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Umxholo
- Umtshato, njengeziko
- Isigqibo sakho sokuqhawula umtshato siza kukuchaphazela njani?
- Isigqibo sakho sokuqhawula umtshato siza kubachaphazela njani abantwana bakho?
Izibini ezininzi ziyaqhawula umtshato namhlanje ngezizathu ezahlukeneyo. Ezinye zezi ndizithatha njengezinto ezingenamsebenzi, ngokoluvo lwam, njengoko ezi zizizathu zokuphelisa umtshato kwaye uphume kubudlelwane. Nayi eminye imizekelo endiyibonileyo:
Umlingane wam uyala ukutya into endiyenzayo.
Umyeni wam akazukutshintsha manapkeni womntwana.
Umfazi wam uyala ukucheba iinwele.
Ngaba oku kuvakala kungakholeleki kuwe? Mhlawumbi kunjalo. Kodwa le yinyani yobudlelwane namhlanje.
Umtshato, njengeziko
Umtshato wawenzelwe ukuba ube liqabane lobomi obude phakathi kwendoda nomfazi kwaye akufuneki uthathwe kancinci. Umsunguli womtshato unikezele ngemiyalelo malunga nokuba abantu abatshatileyo mabazenze njani iindima zabo abazinikiweyo ngokunxulumene nomnye nomnye. Ukuba azilandelwa, iingxaki ziya kuvela.
Ewe, awukho umtshato ogqibeleleyo.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba amadoda nabafazi balandela ukhokelo kunye nemiyalelo kaThixo kwindima abayabelweyo, iya kwenza umtshato wabo uphumelele ngaphandle kokungafezeki abakuyo abatshati okwangoku.
Nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha, uqhawulo-mtshato lusenokubonakala njengokuphela kwendlela abanokukhetha ngayo. Ngokukodwa, xa elinye iqabane liqhathe elinye. Okwangoku, ukuba elinye lamaqabane likholelwa ekubeni linokusebenza kwimiba enzima enjalo ukunqanda uqhawulo-mtshato kwaye igcine umtshato wabo, kuya kufuneka kwenziwe njalo.
Phambi kokukhetha ukuphelisa umtshato, kubalulekile ukuqwalasela oku kulandelayo:
- Isigqibo sam siyakubachaphazela njani abantwana?
- Ndizokwazi kanjani ukuzixhasa?
- Ngaba iqabane lam sele lixolisile kwaye lacela uxolo?
Ngokuqinisekileyo ngekhe uphazame ngokufuna ukuqhubeka noqhawulo-mtshato, kodwa kubalulekile ukuba ujonge ukuba isigqibo sakho siza kukuchaphazela njani wena nabantwana bakho, ukuba unaso.
Bukela kwakhona: Izizathu ezi-7 eziqhelekileyo zoQhawulo-mtshato
Isigqibo sakho sokuqhawula umtshato siza kukuchaphazela njani?
Khumbula, wenza isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato. Zibuze ukuba ungakulungela ngokwasemphefumlweni iingxaki ezininzi zobomi emva koko. Nazi izinto ekufuneka uzikhumbule malunga nazo:
- Uya kuzisingatha njani iindlela zokuziphatha ezimbi ezinokubonakaliswa ngabantwana bakho? Ngaba kuya kufuneka iingcebiso kusapho?
- Ngaba uya kuba nakho ukuphatha iimali ngaphandle koncedo lomyeni wakho ngoku? Ingakumbi ukuba uyala ukuhlawula inkxaso yomntwana?
- Ewe eli nqaku lisebenza ngokulinganayo emadodeni. Zibuze ukuba uya kuba nakho na ukwenza iinwele zentombi yakho? Ukuba awuqhelanga ukutshintsha amanabukeni oko kuya kukuchaphazela ngokweemvakalelo? Ngaba ukulungele ukusingatha loo nto?
- Ungaziva njani ngesondo xa ingeyonxalenye yobomi bakho?
Isigqibo sakho sokuqhawula umtshato siza kubachaphazela njani abantwana bakho?
Cinga ngendlela umtshato wakho oza kubachaphazela ngayo abantwana bakho. Unokufumana ngaphezulu kwexesha. Kodwa abantwana abaze benze njalo. Ke ufanele ukuhlala utshatile ngenxa yabantwana bakho? Mhlawumbi akunjalo. Kodwa ukubeka konke okusemandleni akho ukugcina umtshato ngokuqinisekileyo kufanelekile.
Kuba abantwana bakho abayi kuze bayifumane ilahleko yosapho lwabo; ubomi babo abusoze bufane. Emva koqhawulo-mtshato, yonke into iyatshintsha kwaye kufuneka bajonge inyani entsha. Ewe kunjalo, emva kwexesha elithile, abantwana "bayaqhubeka," ngokunjalo kodwa baya kuhlala bechaphazeleka yiyo ubomi babo bonke.
Xa sele uthethile, ukuba iqabane lakho liyenye yezi zinto zilandelayo, uqhawulo-mtshato ngokuqinisekileyo luyafaneleka:
- Ukukrexeza
- Ukuhlukumeza
- Iziyobisi
- Ukulahla
Okokugqibela, bonke abo ngoku bazifumana becinga ngokuqhawula umtshato (ngaso nasiphi na esinye isizathu), ndibacenga ukuba bajonge indleko. Sisigqibo esikhulu kwaye akukho namnye onokuyithatha kancinci ngokuqinisekileyo.