izimvo zakhe. Nje ukuba afumane eso sithuba anokubeka ithemba lakhe nakuwe, uya kuhlala ecinga ngawe.
Amadoda awafuni ukwazi abantu ababhinqileyo abaya kuthi fidget kwimbono yokubonisa ukuzithemba kwabo. Ke, ukuze indoda yakho icinge ukuba nguwe, hlala uyinyani.
Yibanenceba
Ububele luphawu olunomdla kwindalo iphela, Izifundo zibonisa. Uphando lukwabonisa ukuba ububele bunxulunyaniswa nokukwazi ukwenza umanyano lwentlalo. Njengombongi odumileyo uMaya Angelou wathi:
Abantu bayakulibala into oyithethileyo, abantu bayakulibala okwenzileyo kodwa abasoze bayilibale indlela obenze baziva ngayo.
Ke ngaloo mhla wokuqala, owesibini, owesithathu okanye nayiphi na imihla elandelayo, angangaboni kwaye akhumbule isinxibo onxibe ngaso kodwa uyakukhumbula ukuba ubulungile kwaye uchubekile naye kunye naye nawuphi na omnye umntu onxibelelane naye. Ke yiba nobubele kwaye ungaqiniseka ukuba uhlala ecinga ngawe ngeyona ndlela intle.
Okokugqibela kususwe
Amadoda afumana ukuzithemba nokuzithemba kwabafazi kuhlaziya kwaye akunakuphikiswa. Ukuba ufuna umntu wakho acinge ukuba wahlukile, ziveze ukuba unjani. Ukuba ujonge ekwenzeni ixesha elide, ukudlala, ukuzimela, kunye nothando zezinye zeempawu ezongezelelekileyo anokuzixabisa.
Ngamanye amaxesha, ukubonisa iimvakalelo zakho ngokucacileyo nangokuluhlaza kukwenza ukuba ungubani. Ke ngoko yiba lelo bhinqa, yenza njengoko ufuna kwaye ububone ubuqaqawuli bakho kunye neempazamo zakho ukuba ufuna ukuba acinge ngawe ngalo lonke ixesha.