Umxholo
- 1. Iqabane lakho libonisa umona ongafanelekanga
- 2. Umlingane wakho akathathi “Hayi” xa efuna impendulo
- 3. Iqabane lakho lineentloni zokuba kunye nawe
- 4. Iqabane lakho liyakoyikisa
- 5. Ugcinwe ngaphandle kwesangqa
- 6. Uyazithandabuza
- 7. Abahlukumezi baya kukuphosa ngexabiso eliphantsi
- 8. Ukugxekwa okwenzakalisayo kunye nokuphathwa gadalala
- 9. Ukungabi nantlonelo
- 10. Ukuhlukunyezwa
- 11. Ubundlobongela obuphathelele kwezesondo
- 12. Ubundlobongela emzimbeni
- 13. Ukukhanyela
- 14. Ukungakwazi ukuthemba iqabane lakho
- Uziva usengozini
Njengoko bekutshiwo ngaphambili, abantu abanakuphila kakuhle kubuntu, umzimba, umphefumlo kunye nomoya. Kufuneka sihlale sizibandakanya kulwalamano olunye okanye kolunye. Ke ngoko ukuzibandakanya kubudlelwane obusempilweni yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yobomi obuzalisekileyo. Ubudlelwane butyebisa ubomi bethu kwaye bongeza kulonwabo lwethu ekubeni siphila, kodwa sonke siyazi ukuba akukho lwalamano lufezekileyo. Kukho ukuba namahla ndinyuka kubudlelwane, iingxabano nokungavisisani akunakuphepheka.
Nangona kunjalo, abantu benziwe ukuba banxibelelane nabanye ngendlela elungileyo neqinisekileyo. Kodwa, ngelishwa lilishwa oku akusoloko kunjalo kuba kukho ubudlelwane obubi kunye nokuhlukumeza. Obu budlelwane buphethe gadalala budala ukungonwabi, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha bade bonakalise ingqondo yakho, umoya, imvakalelo kunye nomzimba. Kukho ukuba namahla ndinyuka kubudlelwane kodwa iimpikiswano nokungavisisani akufuneki kukhokelele kulo naluphi na uhlobo lokuphathwa gadalala.
Apha ngezantsi kukho imiqondiso okanye iiflegi ezibomvu eziza kukubonisa ukuba uku ubudlelwane obuxhaphazayo:
1. Iqabane lakho libonisa umona ongafanelekanga
Kuya kufuneka uyazi ukuba usebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo xa iqabane lakho lingenamona ngokungeyomfuneko ngezinto ozenzayo, indlela ozenza ngayo kunye nabantu onxibelelana nabo. Iqabane lakho linokubonisa amanqanaba okuphazamiseka xa uchitha ixesha nabanye abantu okanye kwezinye izinto - ngaphandle kobudlelwane.
2. Umlingane wakho akathathi “Hayi” xa efuna impendulo
Iqabane lakho liphatha u'hayi 'njengesiqalo sengxoxo engapheliyo, endaweni yokuphela kwengxoxo. Uyala ukukuva ushiya izimvo zakhe kunye nezigqibo. Ekugqibeleni, phantse yonke into oyenzayo engamenzi azive ngathi uya kulawula iya kubangela ukwanda kobutshaba.
3. Iqabane lakho lineentloni zokuba kunye nawe
Nanini na xa ukunye neqabane elikuhlukumezayo, uhlala eneentloni kwaye eneentloni zabantu ukunibona nobabini kunye ngenxa yendlela yakhe yokuhlukumeza.
4. Iqabane lakho liyakoyikisa
Amaqabane axhaphazayo ahlala enqwenela kwaye efuna ukulawula. Ukusetyenziswa kwegunya namandla yindlela yokulawula. Indlela yokuba semagunyeni kukusebenzisa isoyikiso kunye nempembelelo engafanelekanga yokukulawula nokukukhohlisa
5. Ugcinwe ngaphandle kwesangqa
Ulwalamano oluxhaphazayo ukuba iqabane lakho alikukhuphi ngaphandle kwentliziyo yabo, ekuthandeni kwabo okuhle nasekuvunyweni kwabo, baya kukukhuphela ngaphandle kwimisebenzi yabo. Uba ngumntu ongaziwayo kwizenzo zeqabane lakho.
6. Uyazithandabuza
Iqabane lakho liya kukuxokisa ngabom ukuze likudibanise kwaye likuthandabuze ukuqonda kwakho. Amaqabane axhaphazayo aya kukwenza uthandabuze amanqaku abo, ukucaciswa, inkumbulo kunye nokuba semgangathweni. Ngamanye amaxesha baya kuxabana bakudinise de ungathembi into oyaziyo ukuba iyinyani.
7. Abahlukumezi baya kukuphosa ngexabiso eliphantsi
Uninzi lwabaxhaphazi lunika iimvuthuluka zothando okanye ukuvunywa okanye ukuncoma okanye ukukuthengela izipho ukuze zikugcine kwisangqa sempembelelo okanye phantsi kobhontsi.
8. Ukugxekwa okwenzakalisayo kunye nokuphathwa gadalala
Ulwalamano oluhlukumezayo wakube uqaphele iqabane lakho likhwaza, likhwaza, lihlekisa, likutyhola okanye likoyikisa ngokuthetha. Kuya kufuneka uzame ngako konke okusemandleni akho ukuphuma kubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo, banokukutshabalalisa!
9. Ukungabi nantlonelo
Ngumqondiso osisilumkiso wobudlelwane obuxhaphazayo xa iqabane lakho lingakuhloniphi. Uyakukujongela phantsi nasesidlangalaleni. Bayakonwabela ukukubeka phantsi phambi kwabanye abantu; ukungamameli okanye ukuphendula xa uthetha; ukuphazamisa iminxeba yakho; ukwala ukunceda.
10. Ukuhlukunyezwa
Iqabane elihlukumezayo likuhlukumeza ngazo zonke iindlela. Ubeka iliso kwiminxeba yakho, uphuma nabani, ubona bani. Uzama ukulawula ubomi bakho.
11. Ubundlobongela obuphathelele kwezesondo
Iqabane elixhaphazayo lisebenzisa amandla, izoyikiso okanye ukoyikisa ukwenza ukuba nenze izenzo zesondo; ukulala nawe xa ungafuni ukwabelana ngesondo. Bazama ukoyikisa ukuba ulale nabo. Bangade bakudlwengule.
12. Ubundlobongela emzimbeni
Ukuba uyaliphikisa uluvo lweqabane lakho kwaye ugqibela ngokuloba; ngempama; ukubetha; ukuluma; ukucofa; ukukhaba; ukutsala iinwele; ukutyhala Ukutyhala ukutshisa; okanye ukukrwitsha, phuma kulwalamano, kukuhlukumeza!
13. Ukukhanyela
Iqabane elimphethe gadalala liyazikhanyela izenzo zalo. Iqabane lakho elixhaphazayo alithathi xanduva ngezenzo zalo. Umlingane wakho okuhlukumezayo esithi impatho gadalala ayenzeki; esithi ubangele impatho gadalala.
14. Ukungakwazi ukuthemba iqabane lakho
Luphawu olucacileyo lobudlelwane obuxhaphazayo ukuba iqabane lakho alithembekanga kwaphela. Ukuba awunakho ukubamba iqabane lakho ngenxa yamazwi alo ngenxa yobuxoki, ukwaphula izithembiso, ke ulwalamano oluhlukumezayo.
Uziva usengozini
Nje ukuba ungakhululekanga ukuveza ingqondo kunye neengcinga zakho, xa uziva umzimba wakho, umoya, kunye nomphefumlo usengozini yokwenzakaliswa, luphawu lwesilumkiso lokuba ubandakanyeka kubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo.