Umxholo
- Indlela iimvakalelo ezityhalwa ngayo
- Abathandekayo bethu bayazi
- Ukunyaniseka ngokweemvakalelo
- Oku kubonakala njani ebomini bam
Xa siziva sinemvakalelo enkulu sikholelwa ekubeni kulula ukuyifihla le mvakalelo ngokucinezela iimvakalelo zethu.
Senza u-stoic okanye asinamdla kumzamo wokungabonakalisi inzondo esivayo.
Ingxaki kwesi sicwangciso kukuba iqabane lakho liyiva le nto.
Ukuchaphazeleka ngokweemvakalelo kuyinxalenye yamava omntu.
Kuba asikwazi ukuyifihla indlela esivakalelwa ngayo kutheni singazivakalisi esidlangalaleni?
Indlela iimvakalelo ezityhalwa ngayo
Iimvakalelo ziinkqubo zovalo lwangaphakathi kukhuthazo lwangaphandle kunye neengcinga zangaphakathi.
Ayisiyonto esinokuyilawula. Zenzeka xa singafuni ukuba zenzeke. Umzekelo, ndingafuna ukubonisa indlela endonwabe ngayo ngomnyhadala omkhulu weqabane lam kodwa ndiziva ndonganyelwe bubungakanani besitya sam kule veki.
Okwalo mzuzu, ndibeke ubuso bendoda exhasayo kwaye ndonwabile ukuba siya kulo msitho.
Ngaphakathi ezantsi okwenzekayo ngokwenyani kukwazi ukulingana komnye umsebenzi kule veki. Umlingane wam ubuza ukuba kulungile kwaye ndithi kuyavakala. Undijonge ngokukrokra kwaye ubuza ukuba ndiqinisekile na. Ndithi, "Ndiqinisekile".
Kwenzeka kangaphi oku?
Senza ngathi izinto zilungile kanti azinjalo. Sikwenza oku ukonwabisa abantu esibathandayo, kwaye singabaphoxi.
Nangona kunjalo, ngokwenza oku kufuneka sityhalele kude iimvakalelo zethu.
Inokuba injani imeko yokunyaniseka kwiziqu zethu?
Ukuvuma ukuba kunjani ukongeza omnye umsitho emva koko uye kwinyathelo elilandelayo kwaye wazise iqabane lethu. Endaweni yokongamela amava ethu angaphakathi sijongana nawo.
Abathandekayo bethu bayazi
Ingxaki kwesi sicwangciso kukuba abantu bayazi.
Umntu okujikelezileyo ngalo lonke ixesha uya kuthatha iimvakalelo zakho nokuba uyinkosi yokuzifihla. Banokuziva iimvakalelo zakho.
Kwincwadi yakhe, Ingqondo Enempembelelo, uTali Sharot, ucacisa ukuba lusebenza njani na usulelo lweemvakalelo.
Usebenza njani ngokudluliselwa ngokweemvakalelo? Uncumo lwakho luvelisa njani uvuyo kum? Ubuso bakho buwenza njani umsindo kum engqondweni yam? Zimbini iindlela eziphambili. Eyokuqala kukulingisa okungazi. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba uvile ngendlela abantu abahlala belingisa ngayo izimbo zomzimba zabanye abantu, izandi kunye nembonakalo yobuso. Senza oku ngokuzenzekelayo — ukuba ushukumisa amashiya akho phezulu kancinci, nam ndiya kwenza njalo; ukuba uyarhuqa, kunokwenzeka ukuba ndikhukhumale. Xa umzimba womntu ubonakalisa uxinzelelo, kunokwenzeka ukuba sizomelele ngenxa yokulinganisa kwaye, ngenxa yoko, siziva sinoxinzelelo kwimizimba yethu (Sharot, 2017).
Ezi ntlobo zeempendulo zenkqubo yeemvakalelo kwezinye iimvakalelo zihlala zingazi.
Kodwa kubonisa ukuba ukufihla amava ethu angaphakathi akunakwenzeka.
Ukunyaniseka ngokweemvakalelo
Xa siqala ukunyaniseka ngokupheleleyo kuthi sivula ithuba lokuba nolwalamano olusenyongweni nabantu esibathandayo.
Siyakuvuma okwenzekayo ngaphakathi kuthi kwaye sivumela abantu esibathandayo ukuba bazi ukuba izinto zivakala njani.
Xa siqala ukuziva sikhathazekile kukubhengezwa kweqabane lethu ngento ekufuneka eyenzile kule veki sizama ukuyifihla le mvakalelo.
Ukuba sitshintshela ekubeni sesichengeni kwaye simazise ukuba siziva sikhathazekile, ke la mava anokuhlangatyezwa ngemfesane kunye nokuqonda.
Mhlawumbi iqabane lakho linokukunceda uthathe enye into kwipleyiti yakho ukuze uzive unoxinzelelo. Mhlawumbi uyaqonda ukuba le ayisiyiyo veki ilungileyo ukuba uye kulo msitho.
Usenokuziva elahliwe kwaye enomsindo xa uvakalisa ukoyikwa.
Nokuba kwenzeka ntoni, unyanisekile kwiqabane lakho kwaye awuzami ukufihla amava akho ngenxa yakhe.
Kuba uya kuba nombono wokuba ukufihla kwakho nokuba kutheni ungakhethi ukunyaniseka?
Oku kubonakala njani ebomini bam
Ndihlala neqabane elimangalisayo eliye lazisa ulwazi ngeemvakalelo. Andikwazi ukuzifihla kuye iimvakalelo zam.
Ngamanye amaxesha kuyacaphukisa oku kodwa ekugqibeleni kuye kwandinceda ndazibophelela ekunyanisekeni ngokweemvakalelo.
Ukuqonda kwakhe ukundinceda kuye kwandinceda ndaba yindoda engcono. Andikwazi ukuthi ndihlala ndikulungele ukumazisa xa izinto zingaziva zilungile kodwa injongo yam kukwenza oko kanye.
Kukho amaxesha apho ndiye ndasilela koku kwaye ndicinga ukuba kunciphisa ukusondelelana phakathi kwethu. Xa ndizivakalisa uhlala edibana nam ngokuqonda kunye noxabiso lokuba ngowokwenene kunye naye.
Ndivakalisa iimvakalelo zam ngobubele ngelixa ndizama ukuba namava akhe. Andingeni kubundlongondlongo ndityhola iqabane lam ndiziva ndinxunguphele okanye ndoyisiwe.
Kukunyaniseka ngelixa uthatha uxanduva ngokupheleleyo kumava am. Ke ndiyakukhuthaza ukuba uyeke ukukhathazeka ngeemvakalelo zeqabane lakho kwaye usebenzele ukusondela ngakumbi ngokuthetha okuyinyani kuwe.
Kwinqanaba elithile, baya kukwazi ukuba ufihla into eyenzekayo ngokwenene.