Umxholo
- 1. Thatha ingcebiso kaStephen Covey
- 2. Kwangoko kunokuba kulunge
- 3. Nika izisombululo, hayi iingxaki
- 4. Yenza ulindelo lucace
- 5. Musa ukulala uphambene kwiqabane lakho
Zininzi izinto ezihambayo ngaphakathi komtshato omde kunye nozisayo. Kufuneka kubekho uthando kunye nentlonipho omnye komnye. Ukugcina uthando luphila, ukunyaniseka nokuthembela kubalulekile nako.
Ukuba uza kuchitha ubomi bakho kunye nomnye umntu, kufuneka kubekho indawo yazo zonke ezi zinto kulwalamano lwakho.
Kodwa ngaphandle konxibelelwano olwaneleyo kubudlelwane, umtshato wakho ungangaphumeleli kulindelo lwakho.
Unxibelelwano olusebenzayo kubudlelwane yiglue ebambe yonke into endaweni yayo, ivumela uthando ukuba lukhule kunye nokuthembana kuqhakaze.
Ukuba awukwazi ukuthetha nothando lwakho ngomntu, baya kuyazi njani? Ukuba awukwazi ukunxibelelana ngokukhululekileyo nangokunyaniseka neqabane lakho, kungakho njani ukuthembana?
Kungenxa yoko le nto Ukuphucula iseti yonxibelelwano isiseko kwimpumelelo yomtshato wakho. Ngokusebenza ngendlela yokunxibelelana neqabane lakho, ubudlelwane bakho buya kukhula.
Ke ukuba uyazibuza ukuba unxibelelana njani ngcono kubudlelwane? Okanye ungaluphucula njani unxibelelwano kubudlelwane?
Masithathe ixesha kwaye sijonge izakhono ezi-5 zonxibelelwano kwizibini ekufanele ukuba ziqaliswe namhlanje ezinokuguqula indlela eninxibelelana ngayo neqabane lakho.
Ziqhelanise nezi ngcebiso zonxibelelwano zisebenzayo mihla le, kwaye iziphumo ziya kuzithetha ngokwazo.
1. Thatha ingcebiso kaStephen Covey
UCovey, umbhali we-7 Habits of Highly Effective People, uthi malunga nonxibelelwano phakathi kwabantu, kuya kufuneka uhlale ufuna ukuqonda kuqala kwaye uqondwe.
Esi senzo sinokusebenza kwindlela onxibelelana ngayo nabani na, kodwa ngokwendlela osebenza ngayo emtshatweni wakho kunye nendlela yokunxibelelana kubudlelwane, eli cebiso liyigolide.
Sonke sinotyekelo lokuchitha ixesha lethu elininzi “simamele” omnye umntu sicinga ngendlela esiza kuphendula ngayo.
Endaweni yokuhlala phantsi sithathe lonke ulwazi oluzayo, sifumana igama elinye, ibinzana, okanye isincoko sencoko yabo kwaye sithathe izigqibo malunga nento esiza kuyiphindisa.
Ngenxa yoku, asiyiva ngokwenyani yonke into ethethwayo. Ukuba kunjalo, impendulo yethu isenokungabikho.
Ngexesha elizayo xa uphakathi kwintetho enentsingiselo enomdla nomyeni wakho okanye umfazi, melana nomnqweno wokucinga ngendlela oza kuphendula ngayo phambi kokuba bagqibe ukuthetha.
Hlala nje uphulaphule, umamele, kwaye uve kanye ukuba bathini. Nje ukuba wenze njalo, phendula ngokufanelekileyo.
2. Kwangoko kunokuba kulunge
Sukuzibekela ecaleni incoko engathandekiyo. Isizathu sokuba bengonwabanga kukuba kusenokwenzeka ukuba kufuneka yenzekile.
Ukuba umyeni wakho akabubeki ubunzima bakhe njengotata, veza iimvakalelo zakho ngendlela eyakhayo. Ukuba umfazi wakho khange abekho mva nje, kwaye ichaphazela kakubi ubudlelwane bakho, thetha.
Okukhona uvumela ezi ncoko ukuba zihlale eshalofini, kokukhona imiba iya kukhula. Nje ukuba uchonge ingxaki, kwaye uziva ukuba ifuna ukulungiswa, yinyamekele ishishini.
3. Nika izisombululo, hayi iingxaki
Zininzi iindlela zonxibelelwano, kwaye xa sele uthathe isigqibo sokuba kufuneka uxoxe ngokunyanisekileyo neqabane lakho, qiniseka ukuba uyangena kwincoko ngendlela ejolise kwisisombululo.
Ukuba uqala incoko ngokubaxelela indlela abanqamke ngayo ngokwasemphefumlweni okanye indlela ekukho ngayo kodwa benganikeli ngezisombululo, wenza amaqela omabini ngokungafanelekanga.
Yiba nomfanekiso ngqondweni wale nto: isibini sisembindini wengxabano xa umfazi exelela indoda ...
“Awuyondoda ithanda ulonwabo endatshata nayo.”
Ingxaki ichazwe ngokucacileyo, kodwa akukho sisombululo sokuthetha. Izinto ezimbini kufuneka zenzeke ngoku.
Umyeni uya kukhubeka okanye azikhusele. Unokuphuma ngaphandle ngezizathu zokuba angabi njalo, ebeka ityala kumfazi wakhe, kwaye elungelelanisa ubungozi bencoko.
Unokubuyela umva kwaye avale kude, angabinamdla ekujonganeni nomcimbi.
Kuzo zombini iimeko, ingxaki esele ichaziwe ayinakuze isonjululwe. Ukuvakalisa umba wakho ngento kulungile, kodwa zilungiselele ngento enokwenziwa ukulungisa ingxaki.
Endaweni yokuxelela umyeni ukuba akonwabanga ngobuntu bakhe obufipheleyo, mhlawumbi kufanelekile ukuba bacebise ngezinto abanokuzenza kunye okanye benze amathuba endoda yokuphinda afumane ukuzonwabisa okudala.
Ke enye into onokuyifumana kwizakhono zonxibelelwano ezingcono kukuba nesisombululo esifumanekayo ukubonelela ngengqwalaselo entsha kwincoko esele ingonwabanga.
Ngaphandle koko, Ukuchaza ingxaki ungakhange uzame ukunceda ukufumana isisombululo kukukhalaza.
4. Yenza ulindelo lucace
Ulindele ntoni kwiqabane lakho nakubudlelwane bakho?
Umgangatho wobudlelwane bakho uya kuxhomekeka kakhulu kumgangatho wolindelo lwakho oluchaziweyo. Abanye bethu benza impazamo yokucinga ukuba imiba ethile yobudlelwane "ihamba ngaphandle kokuthetha."
Ukuba ayithethi ngokuvakalayo, emva koko awunakukhathazeka xa iqabane lakho lingazifezekisi izinto ozilindeleyo.
Ukuba ufuna ukuba nabantwana, yazise. Ukuba awufuni kuqhathwa, xelela iqabane lakho. Ukuba uneenkolelo ezithile malunga neenkcukacha zobudlelwane bakho, lazise iqabane lakho.
Sukukhohliswa ngokucinga, "Bamele bazi ngcono." Ukuba awuyicacisanga, awunasizathu sokuma xa unomsindo. Unxibelelwano ngundoqo ukuseka ulindelo kubo nabuphi na ubudlelwane.
5. Musa ukulala uphambene kwiqabane lakho
Kukho intsalela ethile ehlala emva kokungaboni ngasonye. Xa ukhethe ukuchitha ubomi bakho bonke nomntu, ubophelelekile ukuba ucofe amaqhosha omnye komnye qho emva kwexesha elikhulu.
Ukuba ugqibela ngokuxabana ngaphambi kwexesha lokulala, qiniseka ukuba uyasombulula okanye ufumane ukuvalwa kwesihloko ngaphambi kokuba uziqengqele ulale.
Le yenye yezona ngcebiso zonxibelelwano zibalulekileyo kuwe ukuze ugcine engqondweni. Ungaze ulale ungakhange usombulule iingxoxo. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba wonwabe ziziphumo, kunyanzelekile, kodwa awungekhe ube nomsi.
Ukuba nokuvalwa ngaphambi kokuba uzame ukuvala iliso, kungenza umahluko omkhulu kwindlela usuku olulandelayo okanye ulwalamano lwakho oluza kudlala ngayo.
Ukuba ufika kwisiphelo sentlonelo kwincoko yakho, uya kuvuka ungenanto yakwenza nenzondo kwaye uya kuba nakho ukubuyela kwindawo enothando ngaloo mini.
Ukuba awukucombululi ukungavisisani kwakho phambi kokuba uvale amehlo, kunokwenzeka ukuba uvuke ucaphukise iqabane lakho, ulungele umjikelo wesi-2.
Ngaba umtshato wakho uyathandwa kwaye wenze umthetho wokusombulula ukungavisisani kwakho ngaphambi kokuba ulale. Iya kunciphisa ingqumbo enokulandela ngengomso ukuba ubungenakufikelela kwindawo yokuvalwa kubusuku obungaphambili.
Izakhono zonxibelelwano ezintlanu zinokunceda ekomelezeni ubudlelwane phakathi kwenu nobabini. Zama kwaye wonwabele umohluko.
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