Umxholo
- Ubungqina besayensi
- Izibonelelo ezintlanu zothando lomgama omde
- 1. Unxibelelwano oluphuculweyo
- 2. Ukwanda komnqweno kunye nomnqweno
- 3. Uxinzelelo oluncinci
- 4. Ixesha elininzi 'wena'
- 5. Ukuzinikela okunzulu
- Bangazuza njani abo bangekho kubudlelwane obude
Uthando lomgama omde luhlala lubonwa kukukhanya okungalunganga xa eneneni inezibonelelo zalo. Xa ucinga ngendlela esihlala ngayo, kukangaphi sithanda ukunxulumana nabantu abafanayo kunye nendlela esisabela ngayo xa umntu onjengondwendwe elele ukwamkela kwakhe, akukho nzima ukuqonda. Siyabathanda abantu ebomini bethu kodwa olo thando aluthethi ukuba siyabafuna ngalo lonke ixesha. Ngothando lomgama omde, unayo indawo efunekayo. Abo banobudlelwane obude banokutsala kakhulu kumaqabane abo, ngothando olupheleleyo, abakwaziyo ukunxibelelana kwinqanaba lobukrelekrele kwaye bonwabele uthando olukuphahla kunye namawaka eekhilomitha phakathi kwabo.
Ubungqina besayensi
Ngokwophononongo olwenziwe liqela lophando elikhokelwa sisazi ngengqondo se-Queen's University u-Emma Dargie, abantu abangatshatanga kubudlelwane obude (LDRs) abanamava olwalamano olusezantsi kunalawo angekhoyo kubudlelwane obude. Uphononongo olubandakanya abantu abangama-474 nabasetyhini abangama-243 kubudlelwane obude obude kunye nabasetyhini abangama-314 kunye nabesilisa abali-111 ababehlala kufutshane neqabane labo bafumanisa ukuba bobabini benza ngokulinganayo. Okubangela umdla nangakumbi kukuba, izibini ezikude ezihlala kude enye kwenye zisenza ngcono kunxibelelwano, ukusondelelana kunye nolwaneliseko ngokubanzi. Ukuba ayibobungqina ngokwaneleyo, uphononongo olupapashwe kwifayile ye- Ijenali yoNxibelelwano ngoJuni ka-2013 wafumanisa ukuba ngaphandle kwenkolelo edumileyo, uthando lomgama omde lunokwanelisa. Ixesha lomgangatho libambe ixabiso elingaphezulu kobungakanani.
Izibonelelo ezintlanu zothando lomgama omde
1. Unxibelelwano oluphuculweyo
Unxibelelwano ngumba ophambili kwinani lobudlelwane kodwa oku akukho phantsi komcimbi kunye nomgama omde. Isizathu ubukhulu becala kungenxa yokuba omabini la maqela enza umzamo wokunxibelelana nabanye kuba lo ngowona mthombo uphambili wokubopha xa ukude. Nokuba unxibelelwano lwenziwa ngokufowuna ngelizwi, isicatshulwa, i-imeyile okanye iSkype, omabini amaqabane athambekele ekunxibelelaneni ngokufanelekileyo kuba,
1. Umgama wejografi,
2. Abo banobudlelwane obukude banobambiswano oluncinci lwemihla ngemihla nomntu wabo okhethekileyo, kwaye
3. Bafuna ukubeka ubomi babo etafileni ukugcina amaqabane abo ehlaziyiwe kwaye begcina ubudlelwane obuphilileyo, obuvulekileyo nobuthembekileyo.
Kunye nonxibelelwano oluphuculweyo, unxibelelwano lunentsingiselo ngakumbi. Abantu abatshatileyo kubudlelwane obude bathanda ukuba neencoko ezinentsingiselo ezinegalelo ekugcineni ulwalamano olomeleleyo. Ngcono nangakumbi, bafunda indlela yokuthetha kunye nokuphulaphula.Abo bakwi-LDR basebenzisa unxibelelwano ukuze babelane ngeemvakalelo zabo kwinqanaba elinzulu kuba kukho isithuba sendawo kwaye bafumane ukuqonda okuphezulu omnye komnye njengesiphumo.
2. Ukwanda komnqweno kunye nomnqweno
Umnqweno kunye nomnqweno wokuhlala uphila xa izibini zingakwazi ukunxibelelana ngokwasemzimbeni nanini na zifuna. Ubudlelwane bomgama omde bukhuthaza ngakumbi ukwenza iiseshoni kuba amaqabane anqwenela ithuba lokudibana ngokwasemzimbeni kwaye oko kukhokelela kwimini engalibalekiyo yosondelelo. Oku ikakhulu kubangelwa ngumnqweno kunye nolindelo olwakha ngelixa bekude omnye komnye. Olu lindelo luqhuma kube kanye xa abantu ababini behlangana kwakhona okuzalisekisayo, okwanelisa kakhulu, kunye nokushushu okucacileyo. Kunzima ukuba zintlantsi xa abantu ababini bengachithi ixesha elininzi kunye. Ukunqongophala kwexesha kugcina ubutsha wonke umntu uyathandwa kwangoko ekuqaleni kobudlelwane.
3. Uxinzelelo oluncinci
Isibonelelo esaziwa kancinci sothando lomgama omde luxinzelelo oluncinci. Kukho unxibelelwano oluthe ngqo phakathi kolwaneliseko lobuhlobo kunye noxinzelelo. Abaphandi kwiKholeji yasePomona baphonononge eli khonkco ngokujonga ngokusondeleyo, "ukonga ulwalamano" okanye ukusebenzisa iinkumbulo ukugcina unxibelelwano olomeleleyo lweemvakalelo xa kunqongophele ubuso nobuso. Abaphandi babeka izifundo kuthotho lweemvavanyo zoxinzelelo kwimeko elawulwayo ukuze babone ukuba ukonga ubudlelwane yinto esebenzayo ngakumbi yoxinzelelo kunye nokuqikelela ntoni? Ibiyi. Umgama ukhuthaza izibini ukuba zijolise kwimpembelelo elungileyo kunye nefuthe kulwalamano ngeyona ndlela ilungileyo ngelixa inegalelo kulonwabo lwabo bobabini ababandakanyekayo.
4. Ixesha elininzi 'wena'
Enye into edityanisiweyo yothando lomgama omde kukuchitha ixesha lakho ngokwakho. Ukungabinayo enye into ebalulekileyo ngalo lonke ixesha kunezibonelelo zayo. Ngenxa yexesha elongezelelekileyo lasimahla, abantu baneeyure ezininzi zokubeka inkangeleko yabo, ukomelela komzimba, kunye nemisebenzi abakhetha ukuyenza bodwa. Wonke umntu kufuneka azingce ngamanye amaxesha kwaye kwii-LDRs akukho sizathu sokuziva ungalunganga ngayo. Ixesha elilodwa liza negalelo kwimpilo-ntle yomntu kunye nomoya opheleleyo. Eli galelo ekugqibeleni liya kuphucula lonke ubudlelwane, kokubini ukuthandana hayi.
5. Ukuzinikela okunzulu
Ukuzibophelela kwiqabane elikude kufuna ukuzibophelela okunzulu ngengqondo. Abantu bajongene nezilingo, ubusuku bodwa kunye nalawo maxesha apho bobabini banqwenela ukuba amaqabane abo abekhona ukuze babelane ngamava. Kukho iingxaki kubudlelwane obude. Nangona ekuqaleni bejongwa njengeziphene, ikwayizizathu zokuba ubudlelwane bobude obude bukhetheke kakhulu. Ukoyisa imiqobo enxulumene nolu hlobo lobudlelwane ngumboniso omhle wokuba bazimisele kangakanani abantu ababini omnye komnye. Ukuzimisela kokwenza ukuba izinto zisebenze kuthandana kakhulu kwaye yinto esinokuthi sonke sithathe kuyo. Ubudlelwane obukufuphi kunye nokude kufuna umgudu kuzo zombini iziphelo.
Bangazuza njani abo bangekho kubudlelwane obude
Abo bangekho kubudlelwane obude banokuzuza koku kulapha ngasentla ngokugcina ubuntu babo. Abantu kubudlelwane kufuneka bafumane indawo eyonwabisayo phakathi kobudlelwane kunye nokuzenzela ixesha. Chitha iintsuku ezimbalwa ngaphandle, hamba nohambo kunye nabahlobo okanye ubeke nje ubusuku obuncinci ngeveki ukuze uhlale ekhaya wedwa kwaye uzisongele incwadi elungileyo. Ukuba wedwa njengokuba unjalo kunye nomnye obalulekileyo kunempilo kwaye kuya kwenza uthando luhlale ixesha elide. Wonke umntu kufuneka aphile ubomi bakhe. Ukuxabisa phakathi kwamaqabane kubaluleke ngakumbi kunomgama wangempela. Ukugxila kokulungileyo kubudlelwane kunye nokuxabisa ngokwenene wonke umzuzu kunye kugcina intsebenziswano isomelela.