Umxholo
- 1. Ukusondelelana kwengqondo
- 2. Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo
- 3. Intsingiselo yokomoya
- 4. Ukuthetha ngesondo
Yintoni intsingiselo yokusondelelana?
Isichazi-magama sichaza “ukusondelelana” njengokusondelelana okanye ukusondelelana ngokwesondo, kodwa ubusazi ukuba kukho iindlela ezininzi zokuchaza ukuba yintoni ukusondelelana?
Indlela enomdla yokuchaza ukusondelelana iya kuba, kukudityaniswa kweentliziyo. Ukusondelana neqabane lethu kusivumela ukuba "sijonge" ukuba ngoobani amaqabane ethu kwaye lenza iqabane lethu ukuba "libone" kuthi.
Into ekufuneka uzibuze yona yile: kuthetha ntoni ukusondelelana kum? Oku kunokuba yinkcazo yokusondelana ngokunxulumene nomtshato okanye nabuphi na ubudlelwane. Ukuchaza ukusondelelana kukuchonga indlela nobabini enxibelelana ngayo.
Intsingiselo yokusondelelana
Yintoni intsingiselo yokusondelelana? Buyintoni ukusondelelana kokwenene? Ngaba ukusondelelana ngaphandle kwesondo kunokwenzeka?
Abanye kwizengqondo namhlanje babona ubudlelwane obusondeleyo njengokusondelelana okanye ukuba neentlobano zesini. Inkcazo eyinyani yokusondelelana ayisiyiyo kuphela imizimba emibini yokudibanisa ukusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni okanye isondo, inzulu kunoko.
'Buyintoni ubuhlobo' okanye 'Buyintoni ukusondelelana emtshatweni' kunokuba nentsingiselo eyahlukileyo kubantu abahlukeneyo.
Ingcinga ye ukusondelelana kubandakanya ubudlelwane bokuvumelana apho abantu ababini baphindaphinda amaxesha abathandanayo kunye neemvakalelo zokuthembana, iimvakalelo kunye nokusondelelana komzimba.
Jonga kwakhona:
Nazi iinkcazo eziphambili ezi-4 zokusondelelana kunye nokuba zithetha ntoni kuwe:
1. Ukusondelelana kwengqondo
Ngaba nobabini kubude obude obufanayo? Ngaba "niyazana"? Ngaba ungathetha ‘ngazo zonke iiyure zobusuku ngayo nantoni na nangayo yonke into — nkqu nezinto ezinje ngabantwana nemali? Yiyo le nto kuthethwa ngayo kwinkcazo yokusondelelana kwengqondo.
Ayikuko ukuba omnye umntu ukrelekrele kunomnye; ngakumbi ukuze ube nendlela efanayo ebomini kwaye wonwabele ukuncokola kunye. Unokuba nemibono eyahlukileyo, kodwa usebenza ukuhlangana.
Ngaphandle kokusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo ukuba ubudlelwane buphumelele, ubudlelwane budinga inqanaba elithile lokufana ngokwasengqondweni phakathi kwamaqabane.
Ubudlelwane obusondeleyo kulapho izibini ziyakwazi ukuzonwabisa kwaye zinegalelo kubomi bomnye nomnye ngokhono lwayo lobukrelekrele.
Imithetho yokusondelelana kwengqondo ixhomekeke kwinto yokuba abantu abanamandla afanayo okuqonda bayahambelana ngakumbi.
Nazi ke izinto ezimbalwa ekufuneka uzigcine engqondweni ukuze ubambelele kufutshane ngokwasengqondweni:
- Fumana kwaye uzimanye nabantu abanesimo sengqondo kunye neminqweno efanayo neyakho.
- Khangela abantu abanomdla kunye neenjongo ezifanayo.
- Ukudibana nabantu abaneseti efanayo yokunyaniseka kunye nexabiso.
2. Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo
Yintoni intsingiselo yokusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo? Okanye yintoni ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo?
Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo emtshatweni kuxa abantu abatshatileyo bekhulisa imvakalelo yokuqina yokusondelelana nothando omnye komnye.
Obo budlelwane buchazwa yindlela abatshatileyo abaziva ngayo bekhuselekile, bethembana kwaye benxibelelana.
Xa usondele ngokwasemphefumlweni, oko kuthetha ukuba usengozini. Uyekela unogada phantsi kwaye uzive ukhuselekile ngokwenza njalo.
Xa uziva olu hlobo lokusondela, unokuxelelana nantoni na kwaye uzive wamkelekile. Nobabini ninako ukuva ukuba uziva njani omnye umntu.
Uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo banokuthi babe kunye ixesha elide kwaye baswele ulwalamano olusenyongweni. Kungenxa yokuba le yeyona nto yoyikekayo. Amaxesha amaninzi, abayiqondi nokunqongophala kokusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kubomi babo kude kube lixesha.
Nazi i zimbalwa izinto onokuzenza ukukhulisa ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo emtshatweni wakho:
- Chitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye neqabane lakho ngaphandle kweziphazamiso.
- Yiba nobubele, uhloniphe, unothando kwaye ube nemfesane kwiqabane lakho.
- Jonga izinto ezintsha kunye nemisebenzi onokuyenza kunye neqabane lakho.
3. Intsingiselo yokomoya
Mhlawumbi into yokugqibela ocinga ngayo xa usiva "ukusondelelana" kokomoya. Kodwa ukuba uyakholelwa ukuba uThixo okanye amandla athile aphakamileyo afuna sithandane, iyavakala loo nto.
Asizanga ngengozi apha, kwaye ngandlela thile siyadibana. Sakha unxibelelwano olomeleleyo. Xa niphuhlisa ubudlelwane bokomoya, nobabini niyayiqonda imfuno yokomoya kunye neenkolelo zomnye nomnye.
Uvumela ubudlelwane ukuba bube ubuchule bokomoya.
Kutheni le nto singabenzakalisi abanye, kuba kungumthetho? Hayi, kuba sikholelwa ukuba ubomi buxabisekile. Oko kukudibana ngokomoya. Xa ukufezekisa oko kubudlelwane bakho obusondeleyo, uqhagamshelene neqabane lakho, ngokomoya.
Ubudlelwane obusondeleyo bentsingiselo kuxa abantu abatshatileyo bezibophelela ekuhlonipheni, ekugcineni nasekuphuculeni injongo kaThixo yobomi babo.
Ukusondelelana ngokomoya kunzulu kwaye kunzulu, kwaye kwenza ukuba wena neqabane lakho nibe zezona nguqulelo zingcono kuni.
Ifundisa ukuba ubuxabise ubukho nentando kaThixo emtshatweni wakho nakubomi bakho. Ityebisa inkolelo yakho kwinto enkulu kunawe kwaye ifuna ukuzincama ngokubhekisele kwingqondo yakho yendalo yokuzingca.
Nazi izinto ezimbalwa ekufuneka uzenzile ukuze utyebise ubomi bakho, ngokomoya:
- Kholelwa kwinto ephezulu kunawe kwaye nixhasane ukuvela kwiinkolelo zenu.
- Ziqhelise ukucamngca
- Jongana nemicimbi yakho yezengqondo kunye nendlela yokoyisa
4. Ukuthetha ngesondo
Ukuba "sisondelelene" yingcambu yegama "ukusondelelana," kodwa oko kuthetha ntoni? Ngaba isondo nje, okanye ingaphezulu koko? Ngaba ukhona umahluko phakathi kwesondo kunye nokusondelelana?
Inkcazo yokusondelelana kubudlelwane yahlukile kwisibini esitshatileyo.
Kodwa eyona nto inento yokwenza nokubonisa ngokwesondo ukuba nobabini niyakwazi ukuziva nikhululekile ukuzibonakalisa ngendlela enesondo kwaye niziva nikhululekile omnye komnye emva koko ufikelele kwinqanaba elifanelekileyo lokusondelelana.
Ayikokwabelana ngesondo kuphela—wabelana ngeyona ndawo ikhethekileyo, kwaye kungenjalo.
Idibeneyo: Buyintoni ubuhlobo bobulili? Iindlela ezi-6 zokudibanisa ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo
Ukuthatha kokugqibela
Lilonke, uhlobo ngalunye lokusondelelana yinkqubo. Ingatshintsha, ke sebenza kuyo kunye neqabane lakho ulwalamano olwanelisayo nolwanelisayo. Unokufuna nokucebisa ngokusondeleyo ukomeleza ubudlelwane bakho.
Iinkcazo ekwabelwana ngazo ngentla ngobuhlobo kunye nokuba zithetha ntoni kuwe zinokuba sisiseko esihle sokwakha ubudlelwane obungapheliyo kunye nezinye zakho ezibalulekileyo.
Ukuchaza nokuphonononga ukusondelelana kumanqanaba amaninzi, luhambo olonwabisayo, olo kufuneka uluthathe.