Umxholo
- 1. Amalungelo anikwa abantu abatshatileyo
- 2. Abantu abazizitabane abasengabo abemi abakudidi lwesibini
- 3. Ukuba semthethweni kwilizwe lokukhulisa abantwana
- 4. Konke kuyinyani
Ibingumxholo oshushu kwimikhankaso yezopolitiko kumashumi eminyaka. Ngumxholo wokumisa, ushiya uninzi lwabantu kuyo yonke into okanye ngokuchasene nayo. Ngumba wamalungelo oluntu. Ngumba wamalungelo oluntu. Kodwa ayifanelanga ukuba yi khupha kukonke.
Kwaye silapha, kwi-2017, sisathetha ngomtshato wesini esifanayo.
Ngo-2015, inkundla yomthetho e-United States ngokwembali yagweba ukuba onke amazwe angama-50 kufuneka akhusele amalungelo omtshato wabantu besini esinye. Ke, akunamsebenzi nokuba uyayithanda, uyayithiya, okanye awukhathali kumtshato wesini, kulapha ukuhlala.
Endaweni yokuqalisa enye ingxoxo-mpikiswano phakathi kwala macala omabini, masithethe ngobunyani bemeko: amadoda nabafazi abathandanayo banqatshelwe ilungelo lokuthanda, ukulwa, ukunyamezela, kunye nothando kwakhona, kulonwabo lomtshato kakhulu ixesha elide.
Ngoku ekubeni benikwe amalungelo afanayo njengaso nasiphi na isibini esitshatileyo, masikhe sijonge ezinye zezibonelelo abaza kuzonwabela ngoku njengamadoda atshatileyo nabafazi abatshatileyo.
1. Amalungelo anikwa abantu abatshatileyo
Kukho izibonelelo ezili-1,138 ezinikwa abantu abatshatileyo, ngoncedo lukarhulumente. Funda kwakhona- 1,138! Izinto ezinje ngokundwendwelwa esibhedlele, ukhathalelo lwempilo yosapho, kunye nokufayilwa ngokudibeneyo kwerhafu kwakudla ngokubakho kuphela xa wawutshate nomntu owayenezitho zokuzala ezahlukileyo kunezakho. Hayi kakhulu kwakhona!
Ngaba ungaze ucinge ngokungakwazi ukubona omnye wakho obalulekileyo esibhedlele emva kokuba befumene ingozi yemoto okanye benotyando olukhulu? Uyayazi i-drill, yiyo usapho kuphela ekupheleni kosuku! Oko kuthetha ukuba elona xesha lide, amadoda nabafazi abathandanayo bashiyeka kwigumbi lokulinda ngelixa oyena mntu babemthanda kakhulu echacha ezantsi eholweni. Amalungelo afana nala ahlala engahoywa kwingxoxo yemitshato yabantu besini esinye, kodwa ngesigwebo ngo-2015 esivumela izibini ezitshatileyo ukuba zitshate, ngoku abo bantu banokuzonwabela ezi zibonelelo.
2. Abantu abazizitabane abasengabo abemi abakudidi lwesibini
Ngaphambi kuka-2015, le yayiyindlela yokucinga yokwenyani okanye incoko enokwenzeka:
“Molo apho, ujonge ukutshata?
"Ewe sinjalo!"
“Uyayihlawula iirhafu zakho? Ngaba ungummi waseU.S? Ngaba uyakholelwa kuyo yonke loo nto malunga "nabo bonke abantu badalwe belingana?"
“Ewe, ewe, ewe!”
“Ngaba niyathandana?”
“Hayi, hayi. Singamafanasini. ”
“Uxolo, andinakukunceda. Nibonakala njengabantu abalungileyo, kodwa aninakutshata. ”
Iyangena kuncwadi lwaseMelika kwaye yinkcubeko yokuba onke amadoda adalwe alingana. Isiphelo sesibhambathiso sokunyaniseka “... uhlanga olunye, phantsi koThixo, alunakohlukaniswa inkululeko nobulungisa kubo bonke.”Ndicinga ukuba oobawo bethu abasungulayo, kunye neenkokheli ezininzi ezithe zalandela, bathetha le ntetho, kodwa khange bahambe kakhulu. Abantu base-Afrika baseMelika, abaseTyhini, kunye nabasetyhini abesilisa nabasetyhini baye bahlupheka kolu luhanahaniso kwizizukulwana ngezizukulwana. Kodwa ngokunyanzelwa kwamalungelo oluntu, intshukumo yamalungelo abasetyhini, kwaye ngoku isigwebo esikhulu ngo-2015 esenza ukuba nasiphi na isibini esitshatileyo sitshate eUnited States, imiqobo phakathi kwamanqanaba okuba ngabemi iye yaphuka ngakumbi nangakumbi.
3. Ukuba semthethweni kwilizwe lokukhulisa abantwana
Abantu abathandana besini esinye bekhulise ngempumelelo abantwana iminyaka, kodwa bekubonakala ngathi yinto engafunwayo kumaqela amaninzi anenjongo. Ayikhethi bodwa abantu abatshatileyo, kodwa abantu abaninzi (abadala, abantu bemveli) badla ngokugweba abo bakhulisa abantwana ngaphandle komtshato. Ukutshata nokuba neentsana kuhlala kubotshiwe, ke xa isibini sikhulisa abantwana ngaphandle kwemida yesiqhelo, kuhlala kuthatha ukuba siqhele. Xa izibini ezithandanayo zivunyelwe ukuba zitshate, banokukhulisa abantwana babo ngelixa betshatile njengabantu besintu abafuna.
Okubaluleke ngakumbi kunoluvo lwabantu ongabaziyo ngokupheleleyo, isibini esitshatileyo esikhulisa umntwana ngelixa sitshatile sinokunceda umntwana naye. Ngaphambi kwesigwebo esivumele umtshato wesini esifanayo kuwo onke amazwe, abantwana banokuba bajonge abazali babo kwaye bazive bahlukile kuba abazali babo babengatshatanga xa bonke abazali babahlobo babo babenjalo. Ndingacinga ukuba ingayenza incoko engathandekiyo kwaye edidayo ukuba nayo yomzali nomntwana xa bezama ukucacisa ukuba khange bavunyelwe ukutshata. Kule mihla, akukho sidingo sencoko njengoko abantu besini esifanayo banokukhulisa abantwana babo ngelixa bonwabile emtshatweni.
4. Konke kuyinyani
Emva kokutshata, umhlekisi uJohn Mulaney waqhula malunga nobunzima bokutshintsha igama lakhe elibalulekileyo kwintombi, ukuba ngumfazi, nokuba ngumfazi. Wachaza indlela eyahlukileyo ngayo ukumbiza umfazi endaweni yentombazana yakhe nje. Kwakukho igunya elithile emva kwayo; yaziva ingathi inentsingiselo engakumbi kuye.
Nangona amagqabantshintshi kaMulaney athetha ngokutshintsha kwakhe ukuya emtshatweni, olo tshintsho lolunye uvalelwe ngaphandle isibini esitshatileyo kangangeminyaka. Kude kube semthethweni umtshato wesini, izihloko ababencamathele kuzo yayisisoka, intombi okanye iqabane. Abazange babe nethuba lokubiza umntu ngokuba ngumyeni okanye inkosikazi yabo.
Pha ngu into ekhethekileyo kwaye engaqhelekanga malunga notshintsho kwezi zihloko. Andizange ndizive ndingumntu omdala kunokuba ndiqalile ukubiza inenekazi lam "mfazi wam". Kwakungathi ndiwele umbundu. Ingabonakala ngathi yinto encinci, kodwa ukunika abantu abesini esifanayo ithuba lokulandela loo mqobo inokuba sesona sibonelelo sikhulu abasifumene kwisigqibo sesebe lezobulungisa.
Akukho mntu uthanda ukubizwa ngokuba "liqabane". Kukwenza uvakale ngathi uyinxalenye yefemu yomthetho. Umyeni nenkosikazi zizibizo ezingcwele, yiyo loo nto abenzi bomthetho bezibambe kakhulu kangangeminyaka. Babengafuni ukuvumela izibini ezithandanayo ukuba zivakalelwe kukuba kunjani ukuba nomyeni okanye umfazi. Ngoku nasiphi na isibini sinokufumana amava. Ukuba yindoda nomfazi, indoda kunye nendoda, okanye inkosikazi nenkosikazi zonke izinto ezintle. Pha ngu ubunzima kuloo magama. Ngoku zonke izibini zesini esifanayo ziya kuba nesibonelelo sokuzixela ngomhla wazo womtshato.